The Verity Of Judgment

“It’s not wrong to have feelings because they are meant for human beings. Being able to feel means being a normal person. The problem with it is, it doesn’t always happen at the right time..”

0113am 291207 Room124, Berj@y@ Eden H0tel, L0nd0n.

Wowwee.. it has been almost 3 years of blogging now. It’s Dec 29 already and by the time I key this in it would probably be the last day of the year 2007. ‘How time flies so fast’. That’s the most often used quote I’ve ever had for this year and probably for some more years to come. I know it’s quite late for me to merepek at right this hour but I just have so many things in head that need to be let out, kalau tak mmg tak boleh tido. Since I left my camera at Leicester and I’m in no access to surf the net for any blog update, I had no choice but to grab a pen and this piece of paper and started crapping like normal. Hehe..

Anyways, it has been two weeks of holiday already and I have two weeks left before the hols end and 3 weeks away to my exam (&^%$#@#$%^&*!!!!!). The reason why I really dislike long holidays is, the moment it ends is much much worse than having no holiday at all. Seriously. I’d rather have at least 5-day break than having 5 weeks off. I’ve been trying to cope with it ever since I was in college but nothing seems to be quite helpful. But I really have no choice and have to live with it as it is.

Now I’m back in this old little place called Leicester. Despite the dreadful feelings I have over long holidays, the Ireland-London trip was what I really needed after 3 months of the so-called ‘new life’ in Leicester though I have to go through without my kekasih hati beside. Sob2..

Cork and Ireland as a whole was SANGAT BEST!!!! Even though I couldn’t join my friends to a programme in Dublin and a trip to Turkey, I really had a superb time of my own with mum, anid, icah n lupi. I really don’t know how to describe every single detail of my trip because I’m a real hopeless in describing things but all in all, I really LOVED so much and I was really glad to receive such warm and pleasant hospitality from the people.

I had the chance to meet Malaysian doctors who have been working in Ireland for years. It was quite pressurising when they talked about the no-time-for-yourself situation mostly all the time and all exams they have to sit for. But it was rather inspiring to a further extent especially when they talked about the interesting part of being a doctor and the gains they have got in return. Banyak experience yg diorg share most of which I’ve never heard of before so memang menarik and encouraging sangat2. That’s that part. The scenery kat Ireland pun sangat cantik. Very green, calm, peaceful and beautiful. Memang best la.

Leicester has been a place that I really like too. The people, the M@l@ysian S0ciety, the murah-ness of the standard of living, the med school, my groupmates etc. I really had great 3 months in Leicester. But being a weirdo like me who has a strange psychological needs always demands odd things I rarely got the chance to have. The problem with me is, I can’t keep on staying at one place with the same set of people for a long time. I need to get out of the place and be in another completely different place with different set of people around.

When I was in college, I had my $FC$ friends, fellow bloggers and the E$Q team to distract my mind for a while when my capacity of handling college life reached its max level. But here in Leicester, I hardly have anyone to turn to in that sense. That’s why I was extremely happy when Mr. Tiger dropped me a comment. Rasa mcm alive sikit la hidup. Baru thrill. Poyo la sikit tp betul apa. Heh.. Fortunately mum brought me to Ireland and rescued me from severe depression. Cewah.. But I truly needed that trip and Alhamdulillah, although I really hate to see this moment comes to its end, I’m more than delightful to keep on moving and fight for my dreams.

Actually, I’m still indecisive whether or not to post this entry up but for once, I’m not intending to pretend and lie to myself because this is what I really feel inside. I know it’s quite unfair to say this but if and only if I’ve ever got a chance to choose, I’d rather be in C0rk with lupi and those great people around. I’m a human being and it’s normal to have unlimited desires but I know and I’m aware of the boundaries. I can’t be greedy. I can’t be ungrateful. I can’t be demanding. In fact, everything that I have now is not even mine so yea, I’m more than thankful to be here in Leicester..

I know I’m not a new-year-new-resolutions kind of person. I don’t do resolutions because I have none. But there’s only one thing I really hope I could get a strong grip on for at least one year before I get it renewed next year and that is to have this strong feeling of insights and encouragements and hoping them to last longer than I expected them to be.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE. May you have a great venture into 2008. Ingatlah satu tahun tu ada 365 hari. Dan satu hari ada 24jam. Tak lebih tak kurang. Jadi, gunakanlah sebaik2nye, ok? ;)

“Yet, realising it to take place at the wrong time means you’re still in the verity of judgment..”

P/S: Kalau tak termuntah gak tgk gmbr yg banyak ni, x taula nak cakap ape.