Sunday, December 09, 2007

O Sun, Where Art Thou?

It’s been raining and cloudy all day. Not seeing the Sun for a day is quite depressing to be honest. But I have to get used to it. People always say, ‘it’s all in your mind. Your mind controls everything.’ Oh well, I’m not quite sure about that but I think it’s true, to some extents. I just don’t think it’s true when this moody weather could actually affect my emotions, no matter how hard I struggled to keep myself ecstatic and joyful because it didn’t quite work.

I have a problem with my accommodation since my sponsor amended their policy on our allowance especially when they abolished the 60:40 policy. Not to be lucky, I was sort of designated to stay in a deluxe room, a more expensive room, even though my application form stated standard room. Have I had no choice, I proceeded with the agreement and I have to pay extra £300+ in total, for 42 weeks (or in easier words, until I finish my first year study) which obviously too much, though I got to enjoy the space and the luxury. So I appealed to get a room transfer, from deluxe to standard room. It has been 3 months since I sent in the form and only to receive the reply from the accommodation office two days ago.

I was quite excited in the first place when I got the email. But I also had the thought of not carrying on the plan at the back of my mind. Ye la, nak kena repack n re-unpack barang, nak kena tukar alamat bank and whatnot, it’s a hell of a job really. But just thinking about the extra money that I have to pay, I compelled myself to go on with the plan. So I viewed the room, and the flat as a whole. The room was ok, just as what I expected though the flat was a tad bising with lagu yg dipasang dgn kuatnye. But the kitchen on the other hand was very disappointing. It was horribly filthy and stank to high heaven. I immediately decided to not move into that misery. Just as I was depressed with my financial state, I don’t think things would be any better if I moved into the room with messy kitchen. So yea, I really need to keep my head above water now. Sigh..

And not enough with that, I have other problems with this one chap pulak. Haih.. no, I’m not intending to mengeluh or mengadu kat sesape so I won’t write anything about it here. But I’m really emotionally affected right now and I can’t think straight anymore. Tadi ada study group and I was supposed to present two topics (G6PD deficiency and PKU) but I was terribly messed up. I didn’t prepare anything until 30 minutes before the session. Teruk gile perangai. I know it was my fault. And I’m really disappointed with myself. Kesian kat diorg td sbb aku mcm gelabah n tahpape je tadi. Haih..

However I’m feeling right now, I just hope things would be gone by tomorrow. I seriously need to study before the break next week. I HAVE TO!~ Bertahan dina!!~ Say NO to distractions! Yeah!~
Dear stranger.. sorry for everything n anything. I was not supposed to take it personally but I couldn’t help it. I was and still am in the middle of recovering from my emotional ailment when you came into scene. So it was quite hard for me to pretend like nothing happened. I PROMISE you I would find my bearings and get my head straight and I hope the same thing in return. I hope everything ends here and things would go back to normal. No hard feelings, ok? I'm so sorry..

2 comments:

Tok Rimau said...

Kat sini pun hujan. Banjir di 3 negeri. Johor, Pahang, Kltn.

Bilakah mentari kan muncul?

deynarashid said...

I'm sorry to hear the news. Doalah spy mentari kan muncul satu hari nnt.