I know this is such a personal thing to blog about but I just feel like writing. I had a falling out with a friend yesterday. I made her cry and I did not feel sorry for that at all. I just wanted to help but she would not listen, what else can I do? I’m not trying to be a terrible gossipmonger or anything; I just do whatever I think the best for her. There’s nothing wrong with it. But why and why and WHY at the end of the day, I got pinned on? Anybody has the answer? Well, she said because I have not as yet fallen in love with anybody. ‘Sebab kau tak pernah rase mcm ni! Kau tak pernah sayang Max!’ Haha! Wow.. it cracked me up like hell. That was absolutely a crap!
Sa|2ah (not a real name) just got back from Australia last year and she has been in a relationship with J0hn ever since. J0hn is her best friend since they were in standard 6 kot. The problem is, Sa|2ah’s parents are the we-will-not-allowed-our-daughter-to-have-a-boyfriend-until-she-gets-into-univeristy type of people. So her parents do not know about them. On a more negative note, both of them have gone too far. Not that they have sex or anything but it just something that is not pleasant to ears and not a good sight for eyes. Heh ayat cam best je. Anyways, I did talk to her sometimes, more to a reminder. And she kept saying ‘Aku tau la jaga diri aku sendiri. Aku tau mana yang baik and buruk. Ko tak faham la dina. Ko memang takkan faham. Ko tak payah risau. Aku pun tanak bapak aku tanggung dosa aku’ Hmm.. tak faham macam mana ek? Why is the sky blue? Or why is the tree green? Heh..you pick ;p
Well, I believed her. But not until I found out that she lied. We went for a drink and lepak2 kat kedai mamak the other day and I happened to pilfer her handphone. NO, I’M NOT A THIEF. I just wanted to know what was actually happening around. And that was when I got to know that they often met each other and well, I hate to say this but they just did something unacceptable; something that were not ‘tanak bapak aku tanggung dosa’ kinds of thing. I felt disappointed and frustrated that a friend of mine who was so baik and ‘suci’ did involve in such things. Tak tahulah kan tapi aku sangat pantang dan benci org couple yg duk buat zina di khalayak ramai. And the problem is, those people do not know that all those ‘small’ things that they do are actually categorized as ‘zina’. I did tell her about that but it did not seem to work. And I have to state here that J0hn is not a good guy. He smokes (well, I just hate smokers), he does not concern about his prayers at all (I doubt if he ever gone for Solat Jumaat), I don’t know if he ever drank or anything but he is just not good. At least he is not good for Sa|2ah la.
Entah macam mana ntah, her parents had finally found out about her and J0hn. I don’t know what did her parents do but she called me the other day, told me everything. Her parents were so pissed and she sobbed like hell that I barely heard what she said. Heh.. Tapi nak sedapkan hati buat2 dengar je la kan ;p But I knew then that she was lamenting over what she did. She told me that she appreciated every word I spilled to her and couldn’t be more thankful without them. I was glad to hear that, felt happy for her for FINALLY realized everything. BUT, it does not stop there. Last week, my other friend called me and said Sa|2ah and J0hn are still meeting each other up. That did not really tick me off because I think she really needs time to do some makeovers but you know, when I rang her up like zillion times and she did not answer me and when I found out that she keeps meeting that repellent dud, I felt upset. I don’t know why but she is not who she is now.
So I called her with my dad’s number and she did answer the call. That was how everything got started. I don’t mind if she said ‘Ko memang selfish!’ or ‘Ko nak smua org faham kau tapi ko tak pernah nak faham org lain’ or ‘U will never understand dina because you’re heartless’ or whatever. I really don’t mind. I tried to understand her feelings and her situation that she’s confronting now but one thing I could not accept was when she said ‘You know what dina. Kau memang tak berhati perut, suka masuk campur hal orang padahal diri sendiri tak terjaga. Now I know why Max hates you so much’. I was like…. ‘SORRRY misss??!!’ maka berlakulah perang besar. Haha.. Aku paling benci nak gaduh or marah2 orang lebih2 lagi dgn kawan sendiri tapi… ntahla. I just tried to be concern about her. I don’t want her to lose the real grip. If I was really selfish and all I think and care about is just me, then I would not have to get involved in all this crap in the first place. I’ve got loads of other things to bother. But different person has different way of approach right? All I can do is just pray to Allah; may she accept everything with an open heart.
You know what; I have always believed that love will never be able to be understood. It either makes you happy or sad. The thing is, you can’t choose both one and you’ll never know which one will you get in the end. I did ask Dad, if you have two ways with different outcomes, which one will you choose. Dad said, ‘Take both because one has ample time to be regretful if he or she took the wrong path. That is why God gives us a room to improve and be a better soul.’ I agree with that and I myself do believe that no matter which path you take, there’s always a positive side underneath it. Everything happens for a reason. BUT somehow, if you are already aware with the drawbacks of either way that you’ll face at the end of the line, why do you go for it in the first place? WHY??! And can you assure yourself that you still have AMPLE time to be regretful? If death came with a faster pace, what other choice do you have?
This morning I sms-ed her ‘I did love Max wholeheartedly but he made me loved myself even more. I don’t want to suffer because of love. It’s not worth suffering.’ and yea, of course she did not reply. You know what; I hope, just hope that one fine day, she’ll come across me and say ‘You are right, dina. I was a fool back then. I should have listened to you’. But no matter how hard she explains, I will never understand…
Sa|2ah (not a real name) just got back from Australia last year and she has been in a relationship with J0hn ever since. J0hn is her best friend since they were in standard 6 kot. The problem is, Sa|2ah’s parents are the we-will-not-allowed-our-daughter-to-have-a-boyfriend-until-she-gets-into-univeristy type of people. So her parents do not know about them. On a more negative note, both of them have gone too far. Not that they have sex or anything but it just something that is not pleasant to ears and not a good sight for eyes. Heh ayat cam best je. Anyways, I did talk to her sometimes, more to a reminder. And she kept saying ‘Aku tau la jaga diri aku sendiri. Aku tau mana yang baik and buruk. Ko tak faham la dina. Ko memang takkan faham. Ko tak payah risau. Aku pun tanak bapak aku tanggung dosa aku’ Hmm.. tak faham macam mana ek? Why is the sky blue? Or why is the tree green? Heh..you pick ;p
Well, I believed her. But not until I found out that she lied. We went for a drink and lepak2 kat kedai mamak the other day and I happened to pilfer her handphone. NO, I’M NOT A THIEF. I just wanted to know what was actually happening around. And that was when I got to know that they often met each other and well, I hate to say this but they just did something unacceptable; something that were not ‘tanak bapak aku tanggung dosa’ kinds of thing. I felt disappointed and frustrated that a friend of mine who was so baik and ‘suci’ did involve in such things. Tak tahulah kan tapi aku sangat pantang dan benci org couple yg duk buat zina di khalayak ramai. And the problem is, those people do not know that all those ‘small’ things that they do are actually categorized as ‘zina’. I did tell her about that but it did not seem to work. And I have to state here that J0hn is not a good guy. He smokes (well, I just hate smokers), he does not concern about his prayers at all (I doubt if he ever gone for Solat Jumaat), I don’t know if he ever drank or anything but he is just not good. At least he is not good for Sa|2ah la.
Entah macam mana ntah, her parents had finally found out about her and J0hn. I don’t know what did her parents do but she called me the other day, told me everything. Her parents were so pissed and she sobbed like hell that I barely heard what she said. Heh.. Tapi nak sedapkan hati buat2 dengar je la kan ;p But I knew then that she was lamenting over what she did. She told me that she appreciated every word I spilled to her and couldn’t be more thankful without them. I was glad to hear that, felt happy for her for FINALLY realized everything. BUT, it does not stop there. Last week, my other friend called me and said Sa|2ah and J0hn are still meeting each other up. That did not really tick me off because I think she really needs time to do some makeovers but you know, when I rang her up like zillion times and she did not answer me and when I found out that she keeps meeting that repellent dud, I felt upset. I don’t know why but she is not who she is now.
So I called her with my dad’s number and she did answer the call. That was how everything got started. I don’t mind if she said ‘Ko memang selfish!’ or ‘Ko nak smua org faham kau tapi ko tak pernah nak faham org lain’ or ‘U will never understand dina because you’re heartless’ or whatever. I really don’t mind. I tried to understand her feelings and her situation that she’s confronting now but one thing I could not accept was when she said ‘You know what dina. Kau memang tak berhati perut, suka masuk campur hal orang padahal diri sendiri tak terjaga. Now I know why Max hates you so much’. I was like…. ‘SORRRY misss??!!’ maka berlakulah perang besar. Haha.. Aku paling benci nak gaduh or marah2 orang lebih2 lagi dgn kawan sendiri tapi… ntahla. I just tried to be concern about her. I don’t want her to lose the real grip. If I was really selfish and all I think and care about is just me, then I would not have to get involved in all this crap in the first place. I’ve got loads of other things to bother. But different person has different way of approach right? All I can do is just pray to Allah; may she accept everything with an open heart.
You know what; I have always believed that love will never be able to be understood. It either makes you happy or sad. The thing is, you can’t choose both one and you’ll never know which one will you get in the end. I did ask Dad, if you have two ways with different outcomes, which one will you choose. Dad said, ‘Take both because one has ample time to be regretful if he or she took the wrong path. That is why God gives us a room to improve and be a better soul.’ I agree with that and I myself do believe that no matter which path you take, there’s always a positive side underneath it. Everything happens for a reason. BUT somehow, if you are already aware with the drawbacks of either way that you’ll face at the end of the line, why do you go for it in the first place? WHY??! And can you assure yourself that you still have AMPLE time to be regretful? If death came with a faster pace, what other choice do you have?
This morning I sms-ed her ‘I did love Max wholeheartedly but he made me loved myself even more. I don’t want to suffer because of love. It’s not worth suffering.’ and yea, of course she did not reply. You know what; I hope, just hope that one fine day, she’ll come across me and say ‘You are right, dina. I was a fool back then. I should have listened to you’. But no matter how hard she explains, I will never understand…
8 comments:
try to be in her place and justify what she just did.
I mean, sometimes, she is right and vice versa.
Anyway, be sympathetic. You are very lucky, ya know~ VERY. To have such a friend to remind you not to make the same mistake.~ (directly or indirectly)..
Anyway, wtf.
it happens deyna, sometimes ppl don't see what they did or the situation they are in are ruining themselves. (reminding myself as well). i got one friend, and me and my other friends collectively think that her behaviour changes sejak dpt bf baru. and we talked to her but after a while we realised that its not gonna change anything....we just let her be. but i have to admit that 'things' have change between us, we are more distant with each other and somehow, cruelly...i don't regret it.
i thot u'll never blog about this. aku tau ko sgt frust but that is what she wants, kite takleh wat pape. actly john tu baik senornye maybe family background die tak mcm kite. give her some times n then ckp laa baik2 dgn die.maybe everything has gotten so deep that she cant easily put john aside n she needs more time to get over it..be patient ok
anonymous- ive tried everything i could. i tried to be in her shoes, i did not mind she said bad things about me, i tried to accept her in any way i could but patience has its own limit. i respect her and expect to be respected but she doesn't. how sympathetic i should be then?? i just dont quite get it with ur statement '..to remind u not to make the same mistake directly or indirectly..' the thing is, we're not talking bout my mistake here :) i doubt there is any to be talked about. thanx for ur comment nway
teek- yep, true. they think that everything they do is right and other people are wrong. they just cannot accept what other people say because they feel that people are going against them which is definitely an adverse thought. u noe wut, i don't regret it too but somehow deep inside, i feel sorry for her decision. btw, good to see ur comment here teek :) thanx
sya- yea, i shouldnt have posted this up but i dont noe, i thought spilling it out makes me feel much better and it apparently does. i didnt say john is 'BAD', but she's too good for him. she could even find someone waaaay much better. ive put so much time on it, what can i do is just let her decide everything for herself. i dont want to waste my time for someone who does not know how to appreciate other people. and if she had to face a bad consequence, let her confront it all by herself. i dont mind if she asked for my help, but i'll put a second thought for it. i'm not trying to pay a revenge or anything, i just want her to feel bad for herself
hi Na,i do understand how u feel, u know, u r trying to help ur friend but she just resented that, and u feel bad abt that kan?, im sure it is reallly disappointing to see your friend treating you the way she did, relax Na, theres nothing to feel bad abt except to be sympathetic twrds ur friend, ive been through the exact situation, for your info, when it comes to this relationship and love thingy, people tend to get crazy, loco, mentally-unstabled and what ever word u want to use, believe me, ull understand it oneday...u did the right thing but still u cant blame ur friend for being such an ass-hole, hehe... she just cant see the clearer picture now, but she will, keep on praying for the best ok, n another thing, u seem like having a grudge abt this, i know it hurts n "if only she would just admit that she's wrong n im right", it will be very relieving,... Come on you r better than that, im sure the only person she would like to talk to when she realized all the wrong things shed done is u, sumtimes in life being the good guy is not a bad thing hehe, n the feeling is way2 much better...
n lastly i just want to say that ive been reading ur blog, n cam tak caye yg my sister dina yg lari2 tak pakai baju mase kecik2 dulu, yg nangis tak berhenti2 sampai pening kepala n annoying, yg terjatuh dalam longkang kat kampung, is writing all these wonderful n exciting stories, seriously walaupn cam geli2, i would say it anyway, im very proud of u n ko mmg dah besar, i think u've been an inspiration to most of the readers out there, good job and keep up the good work, bagi tau nazme and salma uncle luis ade surprise utk diorg k, n dont get confused with the other anonymous guy k, saje nak kasi mysterious sket..miss ya...
first anonymous~
be sympathetic = don't condemn her, offer her your pity, deepest regret, condolences, etc~ by the way, your criticsm will only bring her justifications, doesn't matter how 200% right you are. for human, (yes that means you, me, the posters above and your friend too), have pride to protect to. Even we are clearly wrong, we are tend to justify what we did. So, in short, you still can criticize her, but hopefully in a smart way, in a way, that it is not you who make her realize what she did wrong, but she herself.
(take note, that what I have just written above is considered as criticsm so, I'll be waiting your justification ^ ^).
yeah of course we are not talking about you. Anyway sorry to write things that are so vague, coz it's my style~ the same mistake in this context means don't do what she just did. For example, "My friend went home using that route. He got robbed." Isn't that mean, that you should not repeat your friend's mistake by NOT using that route?
Sure, people mmg susah nak telan advice. So, be smart. Be calm. Be, hmmm whatever that will produce good results.
(p/s: write an angry letter to her and then lock it inside your drawer. In two days, you open back and reread. Most of the time, you will throw back your letter into the dustbin and rewrite a new one~) -(I dont know what the moral of this story, but sure must be something...)
(pp/s: anyway, second anonymous, I think I like you~ ^ ^)
uncle luis- thanx pi. igtkan sape tibe ckp pasal org x pakai baju mase kecik2. haha.. eh yg jatuh dlm longkang tu anid laaa!! hahaha busuk je. nway, thanx for ur words. mmg geli2 pun blog ni haha but i'm trying to improve myself thru it. budak tu dah ckp sorry dah and na mmg dah maafkan die n tak salahkan die pun cuma na rase cam biar la die dah besar pandai2 ah bawak diri malas nak masuk cmpur hal org dah. keje BIO byk x siap. haha.. mane aci salma ngan nazme je ade surprise!! hehe..okeh, enjoy ur time in london. krm salam abg amir n aini ^_^
anonymous- i dont really feel to justify myself at right this moment. dont worry, i got what u meant even tho i don't really agree with a bit part of it but thanx for spending ur time to drop a comment here n i really appreciate it. the gurl just asked for my apology and everything is gona be ok. hopefully...
yeah, thank you for arguing.
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