The One with Confusion

I was in car with Anid and Icah, heading to a place that I’d rather not go but because somebody insisted, I had no choice. KL is one hell a place that I hate to drive to and the reason is none other than annoying and rage-breaking traffic jam. The traffic was moving slow and I should take a left turn but I was still smack bang on the most right lane so you can just imagine how bad the struggling was. The left-signal was blinking non stop, hoping for the people to give me some space to move through the traffic but those kiasus out there, they would never give up, would they?

I just hate horns, that’s why I never honk to other people and anid seems unsatisfied with that. “Dina, ko hon je laa kat budak tu! Macam ****!!” and whenever a car comes out of nowhere, her hand would automatically put and prepared at the steering. I would go like “Oi, saba la!! I’m the driver, not u!” and she would reply “Dah ko tak geti gune kete!”. That really does not help I tell you. That particular action actually makes me terkejut and menggelabah and I dislike those feelings especially when driving. That is just not my way but maybe, just MAYBE honking people is other person’s way. I don’t know.

And the most irritating part was when this kancil bodoh stole my parking!! Imagine if there were million of cars on the road, heading to a same place and the parking was limited and you had been round and round looking for one and fortunately there was a car leaving the place and you had put the signal on, ready to make a move when suddenly another car slide into the parking that you were dying for. Yes, without hesitation!!!!! Macam si*l!!! I swore like $%&*^*^$@#^&% (but don’t worry teek, I won’t break your shit record ;p) That was the moment when I used the car facilities to the fullest ;p. Mamat chewing-gum (note: euphemism is used here! it’s an abbreviation but no offense please!) tu dgn tak malunye keluar kete and buat bodo trus blah. Dah ar kancil wei!! Geram gile cam nak mati but I was not really in a mood to snarling and squawking at people so I just left that stupid twat. Yes, just like that. Blame me for that! Lucky me there was another car leaving the building and this time I ensured that no car would steal my parking again! Hah! I made a perfect parking though =) *crap dina, crap..*

“Aku tak faham la nid, aku slalu tolong orang tapi kenape org tak tolong aku eh? Not to say that I’m helping people because I expect something good from other people, no not like that. But I don’t know, why don’t these people have some sense of merciful or whatever.”. “Alaa sabar je laa. Maybe you’ll get a help when you need it the most. There is a good repay for you one day, maybe it comes in a form that you never expect, tak ke tu lagi best..Or maybe there are other people who need the help more than you do, so just give them a chance. Isn't that a way of helping people too?”

She was right. I can’t expect too much from the world, can I? I mean, I’m still in my learning stage, try to perceive life in a better way but sometimes, when I try to help and understand people; they don’t quite get what my intention is and some of them even take an advantage on me. Yes, I know, this is where life is teaching me how to be a better person, how to be optimistic but you can’t be patient all the time, can you? You cannot always meet people’s needs right? Sometimes you want to think positive and help people out here and there but those people don’t really have the same perception of thinking as you do. They tend to think otherwise and always put themselves on the top, never think about other people. Their needs always top off other people’s needs. No, don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to say that I am right and other people are wrong but SOME of them are being really2 selfish. Is this how the life should be? I don’t know, you might have your own opinion. But that is just a bit part of it. Life is actually more than that.

I don’t know since when I start all this ‘thinking’ thingy. I mean, every time I’m in a middle of a crowd, I’ll always observe people and think why and how they do this and that. Most of them are not really answerable (is there any such word?) but the more I think about it, the more confused I will get because most of the time, I don’t understand why people do that particular thing. Yes, I know, different person has different way of thinking and each one of us has our own personal view and I respect that for that matter. But you know, contradiction always put people into puzzlement and perplexity right? For instance, when the news of the non-halal sausage spread through the community, most of them (Muslim especially) started to boycott the company that manufactures the sausage. Semua org kecoh2 pasal tu but why and why and WHY, when it comes to corruption, people tend to shut their mouth up? Kenapa makan rasuah boleh tapi makan bende tak halal tak boleh? Sins will always be sins right?

Another example; I was queuing up for a movie ticket (Constant Gardener yang sangat tak best) and then there was a couple, yep, they were muslims (kalau melayu pakai tudung selalunya Islam la kan?) cuddling each other and I overheard something like this “You tau tak, I tak sangka pun si so-and-so tu drink!! Nampak je baik tapi drink jugak! Dengar cite die pernah ter*tut* dengan si so-and-so”. Ok, shoot me if you think I was not supposed to eavesdropped people’s conversation and I should have mind my own business, but I could not run myself away from it. The couple was just right in front of me, takkan nak tutup telinge, ape kes kan? But that’s not the point. The point is; I was quite surprised that both of them were still aware of the sins of drinking!! Siap tak sangka org buat bende tak elok, yg diorg tu? Ish2..ape nak jadik ntah… That is just a small proportion of the whole matter but I think you get what I’m trying to say.

Let just leave that for a moment. For a digression, my brain is waiting for its time to explode. It will just blast off at any second from now. It has been my third week of holiday but the books are still safe unpacked. Mum and Dad have started to worry about me. Dad tak bagi main komputer as frequently as usual. Heh.. Oh well.. I’m worried about myself even more!!!!!! I’ve just received a message from #ilfi, asking me to reserve the hall for the ICAN. And for ICAN jugak, aktiviti hari isnin kene tukar dgn hari selase. All the speakers need to be informed as well as the other people who are involved. That is not my job but whatever it is, I am the one who need to make sure everything goes as planned!!! I need to make sure that everything is done as they should be. And my piled up biology assignment is still untouched and none of the chemistry books is on my desk! If that is not enough, I have to look for sponsors for the ecotrip and am still deterring over running for SC next year. *BIG SIGH*.. This is life, isn’t it? Well, I'm catching things up, hopefully =)

Anyways, this is my daily dose that keeps my sanity. I think this picture is MAGNIFICENT!! Imagine if that was my hand on a BMW's, it would be much cooler! Heh.. Credit to Nadya for this pic. (Nad, kite curik gambar awak! ;p)

Ok guys. Need to head off to bed now. I've got to wake up early and go straight to Cheras for some good deeds =) Will get back to you guys as soon as possible. Nite!