A Beautiful Mind

‘Imagine... If you had suddenly learned that the people and the places and the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse – had never been real. What kind of hell would that be?’ –A Beautiful Mind

It hurts you the most. It possibly eradicates your soul ultimately. But it appears that you don’t have too much choice, do you? Sometimes you can’t expect people to completely understand how your world looks like, how it feels to breathe the air you inhale, how things that come across your sight look like. You cannot expect people to perceive life with the same meanings as you do. You cannot force people to be in your shoes. You neither can blame people if they don’t be as who you wish them to be. And sometimes you just need a place to go to, a person to turn to, and a moment to cherish about just to make yourself feel better. Alas, if they turned out unreal, how devastated you could be? They were what you’d been waiting for all this while. To some extent, you hardly accepted it but no choice you had, that was how life treated you and nothing you could do, how hopeless and helpless you were, life must go on.

Along Ima asked me the other day ‘Dina, kau tak kisah ke orang lain bace ko punye blog. I mean, ko tak kisah ke orang tau ko punye personal life?’. Honestly, I do mind people read my blog. That’s why I don’t really fancy silent readers but it’s nothing I can avoid can I? I mean, that is what I should expect in the first place right? Well, I don’t actually spill everything in here so there’s nothing I should be worried about. And I’ve decided to keep blogging which means I don’t have any other choice than accept silent readers and let them know more about me. That is somewhat a compliment though; at least there are people out there who want to know about me. Heh.. The stat even tracks down a person who has googled my name. Haih.. saba je laa. But being a no braggart, I really don’t have things to show off. My life is simply normal, not a fairy tale although this is called a ‘fantasy’. Then you can see the purpose of the word ‘dreaming’ there. Oh crap… I’m bored actually and have nothing to blog about (yea right..and this is going to be what, the 3rd paragraph? Heh..)

Anyways, I went to banting last 2 days. I did not really know what was the purpose of going there but I was damn bored doing nothing at home so I decided to meet up my friends there. Why banting you ask? Well, first, it is just a thirty-minute drive. Tak larat ah pegi sunway or intec. Second, banting is the parkampungan of maresmawians so most of my good friends are there. Some even run the MPP. Hah!! Talking about pulun!! Hehe.. Bangge ape 4org run mpp. Senang keje aku kalo aku run SC nnt kalau nak buat friendly match basketball ke. Tebus kekalahan kyu3m!! Err ok I’m dragging too much. Third, they’re still in the examination mode so had been thinking that my presence would cheer them up a bit! Heh.. I did that I tell ya! Borak2, gosip2. Sempat main basket lagi tu. Hehe.. agak terpegun ah dengan cara hidup sihat diorg. Huhu.. have to admit that they have a bigger field and two basketball courts. I repeat, TWO BASKETBALL COURTS!! So pakcik *Rashid Ismail terpakse ah melabur duit for the second court for kyu3m. Heh.. Fourth, seems like they were the only friends who still not in the middle of the holidays so they might not know how thrilling the holidays could get so I was there to do my job! Heh..

You know what; I kinda miss the sweet moments back then in Langkawi. 2 years are not enough and we’re split in the middle of that. Maybe they don’t really feel what I feel but being amongst them in one place together would not be the same as spending 2years in kyu3m without them. Don’t get me wrong, kyu3m is the best place one could ever be in and I’m very thankful for that but when it comes to friends, it’s very hard to emerge a truthful friendship as one. Lebih2 lagi a shy person like me (ehem..) takes a very long time to find a good friend. But I believe in faith though. I know that 2years in kyu3m will definitely be as precious as the years in Langkawi. Perhaps, it could be even better. Who knows :) I’ve even met someone there. Ooops, terlepas! Heh.. No no, can’t say much about that. If Izy read this, let she be even more confused. Hahaha *keji*

So Mum rang up kak @na just now; asking about my job attachment. She said there is not much thing to see in Hospital Putrajaya. I mean, she is an anesthetist, and all that she involved in is gassing people up. Yea, more or less like bluescrubber and most of the times she’ll be around the ICU; a place where I can’t expect more. Things would be more interesting if I could witness more ‘real’ cases like ones in emergency department but since Along Ima is in her mc, I don’t have a choice. It’s not that bad though. Hopefully. Heh.. don’t worry, I’m not like p3j@i yang pulun buat job attachment sampai ke pahang die pegi. Huhu.. Lupi kate keje ikut2 doctor ni boring so should I not expect too much right? Heh.. yang penting ikhlas, kan?

So I think it’s time to shut my brain down and save it for tomorrow. Pray hard for me not get anyone into trouble or piss nurses off. Heh.. Nite!

*Just in case of you’re wondering, it’s the name that we give for Mr. Rich@rd Sm@||. And those weird spellings are to minimize the chance of being detected by the search engine ;p ta!