You know what’s the best thing to feel? A feeling that you’d never be able to describe how beautiful it is and a satisfaction that only one particular smile can tell?
I used to be a person who hates people easily. I used to have bad judgments on people and let the detestation grow frenziedly from within. And one way to channel it away is of course through this blog. I wrote bad things about people I hate like nobody’s business.
However, was it more by luck than judgment, those people I wrote about found out those entries. Well, as devastated as I should have expected them to be, I regretted it until now. I was very embarrassed with myself and I just didn’t have anything else to back me up. That was when my bad karma was repaid. And I really deserved it.
Anyways, thankfully there is still a good side in me who wanted to go for a change. I was not sure when but I somehow submitted myself to a change, and being someone better. Rasanya lepas pergi E$Q kot, baru la faham, siapa la aku nak benci2 orang, nak dendam2 dgn org sedangkan diri sendiri banyak dosa, mungkin dengan orang lain tp semestinya dengan Allah. Sedangkan Allah pun Maha Pengampun, siapa la aku tanak maafkan kesalahan org lain kan?
Then, slowly, the loathing started to fade away. And I could finally accept everyone as they are and not anyone else. Now, the hatred is gone, and Alhamdulillah, the love is stepping into the light and all I want is too see those people smile and be happy.
Two days ago, I got a bad news from my bro. His friend’s grandmother passed away. “She was crying when I called her..” and the grief just suddenly ate me from inside and there I was, thinking about the totally opposite feeling than I used to sense over this fella long ago. Well, she knows I used to hate her but the way she treats me makes me hate myself even more because she is really a nice person. I felt sorry for her and I felt uneasy myself. I couldn’t sit still and I thought, I had to do something. So I asked S@r@, my 3rd year senior, for her mobile number and I texted her, conveying my condolence and supporting her to be strong.
“Hi dina. Thanx a lot. Hope you’re ok there. Do take care yeah..”
And I felt so relief. And happy. For doing something I’ve never thought of before. And made her feel better. I might not be the reason why she should be strong but at least, I did something good.
And everytime I think about it, I smile to myself. Something might seem so small and insignificant and worthless to one’s eyes but what matters the most, is the other party who wholeheartedly and sincerely gives the best thing to other people. Erti h!dup p@da memberi. It really means the world.
I used to be a person who hates people easily. I used to have bad judgments on people and let the detestation grow frenziedly from within. And one way to channel it away is of course through this blog. I wrote bad things about people I hate like nobody’s business.
However, was it more by luck than judgment, those people I wrote about found out those entries. Well, as devastated as I should have expected them to be, I regretted it until now. I was very embarrassed with myself and I just didn’t have anything else to back me up. That was when my bad karma was repaid. And I really deserved it.
Anyways, thankfully there is still a good side in me who wanted to go for a change. I was not sure when but I somehow submitted myself to a change, and being someone better. Rasanya lepas pergi E$Q kot, baru la faham, siapa la aku nak benci2 orang, nak dendam2 dgn org sedangkan diri sendiri banyak dosa, mungkin dengan orang lain tp semestinya dengan Allah. Sedangkan Allah pun Maha Pengampun, siapa la aku tanak maafkan kesalahan org lain kan?
Then, slowly, the loathing started to fade away. And I could finally accept everyone as they are and not anyone else. Now, the hatred is gone, and Alhamdulillah, the love is stepping into the light and all I want is too see those people smile and be happy.
Two days ago, I got a bad news from my bro. His friend’s grandmother passed away. “She was crying when I called her..” and the grief just suddenly ate me from inside and there I was, thinking about the totally opposite feeling than I used to sense over this fella long ago. Well, she knows I used to hate her but the way she treats me makes me hate myself even more because she is really a nice person. I felt sorry for her and I felt uneasy myself. I couldn’t sit still and I thought, I had to do something. So I asked S@r@, my 3rd year senior, for her mobile number and I texted her, conveying my condolence and supporting her to be strong.
“Hi dina. Thanx a lot. Hope you’re ok there. Do take care yeah..”
And I felt so relief. And happy. For doing something I’ve never thought of before. And made her feel better. I might not be the reason why she should be strong but at least, I did something good.
And everytime I think about it, I smile to myself. Something might seem so small and insignificant and worthless to one’s eyes but what matters the most, is the other party who wholeheartedly and sincerely gives the best thing to other people. Erti h!dup p@da memberi. It really means the world.
To all first year Leicesterian medics and m@r, I dedicate this gambar cun to all of you, with a message: Good Luck for the exams!! :) Thanx for helping me with studies. Thanx for always be there in the study group. Thanx for supporting each other. May we make this through and succeed with flying colours, insyaAllah :)
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