The Arrival of MARESMAWIANS

Here comes..*drumrolll*..The delegation from Langkawi.

Yesterday was the night of celebration for us, students from MRSM all over Malaysia. We, on behalf of another thousands of MARA students came along to celebrate the triumph that MARA has achieved together with several VIPs; YB Dato Khamsiyah Yeop the Deputy Minister of Pembangunan Usahawan dan Koperasi, Dato' Zamani the Ketua Pengarah of MARA, Chairman of MARA and so forth.

Nothing much to be said though.The food was yummy, the orchestra performance was fine, the speech was ok (except for the speech from Beseri student. Haha..) and the photographic session was splendid!!

Again, congratulations to all Maresmawians for the excellent achievement. And to all maresmawian candidates of SPM 05, maintain our name and go snatch victory from the jaws of defeat!! Kalahkan Beseri wei..Haha..

M.C.R in memory. .

Just thought by strolling down memory lane would shun me from thinking something I dont like. It will definitely live in the memory. .

Errmm..kat mane ntah ni..Lupe..Heh..but somewhere in town laa. Huhu..

At the Cheshire Oak. I was actually thinking about a Kickers bag but it's darn too expensive..*sob sob*

Just check out myphotoalbum for more kewl photos =)

h.a.i.h...w.h.a.t.a.l.i.f.e...

Shoot!!! I did pretty bad today. I usually do 3 to 5 laps in a row but what I did today was not even quarter of a lap!! Pathetic. I dont even want to think how far the gap is between doing 5 laps non-stop with just not-even-reached-a-quarter lap while gasping for air like hell. Hahaha..It wasnt because of crowd. The pool is kinda stark because gradually the sky was getting darker indicated that rain would fall like anytime so people started to leave while I just put my legs into that pool. Hehe..Didnt plan for a go actually but since I havent gone for a swim for quite several days so, just thought I would be better after be in the pool for a while. Things are not going very well lately. And what I can do is just get myself calmed; which I already did. I'm still not satisfied with the number of laps that I did for today. Ayayayy!

Anyway, like Ive just said, things are not working out good. Mum was just admitted to hospital due to some problems which I'm not really clear about and the doctor said that Mum has got to have an opration in order to get rid of that 'thing'. Everything happened without any sign and they just..ZOOOM!! Speeding without giving us any chance to get them fixed and all we can do is just witness them helplessly.

Well actually Mum is feeling not very well lately, always got a headache and stuff so the best thing to do is go to see the doctor and get any necessary medication. So Mum did what she supposed to do but she never thought it would end up this way. Well, everyhing happens with a reason rite? Fortunately, Mum is getting better and better so she managed to check out the ward.

Accompanying Mum was the least thing I could do anyhow. It wasnt that bad though. That Sutera Ward is quite a big room, well-equipped with a tv set and a two-person settee and of course a bed for the patient. I didnt do much actually since Mum slept and got her rest for the whole night while I was messaging and talked craps with Afar (which I do most of the time.Heheh..).

I tell you what, since I was a kid, I've always felt that hospital will be the only place I would settle up in for the entire days of my life. You see, I've been visiting HUKM since I was in the third form for so much reasons; got a dental appointment with Dr. Asiah, got an appointment with Dr. so-and-so for my SEM project, accompanied Along Ima during her delivery and a few other things that I couldnt recall. I triumphantly have memorized the location of all the wards and departments, the location of the cafeteria, where the toilets are, where the surau is, where the escalators and pharmacies are and the list goes on.

And..I used to accompany Along Ima during her housemanship in UH back before she got transfered to Putrajaya and I've seen a lot of situations with my own eyes. To be frank, I do like to be there, seeing the real situation in a hospital; how the doctors treat their patients, seeing so many conditions of people. I juz can feel that somehow my instinct tells me that I'm gonna be someone who later on will be living in hospital like everyday. Perhaps as a doctor, just like what I've always wished to be.Or maybe as a MA?? Hahah..

Owh ooowh, talking about MA, I've seen this one gorgeous and macho and gagah perkase MA at HUKM yesterday. I wonder why that macho man decided to be an MA when he actually could get the opportunity to be ..I dunno. Perhaps a steward or model or whatever. Hahah..

Anyhow, last week was quite a hectic week for me. I spent like everyday to-ing and fro-ing from Bangi to KL to Damansara to Cheras to Bangsar and bla bla. Just imagine how much fuel had been wasted just to get the perfect things for the party like helium gas for the balloons, goodies for kids and all those wall hangings. It's like 'kene ke??' Haha.. Ok ok, just give a chance for that lil kiddo laa..Heh..Well, Along Ima was quite excited to celebrate his son's 1st brithday, of course. So, here I got several pictures of Nazme's birthday party the other day.

Birthday boy =)

Angah Aya n me =)

I think spongebob might be more cute and suits quite well with Nazme. Hehe..

That's me with Nazme and cute Little Zarif =)

I'll put more pictures in my photo album later. It's already 2 a.m. Should get my rest. Till then..

He Will Always Be There For Us

Once I read the letter, I couldnt help myself from shed a tear. After all, it's all how I supposed to feel.

Letter to the Lord
By Hesham Hassaballa

Most Magnificent Lord and Creator:

All praise and thanks is due to thee, O Lord, the Light of Whose Countenance illuminates the heavens and the earth. All praise and thanks is due to thee, O Lord, Who created everything out of nothing, and Who created me, even though You did not need me. Lord, I know that You know everything that is within me, yet I do not know all that is within You. Yet, it helps me to "write" You a letter, and so I ask Your merciful indulgence as I write this to You.

Lord, how can I face Your Magnificent Presence? Every day, the weakness of the human condition overtakes me, and I fall short of the standards You called me to uphold. How can I face Your Magnificent Presence? You have given me so much, yet so many times, I have sinned against You. How can I face Your Magnificent Presence? When I think about all the bounties, and blessings, and mercy You have showered upon me, I am strengthened and inspired to rise above the flesh that so often drags me to this earth. Yet, when I am alone - faced with my demons in the darkness - I frequently fall short of Your Grace. Lord, I don't know how I could face Your Magnificent Presence.

Yet, You are still here for me, Lord. In fact, You have always been there for me, Lord. When I was growing up, my mother tried to instill fear of You in me, and it worked. Yet, the image I conjured up of You - and I ask Your forgiveness - is that of a God waiting for me to fall, so that He can slap me down in punishment. I know that is not You, Lord. I know You are more Loving, and Kind, and Merciful, and Gentle than that. I know this now, but when I did not know this then, still You were there for me.

When I struggled as a teenager to be true to You, and suffering painful and lonely isolation for that fidelity, You were there for me. When I was ridiculed by my peers for staying true to Your Way, You were there for me. You helped soothe me when I hurt so much. When I went to college, and I doubted the truth of the message of Your Noble Prophet, You did not cast me down. You did not turn me away; You were there for me. When I suffered through the depths of darkness and solitude, You were there for me. Even when I flirted with leaving the faith, and calling upon someone else besides You, Magnificent Lord, You were there for me.

When I returned to Your Straight Path and rededicated my life to the worship of You, I became an ugly person, devoid of compassion, devoid of humility. I looked down upon those who did not fit my standard of piety, even though the only One who should look down is You, O Lord. I made forbidden what You made lawful, O Lord. I pushed people away from Your Path, Lord God, and gave them an ugly face at which to look at Your faith. I was arrogant, O Lord; I was intolerant, O Lord; I was narrow-minded, O Lord. Quite simply, O Lord, I was a fool. Yet, You were there for me. You still were there for me.

You have always been there for me, O Lord, and I thank You from the bottom of my heart. And I ask for Your Soothing Mercy. I ask for the Mercy from which Prophet Jacob (peace be upon him) told his sons never to despair. I beg for Your forgiveness, O Lord. I have fallen off your path more times than I want to count, O Lord, and You know about every single time. I am so sorry, O Lord. More times than I want to count, O Lord, I have forgotten that - when no other eyes are upon me - Your Magnificent Eyes are watching me. Lord God, I am so sorry. Forgive me, O Lord.

I need Your Mercy more than ever. Lord, I need to be enveloped in Your Soothing Grace. My God, please don't cut me off. Please forgive my trespasses against Thee. Please overlook my shortcomings. Please pardon my human weaknesses. My God, don't cut me off. For if You were to cut me off, then where would I go, O Lord? What would I do, O Lord? How could I live, O Lord, without the Light of Your Countenance illuminating my dark and hard heart? Lord, don't cut me off! Please, Lord, take me in, even though I have estranged myself from you so many times with my sins.

Lord, I love You with all my heart, all my mind, all my soul. Lord, I ask for Your Love for me. My Most Holy Creator, on the Day when we all will meet You, let me into Your Magnificent and Holy Presence. Let me be with Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Let me be his neighbor in Paradise. Let me be able to talk to him there, tell him about my life, and listen to him about his. Lord God, let me see Your Glorious Face in the highest of Gardens. Let me into Your Presence by Your Wonderful, Gentle, and Soothing Grace. Lord God, I thank you for all You have given me, and I ask You to forgive me for never being a fully grateful servant. In Your Most Holy Name, O Lord, I ask all of these things. Amen.

Hesham A. Hassaballa is a Pulmonary and Critical Care physician currently practicing in the greater Chicago area. He has written extensively on a freelance basis, and his commentaries have been published in BeliefNet, the Chicago Tribune as well as other media around the country and around the world. He is the co-author of the forthcoming book, The Beliefnet Guide to Islam, to be pubished by Doubleday. In addition to writing, Dr. Hassaballa helped found the Chicago chapter of the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) and is co-chair of the Media Relations Committee of the Council of Islamic Organizations of Greater Chicago. Make sure to visit Hesham;s blog at hassaballa.org.

This item is located at:http://www.muslimwakeup.com/main/archives/2005/03/letter_to_the_l.php

Copyright © 2003-2005 Muslim WakeUp! Inc.The World's Most Popular Muslim Online Magazinehttp://muslimwakeup.comEmail: info@muslimwakeup.com

Thanx Dr. Mirul.

hApPy hApPy hApPy!

Fuh, at last.. After I've been trying sooo hard to put those links down there with colourful banners and that stupid-yet-amusing photo of polar bear or whatever and there...the 'comel-dina' up there. Hehe.. I finally put them on.. Triumphantly!

Ok, I'm hyped up and yea, of course you can say "Ek'eleh..baru buat tu pon nak kecoh!" or "Laaa..tu pon x tau nak buat??". I dont mind. Because I'm happy! *big grinss* Shoot yourself in the foot!

Well, still got loads of other things to learn especially those related with html thingy and stuff. Hey, I'm surprisingly enjoying this job man!! =)

The Actual Thing

Check some of the following basic non-verbal cues and you'll recognize that you already speak and translate much of the language. I got this from the internet and the un-italic phrase is what they think the person want to say. But I think I have my own interpretations. And I was wondering, how do people act if they wanna say "Hey engkau, engkau sungguh menjengkelkan.." Urggh..That sounds bad, Dina. Heh..

"Well, I'm Shocked!" Does that how she supposed to look like? I'd rather say "Oh my God, how stupid I can get!?" or "Oh no...I'm soo ugly!" Haha..

"I'm Surprised!" Hmm..Klakanye muke dia tekejut.Heh..

"All right!" Well,you can say that the dude's way happy eventho his fist is clenched. A fake smile eh? Hah..

"I dont know why I even bother going out with you!" And the man was like "Yea yea, whatever you say honey.." Haha..Tak gune punye laki.

"You're wrong!" "No, you're wrong!" Haha..Ade ke gadoh camtu. With pinky background. Macam nak buat videoclip je.Tahpape..

"Bummed" Hmm..He looks like a sleepwalker. Mamai kot..Heheh..

Mother:Listen up!

Daughter:Lemme outta here! No comment. I sometimes act the same way. Hehe..

Not having the foggiest idea. I'm dead!

I couldnt sleep last night. And the annoying part was I didnt even think about anything!! Well I'm not that sure but as far as I know, nothing important (or not important) loitered around my head!! Haih, just like I said, ed, I'm suffering from blackouts!!!! Hahaha..Or am I having an amnesia?? Oh no, I'm driven to craziness!! Ok, stop merepeking.

My daily routine is back to normal *sigh*: Send anid to shcool, fetch her up from school, send her back for the netball training and bla bla bla. . . Ho-hummmmmmm [Thirah, thanx for reminding me anyway =P]

Anyhow, I dont really know what to write actually. Wani just brought up an interesting topic about 'understanding'. And I've given my opinion about it already so, am not planning to discuss about it anyway. But I'm stating here, please be an understanding person so that people would happily been relied on you *smirks with an innocent face*

Just thought of setting everything aside. . . From my friends (hands up,Dina!!!!! You're caught red-handed for being s.o.o.o.o boorish!!) and all those craps to bothering about my interview for the scholarship. Hahah..Not even sure whether I'm chosen for the interview. Poyo ah dina. Hehe..This is what I hate, recalling myself about how many hustlers out there, competing amongst themselves, and I'm here. . .Unsure. . .

I dont think I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to these stuvs; getting good grades in exams, getting a scholarship and whatnots. It's just the feeling of diffident within myself that forms up the nervousness and that terrible butterflies. And when it reaches the stage of controlling and holding me back, then I'll fall in a heap.

And putting my friends aside??. . . No no, it was just a typing error, mankind mistake *stares with a blameless looks* But..I think I dont need that bunch of friends laa. Pening pale pikir. Heh. . I need my own space!!

Ok, so the bottom line is, I'm craping out and I've really run out of ideas. Damn! Should go and get my hot shower now. . Need to freshen up myself. Till then. . .

A Contemplating Session

I've just deleted one of my favourite blogs from my bookmarks just now. She's decided to stop blogging and it partially discourages me though. Hmm.. The other day, that Mr.Anonymous who've been writing about the bitchy flatmate posted the final entry. And the next day, my another favourite blog has been concluded.

Haih, wut's up people?? You dont have to update your blog every single day right? It's just for the sake of fun. People might be interested to read something different. And the blogs that I've been reading are really the amusing and relishable ones. I myself not really sure how far I can go with this blog. Maybe just for a couple of months. Or perhaps another several weeks or days. Or maybe it ends here??? Ermm..Not yet I guess. It's ok. I'll keep blogging as posibble as I can.

Anyhow, Aimran called me up yesterday. I was quite shocked by the buzz anyway. I know that he's gonna be around in Malaysia for this period of time but never expected his call that soon. We talked a lot. Mostly about his new car and what he does nowadays in France. And he's actually flying to Sydney this morning. And later will be gone to New York and Monaco and bla and bla. You travel a lot man!!

For the first time of my life, I do actually have a friend with a huge aim and target for his future life. I'm actually not really sure what kind of targets that he aims but I'm pretty sure they are some kinda money making stuff and being somebody great one day. Well, he once told me about building a medical school in northern state of Malaysia. And having a share with Yayasan Al-Bukhary (or perhaps another big company). And he even hopes to beat the most famous and richest French businessman (I keep forgetting his name *lol*). And maybe one day he's gonna flee the country of France?? *awes with blinking eyes* Heh..No no, he said he's not gonna be a politician. They sound quite insane to me or I bet to most of people but they arent to Aimran. He's really the ambitious type of person and I actually am proud of him.

To be frank, it was really a nice chat. He talked about the currency stuff, rate of exchange, convertion of euros to RM, how he manages to survive in that highly civilized and demanding country, how he earns that ammount of money, getting his dream house with a olympic-size-pool (Heheh..) how he manages to get the EU licence ( at least I can get myself prepared to get one one day. Hehehe..) and much more. Somehow I really got myself lost in contemplation. That kind of conversation is what I really need for the time being, to keep my brain works hard on planning my future ahead *sigh* I just cant wait to see him succeed. Because I know he will.

And the best part was when he said: Kalau nak masuk minang orang senang je, bawak briefcase jumpa parents lepastu bukak2 je briefcase ade million dollars. Kalau tak nak, tutup briefcase and babai laa..Hahahaha..And I was like: What??? Tak nak?? *confused* Hehe..

And the other best part was when we chatted about 'Lelaki Berwawasan'. It's just really hard to find an ambitious guy with a well-planned future in head and yes, of course laa baik and ada pegangan agama. I'm not trying to be a perfectionist but I just hardly find one. Ok laa, not to be very demanding, at least I can feel secure if I settle up with him. Hmm.. Ok, let me show you the difference between the one that I answered to Johan (my homeroom brother) and the one that I answered to Aimran. Not to say that Johan is included in the bad group but it just indicates that it was the best answer I could give to different kind of people.

Johan: Dina, ko tanak carik laki ke?
Me: Ish..malassss.

Aimran: Deyna tak ade boyfriend lagi ke?
Me: Hmm tu laa..Bukan taknak carik tapi susah nak carik lelaki yg berwawasan skrg ni. Semuanya tak boleh harap (Hahaha..Anyone get offended? No offence eh! It's just a reality right?)

And I promtply remembered what Kak Ana said the other day: Sekarang ni susah sangat nak carik lelaki yg berwawasan. Bukan tak ada tapi susah sangat laa... Yes, Kak Ana!! You're tottally right!!! *nods vigorously* YES YES.. Heh.. Just like I said, not all guys are slothful and reluctant. Just a few but the ambitious ones are fewer. Haih, kinda tough eh? I'm still young nonetheless so, still have time to look for one *winks*

Ok, I think that is all. Lunch is waiting =)

Funny Cartoons

MEAN birds!!! Hahah..

Hmm.. I wonder if there really is a hustler deer out there..

I think this situation really does happen. Kan Dad kan?? Hehe..

Haha..I think you know which part of this cartoon that crack me up, roy. Haha..

Tag, You're It!

' According to the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary, 'Tag' is defined as a game played by two or more children in which one child chases the others and tries to touch one of them. This child then becomes the one who does the chasing. And 'Tag, you're it!' is what you yell after you have touched those whom you are chasing.

It's not traditionally played by the kids nowadays but when they have reached a situation where they need something different kind of game, this 'Tag' game will get their pick.

"Kriiiiiiiiingg.." the bell rang and it was time to went home. Andrea strolled down the road, tracing her steps back home. Suddenly, Jeremy tapped on her shoulder "Tag, you're it!"

"Hey, that is unfair! I'm the one who should do the chasing.."

"Haha..No, I'm starting the game from the beginning," he grinned.

"No way! Then, you'll be playing on your own!!" she exclaimed. They ambled along the road together.

"Hey, chill mate!." "So, what's your plan during this holidays?" Jeremy tried to engage Andrea in conversation.

Ignoring the question, Andrea's eyes were immediately drawn to a little girl, plopping down on a park bench, all alone. "Jeremy, do you know that girl? She looks blameless. What is her name? I've never seen her around before." Andrea seemed unduly perturbed by that little girl.

"Oh, that's Elizabeth. Yea, she seldom get herself into the crowd. I dont really know about her but I've heard about her mother though. They say that her mother is suffering from a cancer for years. I'm not really sure what type of cancer but the mother's infirm to remain at home. That's why she looks quiet, almost taciturn, young girl."

"Awful.." was the only word whirled through her head.

It was last spring, when Andrea entered her house and her mother promptly leant over to embrace her daughter and said something that would be the last thing in her mind. "Honey..The pain returns. The doctor said I have to restart responding to treatment."

Those were the bittest words she had to swallow. And it hurts. And she had to endure the agony inside. Nothing can describe the torments she went through while waiting for her mother to recover from laukeamia. She thought that her mother would be gone forever. But miracle cured and doctor said her mother could go through the days normally. But that was several years ago...

Her mother was the only friend she had who would always be there for her no matter when, no matter what. But since her mother had to spend most of her time in hospital, she had nobody else to turn to. Her days were not as beautiful as she used to live in. She became quiet at school, her reputation dropped and she gave up in everything she did.

Time flew hastily. Now, Andrea's mother had just recovered for the second time. But that was only for that particular period of time. She never knew what would happen in the days ahead.

Just like usual, she went straight home after her classes. On the way back, she happened on Elizabeth.

"Hey, are you Elizabeth?" Andrea tried to break the ice.

"Err..Yea.." She stuttered. She didnt seem like enjoying new companion.

"Errmm..If you want to tell me anything, feel free to do so. I've heard about your mother from Jeremy. I hope she's doing better now. I know how you feel. My mother used to suffer from leukeamia years ago. But she's okay now.". . . Elizabeth didnt give any respond.

"Err..do you want to play tag?" Andrea asked without any good reason. Still, Elizabeth didnt seem to get herself into the conversation.

"My mother died last spring. I have always known that she deserves to be somewhere else where she can live life happily." Elizabeth finally spoke up. Her eyes gleamed with tears. She looked down and started to walk away.

That was very dismal. Andrea had always knew that the bereaved always live in this vale of tears. When she started to retrace her steps, she suddenly felt somebody tapped her on the shoulder.

"Tag, you're it!" and that was the first time Andrea saw she smiled....'

And the story ends. Hehe.. That was what I wrote for my triple-one-nine and Alhamdulillah, those people repaid it as an acknowledgement.

[Athirah, ni dah di'edit' berjuta kali sbb terlupa jln cite cam ne. Heheh.. Plus minus ah.. Heh..]

[Abg Lan, I've read your profile in e-sastera. And I'm verrrry proud of you =) Keep up the good work!]

Here We Go!

Being grateful for what we achieved. The first row from left is azhreen, aimi, fehy and tasy. The second row from left is izzni, izy, nazi, dina, syira, sharehan and hanim. At the back is yah and esah (???) Hehe.. For more photos, click here.

My Own Acknowledgement

Finally...

After all those exertions and struggles attempted, I ultimately got what I've been dreaming of all this while. 'When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace'. I tried to acclimatise myself to the words but conversely I found that waiting is actually quite suffering. I couldnt sleep for days, thinking about what I'm gonna get for my result, what people would say about it, how my parents would feel, what I'm gonna face the future ahead and e.v.e.r.y.s.i.n.g.l.e.t.h.i.n.g.s. But alhamdulillah, everything turned out surpassing.

Through all those years in Langkawi, I kept praying to God, to give me a chance to get 4.0 for my GPA at least for once. I prayed to God to give me a chance to get honored for anything I did for my college. I prayed to God to be the best student. I prayed to God to be awarded for any conferrals. But I didnt get what I want.

I neither deplored nor weeped over for I what I got. I somehow knew that one day, God will fulfil my wish list. "Allah answers prayers in 3 ways..He says YES & GIVES you what you want. He says NO & GIVES you something BETTER. He says WAIT & GIVES you THE BEST in His own time." Those are what I bare in mind eternally.

As the denouement, I happened to learn something new about life and after all. . . It is just the beginning of everything. . .

Thanx to Mum and Dad, family, teachers and all my friends for the support and encouragement. The triumph is all ours. . .

A Stupid Twit (UPDATED)

I'm going to make you feel,
All the pain you put me through,
When I put my,
Knife into you.

I know the only time,
I will ever suceed,
Is when I cut your throat,
And watch you bleed.

I'll feel better when,
I hear you scream and cry,
While I tie you up,
And burn you alive.

Ok, now you really piss me off. So, can I see you bleed again? What? For the fourth time? Ah wait..is it for the fifth? Hahaha..

I'm laughing..Not because I'm crazy or nut but I'm happy..To see you bleed again.I know you will..

You think you're cool, but you're a loser. You think you're good enough to exact a revenge on me, but you're not. You think you can see me bleed, but no, I dont even bleed!! See! Wham! You're hitting back yourself! Haha..

Please..please..and please get rid of yourself from this world. You're no longer the person I used to know so, stop pretending.

I'm not trying to be offensive and rude but I am now because of you. You're such a sleazy jerk!

Enough is enough. . . I'm D.O.N.E. .

UPDATED: Sorry Hafiz.. I shouldnt have said that.. You deserve everything you have now.. Dont worry.. I wont ever touch your account again.. And I'll let everything go.. Let they waft away... May God bless you =)

Have You Ever..?

• Have you ever gone to some places that you've been dying to stand on eversince you saw the light of the day that makes you hate to be where you supposed to be?
• Have you ever loved somebody wholeheartedly that makes you tell a lie for her/his own sake but everything didnt come out right and both of you have to live separate lives?
• Have you ever lost a great friend who has known you better than yourself that makes you cry day and night and nobody can ever replace her/his place in your heart?
• Have you ever wanted something so bad but there's no way you can ever reach it that drives you deranged?
• Have you ever fallen in love for the first time with your bosom buddy that makes you cant sleep at night because you are kinda sure that she/he feels the same thing but at the end of the day she/he is with somebody else?
• Have you ever been in a situation where a doctor is saying something to the patient "I'm sorry. You have a brain cancer (or whatnot) and you will be living for just another couples of months" that makes you feel terribly touched?
  
• Have you ever poured scorn on somebody whom you abominate and for the outcome, you cant even live without her/him?
• Have you ever done something damnable and erring unpurposely to somebody that makes you keep asking for her/his apologise but all she/he does is blaming and condemning you?
• Have you ever been in the sweetest dream you have ever had that makes you loath to be awaked?
• Have you ever got a surprise or a gift from somebody whom you have a crush on that makes you smiling for the whole day but at the end of the day you ferret out that it was a mistake?

Partially, I have and only God knows the agony endured. But I never regret for the things that I have done. And I'm proud of myself =)

Anyhow, I'm flying to Langkawi this Wednesday. So, do pray for me and I do really hope to bring home something that can make my family proud. Yet, I havnt experienced this one.

I'm flying...higher..and higher..and higher.....

The WORDS

"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief" (94:5) -Ash-Sharh (The Opening Forth)

"And know that among you is Allah's Messenger; were he, in many matters, to follow your (wishes), ye would certainly fall into misfortune. But Allah has endeared the Faith to you, and has made it beautiful in your hearts, and He has made hateful to you Unbelief, wickedness, and rebellion; such indeed are those who walk in righteousness;-" (49:7) -Al-Hujurat (The Dwellings)

"Those who believe, and work righteousness,- their Lord will guide them because of their faith: beneath them will flow rivers in gardens of bliss." (10:9) -An-Nasr (The Help)

"No soul can believe, except by the will of Allah, and He will place doubt (or obscurity) on those who will not understand." (10:100) -An-Nasr (The Help)

"When some trouble toucheth man, he crieth unto his Lord, turning to Him in repentance: but when He bestoweth a favour upon him as from Himself, (man) doth forget what he cried and prayed for before, and he doth set up rivals unto Allah, thus misleading others from Allah's Path. Say, "Enjoy thy blasphemy for a little while: verily thou art (one) of the Companions of the Fire!" -Az-Zumar (The Groups)

"Now, when trouble touches man, he cries to Us: But when We bestow a favour upon him as from Ourselves, he says, "This has been given to me because of a certain knowledge (I have)!" Nay, but this is but a trial, but most of them understand not!" (39:49) -Az-Zumar (The Groups)

"Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of Allah." Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!" (2:214) -Al-Baqara (The Cow)

"We said: "Get ye down all from here; and if, as is sure, there comes to you Guidance from me, whosoever follows My guidance, on them shall be no fear, nor shall they griev." (2:38) -Al-Baqara (The Cow)

Thanx a lot, Dad..

Somebody..

It was a bad night. I couldnt sleep until 3 am even after been forced. I closed my eyes tight until they were tired enough. And that was already in the wee hour of morning. I dont know. Too much things wandering around my mind.

At that particular moment, what I really scared of was thinking about my result. Perhaps, people have put their high hopes and expactations on me and that makes me more dwelled on.

Somehow, I was pulled into a ruminating and lost in a reverie of somebody. I've known him like four or five years back (cant really recall). We were quite close back then but things didnt go in our own way so we lost contact like several years and now, we just keep up with each other's updates via the internet and the blogs.

When I feel like I am a total failure and lost in my sinful world, I keep praying to God, to meet me with somebody who can at least remind me of the reality; being a slave to God. Somebody who can at least guide me in any way possible. Somebody who can at least put a tad of hope in me to go on with this life. Somebody who can at least trust in me. Somebody who can at least makes me to get a grip on myself. Somebody who can at least acquaint me with religious consciousness. And I thank to God for giving me the chance to know him.

Throughout the night, I thought of this person. And when I woke up this morning, I got a new email from blogger.com. "Somebody must have given a comment on my blog." And there, his name stated vividly within my sight.

Thanx bro Amir Mukhriz. May God bless you through all the years.

It's All About Him

Here's the new version of Nazme. Just got his new haircut done by his baba. And then atok Dad repaired it and now he looks better than before. Hehe.. Just ignore the date stated there.This was taken last night :-) Click the image for more photos.

Being Desirous

I've stumbled upon another blog yesterday. A nice one with pictures taken from the lab with companions around and pictures taken with cadavers. I looooove it especially when it comes to medical study =)

I did get off to a very good start this morning; I went to mum's office and help her out calculated her students' exam marks. After have put my brain in a long rest, I finally woke it up and push it off to start working. I still couldnt accept myself miscalculated the equivalent of 5 + 7? Just imagine how lame can it be *slapping my forehead*

And then I went along to Mum's cousin's house in Ampang with Along Ima and Mum. She has just got a preemie two and a half months ago so in the manner of being airish, we went to visit her. And..they strucked up an interesting conversation mainly about medical stuff like further studies in Master and after that settle down as specialist. Somehow that sort of conversation makes me started to congitate about my future life. One thing for sure; it must be a loooong struggle *sigh*

Anyhow, anid messed my day up. She keeps ordering me to drop her off for her netball practice and then I gotta fetch her in the evening. "Make sure ko dtg ambik pkl 1.10 pastu hantar aku balik pkl 3.30. Dah habis netball nanti ambik aku balik kol 6.30". What the hell, I'm not her driver for God's sake!! And I hate the way she orders me as though she's the boss and I'm the chauffeur. Whatever.. She sometimes really annoys to hell out of me.

Sometimes, when I'm all alone, I feel like starting my life again. I need some space for myself. I want new friends who'll always be there for me. I need to be myself with my loved ones around me. And I need a new life! And these are what I really want for the time being. Alas, people dont always get what they want. Here goes the list and the reasons;

• Taking a drive along a pretty road (Roads in Bangi are not pretty enough *smirks* especially the one that I've been driving along to Anid's schoooool!!)
• Lying in bed listening to the rain outside (My aircond in the room is deafening! Should ask Dad to send it in for service)
  
• Hot towels fresh out of the dryer just after my shower (I dont have any dryer..)
• A leisurely hot bath (People keep knocking on the door "Sape kat dalam!! Cepat sikit!" and I'll get distracted)
• Laughing at myself (What would they think if I do so??)
• Midnight phone calls from my loved ones that last for hours (Dont have any boyfriend. Sya is in Ipoh..Roy and Im are million miles away. Afar lost his hp and even if he got one, he wont even talk for an hour! Heheh..Lawak je afar =P)
• Laughing for absolutely no reason at all (Hmm..What say u??)
• Spending time with my old friends (I dont know whether they are still alive or not. Plus, several of them are already gone to college and we lost contact)
• Sweet dreams (I cant predict what my next dream would be but yesterday, I had a nightmare. You know why? Because I dreamt of 'the stranger')
• Swinging on swings (My swing at home is pethatically damaged. Heh..)
• Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day (Everytime I wake up, anid's voice will penetrate my brain!!!! "Dina hantar aku pergi sekolah"..Waaaarrrghh!!)
• Possessing a z4 and getting ready to win the car race with Afar. Hehehe (Duh!!~It's like spending my whole life for a million dollar z4 and...tak sampai hati tgk afar kalah. Hahahahaha..)
• Being a millionaire (I think you know the reason)

Ok. That's enough. I think I need my rest.