Daddy cookie

“I was doing my add maths assignment in my room when suddenly an announcement came out from the PA system. “Kepada Rushdina, sila turun ke pondok jaga sekarang kerana waris anda sedang menunggu”. I smiled and immediately changed my clothes. I kept the books in the bag and drag it along with me to the guardhouse. Upon reaching the guardhouse, I could see Anid waving her hand from afar. My parents and sisters visited me at Langkawi before they left for Manchester in two days’ time. That night, we stayed at Berjaya. And that night would always be seen as the unforgettable page in the history of my life.

My eyes were closed. My body was laid comfortably on the bed as if I was having a deep nice dream. But no, I was not dreaming. I was thinking about the next day. Who am I going to depend on to after this? Who am I going to go to when I need to look for my inner strength? Who would want to share things with me after this? How am I going to survive in months to come? Where can I seek a friend like Anid to tell everything about my life?

Yes, that was the questionnaire for myself, which I hardly could give the answers. As I was trying to calculate my own thoughts, I felt the brush of someone’s hand on my forehead. I knew it was him. I could feel the tactility. I wanted to open my eyes but I did not. He kept on caressing my hair and I kept on pretending to be unconscious. I just let him.. until he stopped.

Suddenly I heard the sound of the hinge of the door and I had a quick glimpse of his silhouette before he left the room. And my thought was right. I knew it. I knew it was him. Not long after that, a warm crystal like tear brushed off my cheeks. I knew I’m going to miss him so much..”

Dad is my kind, the one who does not talk much but has so many things to tell and share. The one who might look ‘garang’ and heartless to some eyes but owns a very noble heart inside. The one who looks like he does not care about anything but actually deep inside, he cares more than anyone could ever notice. Yea, he is very much like me. He has his own egoism inside just like me; never wants to lose in argument. We were born in the rabbit year. We can be very annoying to some people sometimes. Hehe..

He can be very garang at times yet he can be a joker and makes us burst into laughter. He does not show off his love to his kids with tears but with his own special way. Every time we send along ima or angah aya or abg amir or lupi off at the airport, he never shows his sadness. Ajuk mum nangis ade la. Huhu..

Every time we celebrate birthdays, he is the only one who will sing the birthday song ‘Happy Bersedih’. Haha.. He likes to hunt squirrels dekat kebun kampung. When I was a kid, I always followed him to kebun to collect fruits and sometimes to tembak the tupais. Heh.. Best gile. But I seldom go there now since I live quite a few miles away from my house and seldom got the chance to go hunting with Dad again.

When I was small, I never thought Dad as more than a father. Although we did spend some times together but I never told him about my life; about my school, about my friends. I usually turn to Mum for that sort of things. Well, not that I did not tell him anything but not as much as I do to Mum. Heh..

Being a grown up girl, I started to learn how to depend more on Dad. Not to weigh him down but to try to learn how to appreciate his presence. As of my years in Langkawi, I started to tell him things and share things with him. Although he does not respond very much, I know he concerns about everything I told him. When I was sick several weeks ago, he would come to my room every night, picit2 my badan and baca doa dekat air. Terharu ah. Huhu..

The other day, I came across a blog, which was written about his father who has passed away since he was small. I could not stop myself from crying because it was so sad. It brought me back to those sweet moments I had with Dad. It made me realize that life is not all about happiness. I know someday, one of us have to go first to move on the journey. But I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to face the time. I don’t know what else I can do to make sure happiness is always on his side. But I do know something. ‘Hanya ada 3 perkara yang akan mengiringi seseorang itu sampai bila2’ and one of them is doa anak yang soleh. So that is the only way and I’m trying to be one. I know I’m not perfect enough to be one but one thing for sure, I will always pray for Dad because he is the only Dad I have and he is the only one who used to call me ‘donut’ :)

I love you, Dad. Happy Birthday :)

Mungkin

Ape yg korg faham dgn ayat ni: ‘Abu tau si jai ha khu dau zi rai za sha zu lau mi nai wa hu hai.. haaulaaiyyai..’? First time aku bace aku berasa sungguh musykil. Taiko kate maybe aku gune muqaddam modern. Mungkin. Sekarang aku dah faham.

Tapi…dengan kemusykilan itu aku dipertemukan dengan sebuah blog yg sgt menarik. Apa yg menarik? Inilah dia apa yg kutunggu2 selama ini.

Sudah tentu dan sudah pasti aku nak pergi. Peluang keemasan untuk aku berkenalan dengan young photographers yg sungguh cool itu. Nasib baik time tu cuti. Cumanya masih tak pasti siapakah yg sanggup menggadai minyak dan masa untuk bawa aku ke situ. Hmm…

Tapi apa yang lebih musykil ialah kesanggupan aku menggadaikan seluruh waktu petangku untuk membaca kisah blog itu dari entry terdahulu sampai la ke entry yang terkini. Adakah aku punyai banyak masa terluang? Tidak sama sekali. Aku masih ada paper biology khamis ni. Hanya sekadar ingin mengisi masa lapang? Mungkin. Tapi aku sangat mengantuk petang tadi namun aku masih sanggup sacrifice untuk menghabiskan pembacaanku. Musykil? Sungguh.

Aku pun tak pasti ada apa dengan blog itu.

Mungkinkah kerana penulisannya yang unik itu? Mungkin.

Atau mungkinkah kerana gaya penulisannya yang menarik dan penuh dengan lawak jenaka? Mungkin. Sedikit sebanyak ya. Ada juga beberapa kisah yang buatku gelak seorang diri dalam chalet ni.

Mungkin kerana aku rasa kami mempunyai satu fikrah yang sama. Boleh jadi.

Atau mungkin kerana aku perlu menggunakan bakat yang semakin terasah ini untuk interpret makna2 tersirat dan tersurat. Mungkin.

Atau kerana dia juga ada minat dalam bidang photography? Aku tak pasti tapi nampaknya begitulah. Mungkin juga.

Mungkin kerana dia juga seorang Aries dan juga seorang yang in-touch dengan jiwa dan perasaan dalaman seperti aku? Tidak begitu pasti tapi tidak mustahil juga.

Atau kerana gaya penulisannya yang sedikit sebanyak mengingatkan aku pada abang lan? Mungkin.

Atau mungkin kerana aku sudah bosan dengan kehidupan di kolej ini dan memerlukan sedikit ruang untuk diri sendiri untuk melihat dunia luar? Besar juga kemungkinan itu.

Ah..terlalu banyak kemungkinan!

Namun apa yang pasti..aku dah mula poyo nak ikut gaya penulisan dia. Hehehe.. Ya sungguh buruk skali penulisan aku ini, aku tahu. Afar yg mulakan bagi message skema malam tadi. Huhu..

Atau mungkin kerana Dia yang sudah tetapkan segalanya dan tidaklah terjadi sesuatu perkara atas sebeb kebetulan? Ya.. itu sudah pasti.

Dan apa yang lagi pasti... itulah antara ekspresi kehidupan seorang insan yang sungguh berseni dan berjaya menarik perhatianku.

Syabas kuucapkan pada si penulis. Moga kau diberi ilham untuk terus berkarya baik dalam bidang penulisan atau bidang fotografi :)

the one with a birthday wish

I’m not sure since when I got intrigued by poetry. I don’t like literature. I loath to interpret words in all those poems although I know they could bring a very wonderful meaning. I just dislike it. But I think I know the person who has swelled the spell. Mamat ni sangat suke literature. Ye la, kalau English terer giler and memang romantic jewang tahap mega, mesti la suke literature kot. Haha.. No, he’s not reading literature. He’s currently reading business but he does sometimes study literature for his own interest.

He is the only person who will send me poems and beautiful quotations every time he found any, which he thinks quite nice. At first I thought it was such a waste of time to read through every words that I hardly got the meaning. Kadang2 message tak sampai pun. Dina sangat ‘lumpy’ bab2 literature ni, I know. Hehe.. But after now and then, my interest in it started to grow. My ability to interpret those words (albeit might be wrong. Hehe..) started to develop bit by bit. Now I know how to appreciate poems. Although most of the times I don’t quite get what they are trying to illustrate but how the words are assembled and how they resemble things draws me into it in a way. Though it never tops off my interest in photography and BMWs. Hehe..

It was almost seven years ago..

I logged in my e-mail that morning and ‘ inbox (1) ’ caught my sight. I smiled. Another drug to keep me high. Another zephyr to keep me in-touched. But the poem is not what I want to write about now. Heh..

Seemed like it was not only me whom he sent the e-mail to. The ‘carbon copy’ list was not that long but enough for me to recognize some names. Some names who were definitely quite close to him. And one unfamiliar name came across me, Mardiana Arisya. Ehem.. So I asked this guy who sent me that e-mail: “Pakcik roy, (yep..that pakcik is azrai. Heh..) siapa mardiana arisya? Tak pernah dengar pun name tu.” Three days after that, I got another e-mail which I thought was a reply from Azrai but my contemplation was wrong. It was from that unfamiliar person. Heh..

It was loooong long time ago so the e-mail is no longer in existence. Heh.. But the significant thing about it is, that e-mail was the outset of the never-ending relationship between a cat and a dog. Of course la I’m the cat. Hehehe..

She’s Kak Ila’s sister. And Kak Ila is pakcik’s awek. And pakcik is the boroy man. (ok ok enough. Heh ;p) We’ve been friends for almost seven years now and no one, I mean, nobody can ever be her. She can be very bitchy and annoying but still can be very angelic, thoughtful and solicitous at times. Bebelan die sangat menyakitkan hati but I don’t know why, she is always the person whom I will turn to whenever I have problems. ANY problem will lead me to her. Although she might not help me in any way to solve the problems but she always makes me learn something. Be it learning about life or learn not to be like her. Hehe..

And most of the times, she knows me better than myself. That’s what I like and hate about her. She cannot read my mind (kadang2 berjaye jugak la. Heh..) but her guess of what and how I feel are mostly correct. So tak payah buang air liur cite, she will perceive everything all by herself. But the irritating part is, she knows that the bitchy and quarrelsome side of her is the magnetic field of our friendship. All those fights and arguments bring us even closer. Although we are light years’ away, we often keep in touch in each other and know what is happening to the other one of us. And not seeing each other for almost five years will never stop us to retain the bond. Yea, she’s really one in a million, trillion and zillion. I don’t have to say that she’s one of the most precious people in my life because she already knows that. And every time I do, she’ll say “Alaa dina, tak payah jadik budak poyo..”. Hampeh..

Happy Birthday, makcik :) Thanks for always be there. Gracias muchacha!

looking forward to tomorrow

I didn’t take my medicine just now. Yea, it’s kind of an experiment to check whether I really need to keep on taking them. If my condition did not get worse then I really am getting better. But if it’s otherwise, something not right is going on. I don’t know why I’m so emotional tonight. It’s raining heavily outside as if it knows that my heart is weeping too. I myself am not sure why my heart weeps but I feel lonely. I miss my family. I miss Nazme, Salma and Effa. I miss my friends. I miss my teachers. I miss some of my pasts. I miss all the sweet moments. As if nothing else in this world matters at right this hour, I typed all these saved messages from my handphone. Silly, I know. But somehow this makes me feel better. There are more actually but I couldn’t list them all down could I?

‘Kiranya tiada CINTA insani untukmu, cukuplah CINTA ALLAH penyuluh hidupmu, kelak akan ada CINTA untukmu dr insan yang menyintai ALLAH sebagaimana CINTAmu kepadaNYA’ –Maisarah

‘Positive thinking is like this- a bird flies up in the sky; you look up and it shits in your eye. But you don’t mind you don’t cry, but you thank God that cows don’t fly’ –Yah

‘I wrote your name on the sand and it got washed away.. I wrote your name in the air and it got blown away.. I wrote your name in my heart and I got a heart attack.. Huahua’ –Azhreen

‘I made a list of special people in my life. I wrote them in pencil and included your name but I used permanent ink coz I decided to keep you in my list forever’ –Zue

‘Friendship is one of the hardest things to keep coz somewhere in the middle, new friends may come. But I hope you still keep me in your heart even if someone new comes along’ –Wan

‘If you want to know how much I miss you, try to catch raindrops. The ones you catch is how much you miss me and the ones you miss is how much I miss you..’ –Ain

‘If ever the day comes and you find a better friend than me, just remember that what I gave to you is the best of what I have and what I am to you is the best that I can only be’ –Arisya

‘I see. Hmm, but still, banyaknye!! Almost 20 pages! ^^; Thanx again kay. Oyasumi (good night in Japan. That’s qilah, Japanese freak. Hehe..). Don’t yume (dream) about *** kay XD kuikui, juz kidding’ –Qilah

‘Sing to me the song of the stars. Of your galaxy dancing and laughing..and laughing again. When it feels like my dreams are so far. Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. So I lay my head back down. And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours. I know now you are my only hope. I give you my destiny. I’m giving you all of me. I want your symphony singing in all that I am. At the top of my lungs, I’m giving it back..’ –Thirah

‘Hmm..sedeyhnye takleh tgk sekarang. Apakah? Dina, kita takleh la bila dpt msg awk. Kita rasa cam nak nangis. Sorry sebab emo. Hehe.. you too, take care! I miss you unexplainably’ –Thirah

‘Ceyh dina! *** yang awak terjatuh sampai tak boleh bangun tu ke? Kuikui, mana tau? Haaaa! Kantoi dina! Wakakaka..’ –Qilah

‘Sis, thanx k and cakap kat budak2 lain. Love you guys so much’ –Adi Aizat poyo ;p

‘Haha..Sungguh bersemangat. Cool gile. Terharu gak la aku. Terus bersemangat. Thanx a lot. Your words mean a lot to me.’ –Afar

‘Oi, tak tido lagi ke? I never forget my friends even the ones I met uncoincidentaly =)’ –Fahrol

‘Hai dina. Hmm..tatau cemane aku nak ckp. Sampai mcm ni skali pengorbanan kawan aku. Aku time kaseh banyak2! Pegang janji aku, aku keje nanti aku nak belanje ko. Aku happy sangat kawan ngan ko. Ko la kawan aku dunia akhirat. Thanx a lot!’ –Wan

‘Ow, welcome! I had a great time too. Good luck in your life! Keep in touch!’ –Faris

‘Hepi besday to you. Hepi besday to you. Hepi besday to dina yang comel tp dah tua. Hepi besday to you!’ –Afar

‘Akum..dina, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May God bless you always for all the things you’ve done for me and for being there when I need you the most. Enjoy your bday. Old oredi maa! Frens forever!!’ –Tikah

‘Before I go to bed tonight, I just want to wish you Happy Birthday. I may not the first to wish but I never forget the day’ –Aimran

‘Kalau esok saya dapat kawan lagi, saya harap dia tak macam awak sbb saya Cuma nak awak sorang je yang mcm awak dlm hidup saya’ –Yah

‘1 hari..awak akan lupakan saya. Nama saya.. Suara saya.. Wajah saya.. dan siapa saya pada awak. Tapi mengenali awak adalah satu anugerah berharga bagi saya’ -Tirah

‘If I die and go to heaven and God asks me what is my last wish, I’ll pause for a while to look for you, and if I see you crying, I would say.. “Dear God, give me one minute to hug my best friend”’ –Izy

‘Thanx allooottt dina!!kita reply msg awk ni last coz it means so much to me. Nobody would ever be you. And the times we were together was one of the best moments in life! Miss ya! Jumpe kat umah Mal kalau kita jadik pegi eh..’ –Izy

‘If you’re a chocolate, you’re the sweetest. If you’re a teddy bear, you’re the most huggable. If you’re a star, you’re the brightest. And since you’re my friend, you’re the best =)’ –Izy

‘Askum maaf mengganggu. Cakap kat rushdina, thank you for the card. Ia pembakar semangat cikgu untuk terus berjuang. Take care.. p/s: Dina, ni cikgu yusof yang hantar. Teharu gile’ –Izy

‘Askum. Sebenarnya hari ni adalah hari yg paling sedih kerana lepas ni cikgu hanya boleh tgk kamu dan kawan lain dr jauh sambil mendengar kemajuan dicapai. Selamat tinggal semua..’ –Cikgu Yusof a.k.a pakcop! *sob sob*

‘Sayang ko gak’ –Lupi

‘Anak Mum mcm mana? Study elok2. Always be confident with yourself ok. Mum sayang anak Mum. Take care’ –Mumzy T_T *homesick*

Sometimes, I realize that my life is coming to an end. I never know when my time will come but it will arrive one day. Definitely. I might not get the last chance to say to my beloved ones that I love them so much. Even when I got the chance, I’m too ego to say it out loud. I’d rather keep it to myself and pretend. Yea, sometimes my life is all about pretending. I’m used to it, nothing to be blamed about. I might not get the last opportunity to let them know that their presence in my life are very meaningful and the most treasureable gifts I could ever wish for. It’s true that every beginning has its own ending, every meeting will definitely come to a part. But after all, God has destined everything. We could never change even a second. And we must believe in ourselves and in God, that everything we get is actually the best for ourselves.

You know what’s my last wish before I leave this world? I really want to see my beloved ones to smile at me for the last time. And I want them to know that I could never want or ask for better people because I have the best in them. They are simply the reasons why and how I could live my life this far.

And yea, he’s going away soon and maybe; this place and this experience can be the witness of the welding of our friendship that we have once built. Sometimes, I want to believe that our meeting is not and will never be a coincidence. But with a very heavy heart, I really think that I have to let everything to drain away. I have my own life to go on and I have my own dreams to achieve. He has taken my tremendous energy, my valuable times and my precious tears. No, I’m not pinning blame on him. I even thank him for everything but enough is enough. The time has not come yet and will never arrive. There’s nothing to wait for and it’s just a waste of time to wait for uncertainties. And I’m very grateful for having such guts and willpower to let everything go. Because somehow or another, I have faith in Him and I know, if He doesn’t give me what I want now, He’ll give me sooner or later. Or He’ll grant me with something better. And I believe that he knows that too. All that he does not know is how much I’ve sacrificed for everything. Never thought of telling him that and he does not even have to know because everything is over… Everything is over now.

Happy 2nd Birthday Nazme! *flying kiss*

It has been seven days now. There’s no sign of recovery. What keeps me sane is the medicine. I don’t know what disease has got into me but this weird sickness really drag me down and up until now, doctors are still unsure with my ailment. The weird thing about this is, my body temperature will dramatically goes up at night and significantly drops during the day. And something keeps penetrating my brain all the time. Now, I’m depending on the ubat or else I’ll be in bed through out the day. Mum and Dad are so fretful about me and I don’t like to see them in such situation. It really makes me glum when Mum calls and messages me asking “Anak Mum mcm mana” “Jaga diri baik2” “Mum sayang anak Mum..” nak nangis bleh tak? *sob sob*

I actually went home last weekends and I did my blood test twice. The first test depicted quite substantial fall in my platelets count (normal level is between 150 to 450 and mine was on the fence) and total white blood count (3.3). And for the second test, my platelets count apparently rose a bit to 168 but the total white count turun lagi sampai 2.5. And tomorrow I’m going to do another test maybe in Hosp. Tanjung Malim la kot. Tak best sebab takde Mum T_T Hehe.. The funny part was when I saw Dr. Shamsiah the other day, she asked me a few questions but none of them gave her any hint.

DR: Ada batuk ke selsema ke?
Me: Tak
DR: Sakit tekak?
Me: Tak. (and then she checked my tekak la..)
DR: Tekak ok. (Duh!)
DR: Ada kena gigit nyamuk?
Me: Tak
DR: Kolej dekat dengan hutan ke?
Me: Mmg hutan. Tapi tak pernah nampak satu nyamuk pun.
DR: Ada pergi camping mana2 ke.
Me: Tak
DR: Mandi kat sungai ke, laut ke.
Me: Tak (Haih..)
(And then she did the denggi test – negative)
DR: Takpela, saya bagi je ubat bla bla bla…

Kesimpulannye, doctor tu pun kecewa sbb tak mampu nak diagnose. Heh..Ntahla.. Hopefully I’m getting over this soon. Alhamdulillah my practical exam just now was ok. I can say I expected that question to come out. Thanx to my intuitive sense. Heh..

Anyways, today is somebody’s birthday. Too bad I can’t be with him this evening for a small celebration party. Sedih gile T_T He’s a big boy now. I always tell Along Ima, ‘Nazme tu dah boleh masuk tadika dah! Buat bising kat rumah je’ Heh.. But he’s just 2, too young to be let free. Hehe.. I know he’ll become a good boy one day. Boleh kene rugged ngan Mak Na. Hehehe.. Miss him so much :) Tok Dad belikan Nazme hadiah sampai 100 over! Melampau.. My birthday present pun tak semahal tu. Takde birthday present pun, slalu ade kek je. Huhu..Tapi best gile hadiah tu. Takut Mak Na yang main, bukan Nazme. Heh.. Ok ah, kepale dah pening balik, nak kene makan ubat. Pray for me to get well soon. I really need my normal life back. Isk.. Till then, tata!

'Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone.. And the world solitude to express the glory of being alone.. The memory will always be in mind. Thanx for once being a part of my life :)'

the job

Uh, finally, I can live my day without any intervention. No calls from people, no messages asking me to meet him or her for this and that, no rushing to a meeting, no headaches and basically there’s nothing to be bothered at the moment. Well, that’s the good part of going back home. And the bad part is, it does not last long like you have ever wished for *sob sob* I just don’t want to go back to that jungle with lots of jumble T_T Well, what to do. That’s life..

For the first time in my life, these past few weeks had been the most hectic moment ever. I would not get the chance to sleep even at 2am e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y. Things were piling up from second to second. I was being weighed down by all my new responsibilities from day to day. As of then, I felt QUITE regretful for accepting the job as a ‘leader’, so to speak. It’s like I was the only one who got to make sure everything is done on time.

And the most backbreaking part is getting people’s cooperation. It was like one hell of a job, begging for someone to handle or to be in charge of something and they just reluctant to do it. Sakit hati tu, sakit jugak tapi nak buat macam mana. Just like what Mr. Small said during the previous assembly, “You can’t force people to get involved in all college activities” –kalau tak silap ar die ckp cam tu. Heh..- so, what choice do I really have then?

But I hate being controlled by underlying pessimism. I just need to think positively and think that it’s not a bad thing in being a leader. Actually, what really keeps me on track is because I got the chance to learn so many things about life. I know new things that I never knew before. I discover new aspects of life that I never noticed before. I encounter disconsolate and elated moments that I had never got the chance to experience before. Too many intangible things that I can’t really describe how beautiful or dismal things can be. And receiving more than what I should have got by giving something is just the most precious and glorious feelings I could ever felt. Well, that’s the good thing I guess.

Anyways, what I had been up to in these few weeks were basically events and parties like we usually have. After bangsawan, there was a MARA party conducted by mara juniors (best =) check out the pictures), and inter-house tournaments as usual (haih..netball and badminton. Sigh..tiring gile!) and last night there was a Nostalgic Night in which Diamond won The Most Groovy House award and also The Best Video *applause!* Albeit we did not win the Most Nostalgic House (and also table decoration competition T_T), I think Diamond juniors have been more closer than ever. Seronok la kerja ngan diorang and we definitely enjoy ourselves and have fun.

And……

Another event that is going to be held next week is the Biathlon Tournament. As the tournament director, I need to check the route (which is the most dreary job to do! Penat la!) and also to make sure semua bejalan lancar la kot. Heh.. Seb baek kerja ngan orang yang boleh harap so hopefully ok la kot. Baru ingatkan nak balik since there’s no class on that day tapi tak boleh la nampaknye. Might be going back in two weeks’ time for my follow-up with Dr. Dass. Tak saba nak balik! Heh..

Oh by the way, tadi pergi rumah Along Ima jumpa Nazme and Effa yang dah semakin besar tu. Hehe.. Miss diorang laa T_T Nazme dah pandai cakap sikit2. Effa dah semakin gemus. Hehe.. Pak Pi and Pak Amir tak jumpe lagi Effa. Talking about my bros, abg amir maybe balik end of this month kot. Pastu Lupi pulak balik summer nanti. Kadang2 rase rindu gile kat diorang. Padahal kalau diorang ade kat rumah pun bukannye make my day happier. Heh..But the feeling of their presence tu lain la. Huhu…sentimental la pulak. Heh..

Ok la, nak pergi rumah Angah Aya pulak jumpe Salma. Haih, susah la jadik aunty mithali ni. Hehe.. By the way, my examination is coming up soon so do pray for me yea! Tanak dapat teruk for Maths lagi. Hehe.. Till then guys! Tata!

‘I wish I could have the power to turn back the time to get back to the past where everything was stunning and I reposed a lot of hopes and trusts in them. But everything was in vain, I’m not a superwoman’

enough

8 hours to go. Dad is fetching me for a medical appointment tomorrow (dina sakit ape?). Can't wait to go back!

Seriously..I think I have gone off the limit. I'm sorely knackered and exhausted.

I have had enough for these few weeks. Need to spend time for myself lah. Sigh..

I'm not planning to ramble actually - I got Maths test in an hour and I'm still terkapai2 with differentiation n integration. Aduh.. - but Nostalgic Night is going to take place tonight. Sedih tak boleh tengok kemantapan house Diamond. Hehe.. Despite this, I can't wait to see Nazme :) Last week when I went back home, I went to Along Ima's house in Serdang and the moment Nazme saw me he was like 'Mak Naaa!!'. Terharu Nazme rindu kat Mak Na. Hehe..

Ok2 I'm drifting away. Better go now. Wish me luck for the test!