“Thanx a lot for the wish. Miss and love you lotss. Take care xxx”
You know how simple words could give such big impact on you and simply brightened your day up when nobody around you did. It might sound a bit cliché and not all people are able to appreciate the hidden meaning of the words but to me, this message did actually make me become sentimental over it. Dina, biase la bende2 kecik mcm ni pun nak sentimental. Bosan je kan. Huhu.. Yesterday [what? Dah February dah ke? Aduhai..] was along ima’s birthday and I wished her with typical family-birthday-wish. She was doing her ward rounds tadi so kelam kabut sket nak reply message aku. Huhu.. But I really appreciate it though. Now, aku rasa sangat homesick :(
Anyways, I know I haven’t been updating for quite awhile and I’m doing it now just for the sake of being a blogger [and yea, I feel like writing something though..]. Life has been so hectic in these few days especially when the most awaited B@ng$awan is approaching soon. I’ve never been this busy [well maybe I had but I couldn’t recall how the exact situation was] and sometimes I came to think why did in the first place I accept the offer to be one of those in charging of the event. It has been months to sketch everything out and to tell you the truth, it doesn’t go as planned. Well, I’m not blaming anyone; it’s just a fact that I need to perceive in dealing with this kind of circumstances and I’m gladly say that it really teaches me a lot. No matter how busy I am – I couldn’t catch up my studies and had to skip a few classes – I don’t feel even the slightest regret because somehow or another, I could feel something positive developing within and I’m kinda thankful to be given this opportunity actually. My time is coming and I’m going to step down soon so it should be my obligation to work my *** off and give all-out to this grand affair.
Hmm.. I don’t really have things to blog actually [ade je banyak bende tapi tak larat laa.. sangat penat. Heh..]. Firstly, on my personal note, I’m actually glad and happy and pleased and God-knows-what to receive a reply from him. Gumbire! Hehe.. Secondly, about my interview with Notts the other day, it was ok. Yep, as simple as that. Sounds apathetic? Haha agak la disitu. No, actually the interview went out smoothly. I answered all questions confidently with a big smile painted on my face but I just feel it could have been much better. And to tell you the truth, all hopes that I’ve been saving all this while shatter off to pieces just like that. I know it’s too early to say anything but I could feel somehow that my application status right now is not really on my side. Bajet ah, yg pegi interview ng aku hari tu sume hebat2 seperti Fir@ yang dah dapat offer Cambridge pun, so agak la rasa intimidated in a way. But it’s ok. Prayer is just the only choice I have for now. On a positive note however, my counselor said that Leicester interviewer the other day did specifically mention my name and she sounded quite positive about me. Well, it’s a good thing to hear but I don’t want to put high hopes on that. Things could happen without prior notice and indeed, everything is kerja Allah untuk tentukan apa yang terbaik untuk aku so, just wait and see :)
Thirdly, about the B@ng$awan thingy, the competition is very intense. Masing2 nak buat yang terbaik and semua orang tengah tensyen2 sekarang ni. Walaupun aku tak pernah pulak selama ni skip kelas sebab TERoverslept [pernah je. Hehe.. tapi last week, 2 kelas maths and 2 kelas chem aku miss!] sebab letih sangat and memang kalau nak ikutkan memang tensyen la, Alhamdulillah aku tak rasa ‘that’ stress. Memang penat and letih la but I can still cope with my conscience and consciousness. Hehe.. Aku mengaku aku memang tak sepower and sehebat d0d0 dulu tapi so far, kerja semua jalan. Walaupun not as smoothly as I hope it to be tapi hidup lagi la.
Dulu aku selalu ingat ‘kalau jadik head of props kene pandai marah2, arah2 and strict dengan orang yang kerja bawah aku’ and dulu aku tak confident nak jadik HOP sebab aku tak geti marah orang selain adik aku sniri. Heh.. Tapi what I learned from this experience is to be professional and berhemah in your work. Being a leader doesn’t mean you have all the power to do whatever you like. That’s just not my type. Being strict and firm memang sangat penting, I admit it but to me, as long as you respect other people, people will respect you back. Memang ada sesetengah junior ni memang kepala batu sket but kalau marah2 diorang pun it doesn’t help much. They will learn through experience. Marah tu perlu and penting but not too much. Aku ingat lagi segala bibit2 b@ng$awan dulu dengan senior, memang hebat dan meletop gile. Kadang2 terasa rindu gile kat senior even sampai sekarang. Mungkin sebab masa aku kat Langkawi and kat maahad dulu senior2 aku sume sampah dan takleh harap [astaghfirullah.. jahatnye aku..] and sampai sini, memang rapat gile, so, sedih gak ar bile terkenang mase dulu. Walaupun aku nye pet bro [F@hmi] and pet sis [p@m] aku sekarang lagi baik ngan aku daripada encik p3j@i and kak mir@, terasa jugak la the difference. Tapi aku sayang F@hmi n p@m lagi ar. Syok buli diorang. Hehe..
Ape ntah aku nak cakap senornye ni?
Haa kirenye, walaupun sekarang aku tengah sibuk dengan b@ngs@wan and studies sume dah karam di dasar laut, aku masih ada kekuatan and keyakinan untuk teruskan hidup. And aku percaya, segala kekuatan and kesenangan urusan aku takkan ada kalau bukan Allah yang kurniakan. Aku selalu cakap kat @nid [sebab dia selalu sangat tensyen pasal study sampai marah2 kat aku kalo dia tak faham ape yg aku ajar. Cis!] yang hanya Allah yang boleh bagi kita kekuatan dan takde orang atau benda lain.
Narrated byAbu Musa :He said to me, "O 'Abdullah bin Qais! Say, 'Laa hawla wala quwwata illa billah (There is neither might nor power but with Allah), for it is one of the treasures of Paradise." (part of) Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:484
Aku teringat ada sorang kawan aku dulu, lepas dia clash ngan pakwe die, memang horror gile sampai aku rase tak larat nak layan. Dia kate, “Aku tak dapat bayangkan macam mana aku nak go on with my life lepas ni. Aku tak boleh la dina!”. Tu diaaaa! Statement sikit punye hebat. Aku tak salahkan dia pun. Mungkin aku tak alami lagi pengalaman macam tu or maybe sebab aku terlalu ego untuk kalah dengan diri sendiri hanya sebab bende bodoh macam tu atau mungkin sebab aku terlalu matang [cewah! Haha poyo gile..] but to me, saying things like that is some kind of a humiliation. Come on, life is not just about being in love!! Sebab tu la orang yang putus cinta ni memang horror tak bleh bla. Kalau la diorang sedar yang itulah hakikat cinta manusia yang mengecewakan and menyesatkan, diorang mesti tak jadik sehorror itu. Tapi ye la, mungkin seru belum tiba lagi kan. Doa je la untuk mereka2 itu supaya diperkuatkan semangat..
Aku suka satu phrase aku terbaca dulu tapi tak ingat kat mana, “Dunia ini terlalu hina untuk ditangisi”. Tapi hakikatnya, dunia memang medan tangisan. Dari kita dilahirkan sampai kita dikebumikan, suara tangisan tak pernah henti2. Ustad H@sriz@l pernah cakap, kenapa seorang bayi tu menangis bila keluar dari perut ibunya sebab sebagai satu sinisan daripada Allah bahawa dunia ini memang sebuah medan tangisan. Tengok AF nangis, tengok segala bagai reality tv pun nangis macam takde bende lain je. Aku pun suke nangis jugak ape. Hehe.. Tapi betapa bodohnya kita untuk menangisi kerana dunia yang sangat deceiving ini [uh..pardon my language!]. Mudah2an lepas ni kita perbanyakkan air mata kita sebagai air mata penyesalan dan keinsafan. Mudah2an titisan air mata kita lepas ni menjadi bukti kepada taubat kita kepada Allah. Dan perbanyakkanlah doa kepada Allah supaya diperkuatkan hati dan semangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan di dunia yang amat banyak dugaan ini.
You know how simple words could give such big impact on you and simply brightened your day up when nobody around you did. It might sound a bit cliché and not all people are able to appreciate the hidden meaning of the words but to me, this message did actually make me become sentimental over it. Dina, biase la bende2 kecik mcm ni pun nak sentimental. Bosan je kan. Huhu.. Yesterday [what? Dah February dah ke? Aduhai..] was along ima’s birthday and I wished her with typical family-birthday-wish. She was doing her ward rounds tadi so kelam kabut sket nak reply message aku. Huhu.. But I really appreciate it though. Now, aku rasa sangat homesick :(
Anyways, I know I haven’t been updating for quite awhile and I’m doing it now just for the sake of being a blogger [and yea, I feel like writing something though..]. Life has been so hectic in these few days especially when the most awaited B@ng$awan is approaching soon. I’ve never been this busy [well maybe I had but I couldn’t recall how the exact situation was] and sometimes I came to think why did in the first place I accept the offer to be one of those in charging of the event. It has been months to sketch everything out and to tell you the truth, it doesn’t go as planned. Well, I’m not blaming anyone; it’s just a fact that I need to perceive in dealing with this kind of circumstances and I’m gladly say that it really teaches me a lot. No matter how busy I am – I couldn’t catch up my studies and had to skip a few classes – I don’t feel even the slightest regret because somehow or another, I could feel something positive developing within and I’m kinda thankful to be given this opportunity actually. My time is coming and I’m going to step down soon so it should be my obligation to work my *** off and give all-out to this grand affair.
Hmm.. I don’t really have things to blog actually [ade je banyak bende tapi tak larat laa.. sangat penat. Heh..]. Firstly, on my personal note, I’m actually glad and happy and pleased and God-knows-what to receive a reply from him. Gumbire! Hehe.. Secondly, about my interview with Notts the other day, it was ok. Yep, as simple as that. Sounds apathetic? Haha agak la disitu. No, actually the interview went out smoothly. I answered all questions confidently with a big smile painted on my face but I just feel it could have been much better. And to tell you the truth, all hopes that I’ve been saving all this while shatter off to pieces just like that. I know it’s too early to say anything but I could feel somehow that my application status right now is not really on my side. Bajet ah, yg pegi interview ng aku hari tu sume hebat2 seperti Fir@ yang dah dapat offer Cambridge pun, so agak la rasa intimidated in a way. But it’s ok. Prayer is just the only choice I have for now. On a positive note however, my counselor said that Leicester interviewer the other day did specifically mention my name and she sounded quite positive about me. Well, it’s a good thing to hear but I don’t want to put high hopes on that. Things could happen without prior notice and indeed, everything is kerja Allah untuk tentukan apa yang terbaik untuk aku so, just wait and see :)
Thirdly, about the B@ng$awan thingy, the competition is very intense. Masing2 nak buat yang terbaik and semua orang tengah tensyen2 sekarang ni. Walaupun aku tak pernah pulak selama ni skip kelas sebab TERoverslept [pernah je. Hehe.. tapi last week, 2 kelas maths and 2 kelas chem aku miss!] sebab letih sangat and memang kalau nak ikutkan memang tensyen la, Alhamdulillah aku tak rasa ‘that’ stress. Memang penat and letih la but I can still cope with my conscience and consciousness. Hehe.. Aku mengaku aku memang tak sepower and sehebat d0d0 dulu tapi so far, kerja semua jalan. Walaupun not as smoothly as I hope it to be tapi hidup lagi la.
Dulu aku selalu ingat ‘kalau jadik head of props kene pandai marah2, arah2 and strict dengan orang yang kerja bawah aku’ and dulu aku tak confident nak jadik HOP sebab aku tak geti marah orang selain adik aku sniri. Heh.. Tapi what I learned from this experience is to be professional and berhemah in your work. Being a leader doesn’t mean you have all the power to do whatever you like. That’s just not my type. Being strict and firm memang sangat penting, I admit it but to me, as long as you respect other people, people will respect you back. Memang ada sesetengah junior ni memang kepala batu sket but kalau marah2 diorang pun it doesn’t help much. They will learn through experience. Marah tu perlu and penting but not too much. Aku ingat lagi segala bibit2 b@ng$awan dulu dengan senior, memang hebat dan meletop gile. Kadang2 terasa rindu gile kat senior even sampai sekarang. Mungkin sebab masa aku kat Langkawi and kat maahad dulu senior2 aku sume sampah dan takleh harap [astaghfirullah.. jahatnye aku..] and sampai sini, memang rapat gile, so, sedih gak ar bile terkenang mase dulu. Walaupun aku nye pet bro [F@hmi] and pet sis [p@m] aku sekarang lagi baik ngan aku daripada encik p3j@i and kak mir@, terasa jugak la the difference. Tapi aku sayang F@hmi n p@m lagi ar. Syok buli diorang. Hehe..
Ape ntah aku nak cakap senornye ni?
Haa kirenye, walaupun sekarang aku tengah sibuk dengan b@ngs@wan and studies sume dah karam di dasar laut, aku masih ada kekuatan and keyakinan untuk teruskan hidup. And aku percaya, segala kekuatan and kesenangan urusan aku takkan ada kalau bukan Allah yang kurniakan. Aku selalu cakap kat @nid [sebab dia selalu sangat tensyen pasal study sampai marah2 kat aku kalo dia tak faham ape yg aku ajar. Cis!] yang hanya Allah yang boleh bagi kita kekuatan dan takde orang atau benda lain.
Narrated byAbu Musa :He said to me, "O 'Abdullah bin Qais! Say, 'Laa hawla wala quwwata illa billah (There is neither might nor power but with Allah), for it is one of the treasures of Paradise." (part of) Sahih Al-Bukhari 9:484
Aku teringat ada sorang kawan aku dulu, lepas dia clash ngan pakwe die, memang horror gile sampai aku rase tak larat nak layan. Dia kate, “Aku tak dapat bayangkan macam mana aku nak go on with my life lepas ni. Aku tak boleh la dina!”. Tu diaaaa! Statement sikit punye hebat. Aku tak salahkan dia pun. Mungkin aku tak alami lagi pengalaman macam tu or maybe sebab aku terlalu ego untuk kalah dengan diri sendiri hanya sebab bende bodoh macam tu atau mungkin sebab aku terlalu matang [cewah! Haha poyo gile..] but to me, saying things like that is some kind of a humiliation. Come on, life is not just about being in love!! Sebab tu la orang yang putus cinta ni memang horror tak bleh bla. Kalau la diorang sedar yang itulah hakikat cinta manusia yang mengecewakan and menyesatkan, diorang mesti tak jadik sehorror itu. Tapi ye la, mungkin seru belum tiba lagi kan. Doa je la untuk mereka2 itu supaya diperkuatkan semangat..
Aku suka satu phrase aku terbaca dulu tapi tak ingat kat mana, “Dunia ini terlalu hina untuk ditangisi”. Tapi hakikatnya, dunia memang medan tangisan. Dari kita dilahirkan sampai kita dikebumikan, suara tangisan tak pernah henti2. Ustad H@sriz@l pernah cakap, kenapa seorang bayi tu menangis bila keluar dari perut ibunya sebab sebagai satu sinisan daripada Allah bahawa dunia ini memang sebuah medan tangisan. Tengok AF nangis, tengok segala bagai reality tv pun nangis macam takde bende lain je. Aku pun suke nangis jugak ape. Hehe.. Tapi betapa bodohnya kita untuk menangisi kerana dunia yang sangat deceiving ini [uh..pardon my language!]. Mudah2an lepas ni kita perbanyakkan air mata kita sebagai air mata penyesalan dan keinsafan. Mudah2an titisan air mata kita lepas ni menjadi bukti kepada taubat kita kepada Allah. Dan perbanyakkanlah doa kepada Allah supaya diperkuatkan hati dan semangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan di dunia yang amat banyak dugaan ini.
Dah lama tak pegang camera, rindu gilaa nak tangkap gambar :(Tuhanku..
ketika hati sedang menangis…
hanya Engkau saja yang tahu…
betapa merananya diriku…
tak mungkin yang lain tahu…
Tuhanku,
ketika mereka meninggalkan aku…
sendiri terkapai-kapai…
ketika dunia tiada simpati…
kau tetap mendengar rintihanku…
pada-Mu tempatku menagih kasih…
ketenangan kurasa mendekati-Mu…
syahdu malam tak terasa sunyi…
Tuhanku,
ketika aku dalam kepayahan…
keseorangan dihimpit beban derita…
Kau beri aku kesabaran…
pengalaman mengajar erti kematangan…
lantas Kau membuka pintu hatiku…
untuk memberi kemaafan…
pada mereka yan pernah melukakanku…
pada mereka yang terus melukakanku…
dan pada mereka yang tersedar kerana melukakan…
Tuhanku,
ketika aku buntu…
keliru dengan masa depanku…
Kau berikan aku kekuatan…
Kau tunjukkan aku jalan…
peluang kedua yang sungguh bermakna…
sebagai penyuluh hidupku…
menebus usia yang sia-sia…
mengganti semalam yang pergi…
memperbaiki kelemahan diri…
mempelajari pengajaran dari kesilapan…
menimbus kekecewaan dan dendam…
Tuhanku Yang Maha Pengasih…
rahmat-Mu tak terkira…
syukurku melangit pun tak tercapai…
sungguh aku rasa berdosa…
kerana dulu sering terlalai…
semoga penyesalanku Kau terima…
Wallahu'alam
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