The Verity Of Judgment

“It’s not wrong to have feelings because they are meant for human beings. Being able to feel means being a normal person. The problem with it is, it doesn’t always happen at the right time..”

0113am 291207 Room124, Berj@y@ Eden H0tel, L0nd0n.

Wowwee.. it has been almost 3 years of blogging now. It’s Dec 29 already and by the time I key this in it would probably be the last day of the year 2007. ‘How time flies so fast’. That’s the most often used quote I’ve ever had for this year and probably for some more years to come. I know it’s quite late for me to merepek at right this hour but I just have so many things in head that need to be let out, kalau tak mmg tak boleh tido. Since I left my camera at Leicester and I’m in no access to surf the net for any blog update, I had no choice but to grab a pen and this piece of paper and started crapping like normal. Hehe..

Anyways, it has been two weeks of holiday already and I have two weeks left before the hols end and 3 weeks away to my exam (&^%$#@#$%^&*!!!!!). The reason why I really dislike long holidays is, the moment it ends is much much worse than having no holiday at all. Seriously. I’d rather have at least 5-day break than having 5 weeks off. I’ve been trying to cope with it ever since I was in college but nothing seems to be quite helpful. But I really have no choice and have to live with it as it is.

Now I’m back in this old little place called Leicester. Despite the dreadful feelings I have over long holidays, the Ireland-London trip was what I really needed after 3 months of the so-called ‘new life’ in Leicester though I have to go through without my kekasih hati beside. Sob2..

Cork and Ireland as a whole was SANGAT BEST!!!! Even though I couldn’t join my friends to a programme in Dublin and a trip to Turkey, I really had a superb time of my own with mum, anid, icah n lupi. I really don’t know how to describe every single detail of my trip because I’m a real hopeless in describing things but all in all, I really LOVED so much and I was really glad to receive such warm and pleasant hospitality from the people.

I had the chance to meet Malaysian doctors who have been working in Ireland for years. It was quite pressurising when they talked about the no-time-for-yourself situation mostly all the time and all exams they have to sit for. But it was rather inspiring to a further extent especially when they talked about the interesting part of being a doctor and the gains they have got in return. Banyak experience yg diorg share most of which I’ve never heard of before so memang menarik and encouraging sangat2. That’s that part. The scenery kat Ireland pun sangat cantik. Very green, calm, peaceful and beautiful. Memang best la.

Leicester has been a place that I really like too. The people, the M@l@ysian S0ciety, the murah-ness of the standard of living, the med school, my groupmates etc. I really had great 3 months in Leicester. But being a weirdo like me who has a strange psychological needs always demands odd things I rarely got the chance to have. The problem with me is, I can’t keep on staying at one place with the same set of people for a long time. I need to get out of the place and be in another completely different place with different set of people around.

When I was in college, I had my $FC$ friends, fellow bloggers and the E$Q team to distract my mind for a while when my capacity of handling college life reached its max level. But here in Leicester, I hardly have anyone to turn to in that sense. That’s why I was extremely happy when Mr. Tiger dropped me a comment. Rasa mcm alive sikit la hidup. Baru thrill. Poyo la sikit tp betul apa. Heh.. Fortunately mum brought me to Ireland and rescued me from severe depression. Cewah.. But I truly needed that trip and Alhamdulillah, although I really hate to see this moment comes to its end, I’m more than delightful to keep on moving and fight for my dreams.

Actually, I’m still indecisive whether or not to post this entry up but for once, I’m not intending to pretend and lie to myself because this is what I really feel inside. I know it’s quite unfair to say this but if and only if I’ve ever got a chance to choose, I’d rather be in C0rk with lupi and those great people around. I’m a human being and it’s normal to have unlimited desires but I know and I’m aware of the boundaries. I can’t be greedy. I can’t be ungrateful. I can’t be demanding. In fact, everything that I have now is not even mine so yea, I’m more than thankful to be here in Leicester..

I know I’m not a new-year-new-resolutions kind of person. I don’t do resolutions because I have none. But there’s only one thing I really hope I could get a strong grip on for at least one year before I get it renewed next year and that is to have this strong feeling of insights and encouragements and hoping them to last longer than I expected them to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE. May you have a great venture into 2008. Ingatlah satu tahun tu ada 365 hari. Dan satu hari ada 24jam. Tak lebih tak kurang. Jadi, gunakanlah sebaik2nye, ok? ;)

“Yet, realising it to take place at the wrong time means you’re still in the verity of judgment..”

P/S: Kalau tak termuntah gak tgk gmbr yg banyak ni, x taula nak cakap ape.

Brief update from Ireland

Monday 17 Dec - arrived at c0rk at 9.05pm. Lupi rented a car and picked us up at the airport. It was freeeezingly cold that night. Grrrr..

Tuesday 18 Dec - Weather pagi tu sangat best sbb tak sejuk sangat. Bangun lambat sbb masing2 penat travel the day before. Jenjalok kat area Univ College of C0rk. Bangunan2 dia sangat lawa. Med school dia sangat modern. Definitely not like Leicester. Sob2..

Wednesday 19 Dec - Raya haji!!! Smayang raya kat hall apa ntah. Then ada makan2 kat rumah $hid!. He was along ima's collegemate masa A-level kat 0xf0rd. Rumah dia sangat besar dan super best. Makan pun best. Hikhik.. Lpeastu jenjalok kat Kinsale, a very nice fishing village. Sangat lawa and peaceful. Banyak seagull. Kewl gile.. Lepastu bought some groceries kat tesco.

Thursday 20 Dec - Pulled off to Dublin. Lupi yg x pernah2 bawak manual, sangat tabah meng-control stick shift dengan jayanya. Lunch kat rumah fid0 did0, kawan lupi since form 1 kat ST@R sampai la ke KMB. encik peny00 masak sangat best. Lepastu jenjalok kat city centre. Sangat besar dan lawa. Or mungkin aku je yg jakon tgk city yg besar2 ni sbb leicester tu kampung sahaja. Hmm.. Tapi mmg cantik la. Jumpa encik irf@n, my friend masa sekolah rendah! Setelah penat, kembali ke rumah fid0 did0 dan makan dinner plak. Sekali lagi makanan sangat sedap. Lepastu tido tempat n@zi. Seperti biasa beborak dgn n@zi sampai tengah malam. Huhu..

Friday 21 Dec - Breakfast kat rumah kak n0nee and the gang makan nasi lemak. Sangat sedap sehingga tambah sekali lagi. Rumah tu besar dan best. Lepastu kembali ke rumah fid0 did0 utk mengucapkan selamat jalan. Pulang ke c0rk semula dan tiba around 4++pm. Malam tu dinner kat flat encik Kuc@!. Ada kawan Pi ni, doc sy!r@ baru dapat kerja so dia belanja kitorg makan pizza n chinese food yg sangat sedap. Beborak dgn mereka2 semua. Oh ya, encik $h@kur, my senior kat college dulu pun ada. Kawan2 pi yg lain ialah cik lin, encik kuc@! yg sangat pelik dan kelakar, dan encik fred. I was really enjoying myself with them around.

Basically that was it. It may sound "Waaaaah, seronok laaa!" but deep down, I was very very disappointed. Know why? Because I didn't bring my D70s!!!!!!!!!!!! Memang menangis tak berlagu. Kiciwa gile. Haritu la kelam kabut nak pegi train station kat leicester smpai terlupa bawak kekasih hati. Sedih betul. Tapi takpela, Ireland is a very nice place and the people (as in kawan2 lupi) sumenye sangat baik. Datang sini mmg makan adalah satu pekerjaan wajib. Jadi hatiku pun gumbiraaa. Huhu.. Gambar? Hmm.. yg stok2 flickr takdela. Yg gmbr2 pose sume tak upload lagi, maleh :P Nanti2 laa.. Ni nak pergi study jap, ade exam laa bulan depan!!!!! Sob2..

What is it so funny?

I can’t stop myself from smiling. And to be honest, I’m really not sure why.

I missed my lecture this morning. Again. I swear I really wanted to go. I slept late last night just to get my lecture notes edited and printed. And I know immunology is not a subject I could learn by sleeping. I heard my alarm clock gone off one hour before the lecture, hoping I could read through the notes beforehand and didn’t go blur and sleepy in the lecture but my subconscious mind somehow managed to turn it off and all I knew I was still in bed when the hands of my watch pointed at 9 and 6! Ok fine, I missed Dr. H@le$ lecture!! It’s Dr. H@le$ people!! My favourite lecturer!! Ahah..

But I went to the next lecture though. At 11.00pm. And lucky me, it was Dr. H@le$ presented the talk *big smile* He told us about his Greek geeky friends used to call him ‘Ha-les’ [macam pronounce dalam malay] instead of ‘Haels’ and that brought us, the malay students to call him Dr. Kh@lis!! Hah hah.. Sangat cuteee :D Then at 12.30, I got histology practical pulak. And Dr. H@le$ again!! Oh, what a happy day.. I asked him a question about the nervous system and he looked at me with a smile on his face and said very softly and gently “I’m sorry Rushdina, I’m not sure. I really don’t know. Maybe you should ask Dr. X [tak igt nama doc tu. Heh..]..” and I went “Oh, it’s ok doc..” smiling, as wide as I can. Oh, hatiku sangat berbunga2 melihat Dr. H@le$ tersenyum dan menyebut namaku!!!!! Hah hah hah.. And that made me smile.

Ok, cut it off. Forget about Dr. H@le$ and my lameness. I’m a bit mixed up and I need to find a way to entertain myself. Yep, by being lame!! Oh, I’m so pathetic. I know.

Mum, @nid n ic@h are on their way now. I’m going to pick them up at the train station tomorrow. I really forgot that I have a tutorial session with my personal tutor tomorrow but I would no way leave my family waiting at the train station after hours of journey so I’ve emailed my tutor about me not being able to attend the session tomorrow. I’m quite disappointed in a way though, because after all these months and after one semester passes me by, I’ve never met my personal tutor in person. But yea, family comes first :) And I’m really looking forward to meeting them. It just makes me smile..

I just found out that someone is kinda hiding from me. Well, I don’t know how to put it in the right words but I somehow know that this one fella, actually appear offline to me on ym! Hmm.. Adakah aku ni hantu yg akan memakannya hidup2? Mungkin. Adakah aku ni org gila yg akan mengganggu dan menghantui hidupnya? Mungkin. Whatever it is, it’s none of my bizz and why should I care a toss? He/she didn’t cause me any harm, did he/she? But that’s kinda funny. Hehe.. And thinking about me who used to appear offline to this fella, it makes me smile..

Yesterday, I had a Pe0ple and disease seminar. I’m kinda disappointed with myself. I don’t know in what way but I just am. Haih.. And that makes me smile as well.

Then I stumbled upon a blog. A blog. I mean, a blog. Have I said it’s a blog? Yes, it’s a blog. No, there’s nothing so special about it but I knew the blogger. An old man. Hahaha.. No no, I mean, an old friend. It was a very long time ago and I should have abandoned all those not so sweet memories behind. Well not that I didn’t try but I guess I just need something to hammer my head and wake me up in a reality. But it was kinda funny. I don’t know which part but I did laugh you know, so it must be something funny. No, I didn’t leave any footstep or else I’d shoot my head to death. And thinking about all my stupid actions and words and everything, it makes me smile..

Talking about death, I talked to a friend [ex-friend? Is there any such thing?] few days back. He has always wanted to do medicine but he didn’t make through and he’s now doing engineering in somewhere on this globe. I told him; being a doctor is not always something to be happy about. One thing I don’t like about medicine is I’m going to deal with death, like it or not. Well, it’s very important to be a sensitive doctor who could convey their empathy to the patients but it’s not so good to be a VERY sensitive doctor who could easily get emotionally involved with the patients because it would put her out. And inconvenience is not a good thing while working especially when you’re a doctor. This lad told me; “Well, back off and try look back when you first decided to be a doctor. Death is inevitable. It’s not the reason why you can’t be a doctor. You’ve got this chance and you’re not gonna waste it. Think about people like me who’ve worked our ass off to be in your position but didn’t even get a chance..” Yep, he's right. And thinking about the guy, whom I talked about in my previous entry, it makes me smile.. Believe it or not, we had a falling-out later on. Hehe klakar..

I’m sorry with this emotional and crazy entry. You can call me a psycho if you want but I’m really trying here. Winter break is approaching [Yeay!!~] and mum’s coming [double yeay!!!] and my first semester of medicine is ending [yeay yeay yeay!]. I should be happy. I MUST be happy.

Now, I’m smiling again. But this time round, I know why. I just miss my family :)

Flickr.Expl0re used to be my favourite website. It was a must-surf site. I gained a lot of inspiration out of it and always got awestrucked by the pictures. But as of I got my D70s, I started to put it aside and started to indulge myself with my own ideas. But when I came across this photo, I just don't understand why it didn't get put in the Flickr.Expl0re. It's been quite a while since I last put up photo snapped by others. And this one here, is super beautiful. The editing, the angle, the compo, I just LURVEEE it!! Credits go to the photog!! *applause*

Now, everything makes me want to smile now. Don't get me wrong, smiling is a good thing. Not that I hate it, but I'm afraid it means something else. Hah hah.. Ok, I need to stop crapping and get back to my assignment. It's H@dp0p tomorrow! Yeay!!~

O Sun, Where Art Thou?

It’s been raining and cloudy all day. Not seeing the Sun for a day is quite depressing to be honest. But I have to get used to it. People always say, ‘it’s all in your mind. Your mind controls everything.’ Oh well, I’m not quite sure about that but I think it’s true, to some extents. I just don’t think it’s true when this moody weather could actually affect my emotions, no matter how hard I struggled to keep myself ecstatic and joyful because it didn’t quite work.

I have a problem with my accommodation since my sponsor amended their policy on our allowance especially when they abolished the 60:40 policy. Not to be lucky, I was sort of designated to stay in a deluxe room, a more expensive room, even though my application form stated standard room. Have I had no choice, I proceeded with the agreement and I have to pay extra £300+ in total, for 42 weeks (or in easier words, until I finish my first year study) which obviously too much, though I got to enjoy the space and the luxury. So I appealed to get a room transfer, from deluxe to standard room. It has been 3 months since I sent in the form and only to receive the reply from the accommodation office two days ago.

I was quite excited in the first place when I got the email. But I also had the thought of not carrying on the plan at the back of my mind. Ye la, nak kena repack n re-unpack barang, nak kena tukar alamat bank and whatnot, it’s a hell of a job really. But just thinking about the extra money that I have to pay, I compelled myself to go on with the plan. So I viewed the room, and the flat as a whole. The room was ok, just as what I expected though the flat was a tad bising with lagu yg dipasang dgn kuatnye. But the kitchen on the other hand was very disappointing. It was horribly filthy and stank to high heaven. I immediately decided to not move into that misery. Just as I was depressed with my financial state, I don’t think things would be any better if I moved into the room with messy kitchen. So yea, I really need to keep my head above water now. Sigh..

And not enough with that, I have other problems with this one chap pulak. Haih.. no, I’m not intending to mengeluh or mengadu kat sesape so I won’t write anything about it here. But I’m really emotionally affected right now and I can’t think straight anymore. Tadi ada study group and I was supposed to present two topics (G6PD deficiency and PKU) but I was terribly messed up. I didn’t prepare anything until 30 minutes before the session. Teruk gile perangai. I know it was my fault. And I’m really disappointed with myself. Kesian kat diorg td sbb aku mcm gelabah n tahpape je tadi. Haih..

However I’m feeling right now, I just hope things would be gone by tomorrow. I seriously need to study before the break next week. I HAVE TO!~ Bertahan dina!!~ Say NO to distractions! Yeah!~

Dear stranger.. sorry for everything n anything. I was not supposed to take it personally but I couldn’t help it. I was and still am in the middle of recovering from my emotional ailment when you came into scene. So it was quite hard for me to pretend like nothing happened. I PROMISE you I would find my bearings and get my head straight and I hope the same thing in return. I hope everything ends here and things would go back to normal. No hard feelings, ok? I'm so sorry..

The World Is Shrinking! II

The world is shrinking yet even more!! Huhu..

I don’t want to sound so jakun but I can’t help it! Hehe.. Let me give another list..

• The other day during the N0tt$ games, on the bus, on my way back from P0wer Le@gue to Sports Centre, I stumbled upon a girl named H@n@. She’s now studying in Kings C0llege in L0nd0n. I browsed his friendster just now and I was quite surprised to see her primary photo with h@di!! H@di is Lupi’s friend since forever [kawan dari kecik la, dulu h@di ni kawan F@rh@n, my kazen, kat JB dulu..], and only to find out that H@di is actually H@n@’s cousin. Hmm.. Pastu some of her friends are my college friends as well like m3k n sh@t. Tapi tu tak kisah la sbb mmg ramai gile pun dak2 kolej kat L0nd0n.


• BUT.. I accidentally figured out that H@n@ is a friend of T@ufiq as well! Huhu.. T@ufiq is my flickr friend je la, takde la close pun but still la kan..


• And.. One of H@n@’s friends, F@zri1, who was once in my college before he moved to KTJ, is actually a friend of @ni$i$m!! And @ni$i$m is one of my social contacts from $FC$!!!


• Ada sorg kawan N@i1i ni, nama dia Ry3, a freelance photographer as well. I just found out that Ry3 is actually N@dy@’s cousin [kalau bukan kazen pun sedara mara la]!! Kisah N@dy@ ni pun complicated sket. Basically the network goes like this: Me - miru1 - MM - TT - N@dy@. Haaa kecik tak kecik dunia ni! Huhu.. Tapi tak tekejut sgt la sbb miru1 n MM n TT n N@dy@ tu famous bloggers so mmg byk network pon. N@dy@ ni jugak lah yg banyak ajar aku pasal photography senornye.
  

Hmm.. Amazing race btol..

Anyways, to T0k rim@u yg kewl sentiasa, thanx for picking this site as 'blog of the day' couple of days ago. I'm honoured, really =) I'm not sure which part that really excited me but I somehow felt like being at home, reading @KB. Hehe.. Nak suruh Mum bawak laa buku tu. Heh.. Rindu pulak nak baca entry2 pak rimau n pak naga. Haih..

Cues oh cues..

Ok, enough of the fantasy. Let's get back to reality, shall we?

Just now I had my second c0mmunic@ti0n skill seminar and just like the previous one, we touched about picking up patients' cues particularly the verbal ones. At first, I had a little bit confusion about verbal cues. I mean, it's easy to define non-verbal cues like eye contact, facial expression, body language yada yada yada but how do you actually detect verbal cues?

It took me quite a while to get my head round this. The only thing that could help is by being an active listener. And I tell you, it's not as easy as it sounds. I thought all this while I'm a good listener. Yea, talking about perasan, I can be perasan at times. Anyways, maybe you think 'ahha, it's not that hard to be a good listener. Just maintain the eye contact and do some noddings to show that you understand..'. Well, it doesn't quite so. The main important thing in being an active listener is to FOCUS on what the patient has to say and by that I mean no distraction whatsoever through out the conversation!

Ok, you might think 'Err ok. Just focus.. and.. that's it..?'. Well yea, basically that's about it. But once you're in the conversation, it's very hard to stay in focus, to be honest. I mean, every single word that come out of the patient's mouth could be verbal cues. It's just up to your judgment on which to pick up. Maybe it's quite hard for me because I've never been taught about verbal cues before but once you're accustomed to it, it shouldn't be a problem.

Few things that I learnt from today's seminar are:

• I'm not actually a good listener *applause* I mean, it's hard actually to be one.
• I'm actually encountering endless list of verbal cues everyday! It's just that it's not a, in my case, medic-patient conversation but still, there are just too many to deal with! Cewah poyo la jugak tapi tu la, tak perasan je selama ni. Hmm..
• Patient ni macam2 ragamnye. Not that I'm not aware of this fact but once you've experienced it yourself, then you really know the true taste of it. And I'm not complaining though. They just need help so I'm here to learn to be a person who can help, insyaAllah.

You know why I'm writing this some sort of reflection stuff every time I underwent a seminar or a medical programme or anything? These people believe that by doing some reflections, you'll learn more about it, whether you realise it or not. Mula2 aku macam malas sket nak buat reflection2 ni sbb malas nak kena ada reflection diary lah ape lah, but come to think of it, it really does help! Macam muhasabah diri la kan. And I don't actually need a diary, blog sudah mencukupi. Huhu..

And.. it doesn't need to be lengthy and draggy so yea, I'll stop here. Have a nice evening people! :D

I've always loved sky. Because it reminds me a lot of things. It represents the true meaning of freedom. And it's incomparably beautiful. Because the Creator behind it, is The Most Magnificent of all :)

Smiling makes you feel good :)

=) =) =)

Last night I couldn’t close my eyes even I was soo sleepy and tired. Now, I can’t stop from smiling. Tak pasti kenapa rasa nak senyum sentiasa. Nak kata happy, xdela sangat sbb petang ni ade c0mmunicati0n skill seminar tapi... ntahla. Heh..

He always surprises me with unexpected things. He still has the element of ‘uniqueness’ in him. Well, I honestly didn’t know him inside out so can’t really tell much about it. Although it was quite brief, it went so monotonously, smooth and clean. Not that we used to talk dirty or anything but ‘clean’ in a sense of no falling-outs, no hard feelings whatsoever. Though, he didn’t have any introduction like ‘salam’ or ‘hello’ or ‘hai’ or anything. That makes me laugh somehow. Huhu..

Yep, we finally talked. After more than 3 years now, I’m glad that he could still accept me as his friend.

Just in case if you happened to read this h@fiz, good luck with your interview tomorrow! Selamat bertugas sebagai seorg junior doctor yg berjaya! =) =)

Of missing my bro.. Sob2..

• The moment at the airport when I was about to depart to Langkawi, Lupi hugged me and said “I love you dina. I know you will make Mum and Dad proud”.


• During his SPM results announcement day, my mind did not seem to focus on my studies for the whole day. I skipped my lunch after class and ran straight to my room and quickly grabbed my phone and called Dad. And when Dad said “Alhamdulillah nak, Lupi dpt straight A1”, I could not stop myself from sobbing. I cried and cried, and missed him very much. I sms-ed him immediately “Lupi, congrats for the excellent result. I’m very happy for you” and he replied “Thanx na, sayang kau..”


• Time flies. When I got the offer to go to KYU3M, he told me to use the opportunity as best as I could. “Aku dulu teringin sangat nak pergi sana, tapi dapat KMB nak wat camne. Tapi aku happy ah ko dpt pegi lembah bringin”.


• “I just want you to do well. And I want you to be better.”
  

Yesterday, when I saw him from afar, I beamed with delight, explaining how happy I was to see him. Not that we haven’t met for years or anything but knowing that even I’m here, being away from family in Malaysia, I still have Lupi to look after me. He looked good, as usual. I had so many things in head to tell him but since Lupi and I were playing for football n netball respectively, we didn’t have so much time to catch up on each other. Let alone the football field was quite far from the netball court.

My game yesterday was not that bad though there were some dissatisfaction made by the host but we played very well. Out of 5 games, we only won one game and supposedly drew 3 games [tapi referee tu mcm bengong sket kata kitorg kalah satu game] and lost to n0tt$ in one game. So we didn’t manage to go to the next level. It’s been like that for Leicester ever since so no biggy. Heh.. So after I was done with my game, I took a bus to go to P0w3r Le@gu3 to see Lupi’s game pulak.

Because his team was doing very well, they got to play in several matches. By the time I got to the field, his team was playing against W@rwick. Since they won that match, they were qualified to enter the semi-final. It was almost 330pm and my bus to Leicester was at 5.00 so I had to rush back before I got left by the bus. I knew I wouldn’t be able to lepak2 with him so I said to him I have to go.

“Ko nak balik dah? Sedihnyaaa. Kata nak chill2..”
“Bas pkl 5 laa. Takut tak sempat..”
“Alaa awalnyaa..”
“Takpela, lenkali boleh chill2 lagi. Pi datang la Leicester..”
“Aku maybe x sempat nak datang Leicester kot na. Lepas habis game semua ni aku terus balik London. Esok balik cork trus. Aku ada exam x lama lagi..”
“Ok takpe. Nanti jumpa la kat cork dgn Mum anid n icah..”
“Ok, ko belajar elok2..”

I salam-ed his hand. And he hugged me and stroked my head.

“Ko jaga diri baik2 k.”

All this while, we rarely spent time together, you know, brother-sister relationship. He prefers to talk to @nid rather than me about just anything. They play badminton together, he teaches @nid how to play guitar, and he tells @nid about his girlfriend. Well, I don’t really mind because I know @nid does the job better than me and I’m used to it. Even I myself tell @nid stuff and not him. But since God-knows-when, things have somehow changed. I’m not complaining but as I’ve said before, it makes me feel somewhat different. And it’s something good to be felt.

I’ve never believed in horoscopes or those Chinese beliefs about date of births or anything but I somehow can tell that there are actually some similarities between me n Lupi. Yep, we were born on the same date and we’ve been celebrating our birthday together e.v.e.r.y.s.i.n.g.l.e.y.e.a.r and we even look quite alike [masa n0tt$ game, kak f@tin tanye kak @m@ni, ‘eh siapa budak lelaki tu? Muka dia sebijik mcm dina’ sambil menunjuk ke arah lupi. Huhu..], we both are very egoistic [mum kata Lupi ckp aku x penah nak call dia kat skype. Pastu mum suruh aku call Lupi sekali sekala. Aku mcm tertanya2, kenapa aku yg kena call dia n bukan dia yg call aku? And until now, we never speak to each other via skype. Kuangkuang..], we both are very sensitive inside [Lupi actually is a very soft-hearted person. He was the first to cry at the airport before anybody else during his departure to C0rk two years ago. At least I wept after Mum did!! Hehe..] and so many other things but we’ve never seemed to be close. We've never had good memories together. Perhaps words are not always necessary in our relationship because we both just know what is there.

Now, I’m missing him already. And I’m very disappointed for not having the time to chat n chill2 with him :( What even makes me feel worse is, Mum is now in Sydney, having a seminar and she’ll be back on the 7th. Tak boleh nak skype2 lagi for the time being. Sob2.. And as a result of that, I’m in no mood to do anything. Sigh..

This is just a random shot of Qu33n M@ry football team. Good looking jugak mamat tengah2 ni. Hah hah hah..