Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Back on reading journals..

Two days ago, I slept at 5.45am in the morning. Yes, I stayed up until dawn. Of course with the help of the caffeine. Studying. Then I took a nap until 8.30am. Then I went to my lecture, Dissesting Room bla bla bla..

Yesterday, I slept at 11.32pm. Only to find that I was awakened by a shaking building at almost 1 oclock in the morning. Earthquake. Yes, there was an earthquake. Some people evacuated the building. But I chose to jump onto my bed and continued my sleep. My alarm went off several times but I just could not bother. I was very tired. Then I woke up at 8.30am this morning. I skipped my shower, ironed my baju n tudung and went straight to the lecture.

Today, I got back to my room at 1.03pm. Called mum on skype to tell her about the earthquake. Then I accidentally fell asleep until 5.28pm. Now, my kepala is very pening and I’m in no mood to do anything. Study. ‘Berkempen’. Contact my consultant. Revision. No, I am just not in the mood.

So I continued reading my current favourite online journal. I had posted up about Dr. M@x’s loss of her son some times ago [click here]. Banyak kali aku nangis bila baca kisah Dr. M@x ni. Pastu ntah macam mana aku boleh bukak balik journal tu couple of days back and tergerak hati untuk baca entry Dr. M@x dari awal, since 2000. That was like what, 8 years ago?

I don’t know how to describe but reading the journal makes me think about smorgasbord of things. Nak dijadikan cerita, Dr. M@x ni kalau tak silap study dekat King’s College London. Memang kecik dunia. Probably one or two year senior Along Ima. Then she went back to Malaysia and served in public hospital.

For your info, I do follow some medical series on the tv like Grey’s Anatomy, House, dulu ikut la jugak ER and what have you. But they are just dramas. Unreal. Lama2 aku muak dengan drama2 tv ni. Manipulative betul. Tapi aku suka tengok how the real situations in hospitals je. Tapi takdela real sangat sebab tu semua drama je lebih. Tapi bila baca journal Dr. M@x ni, buat aku rasa “OMG!!”

Aku terfikir..
“betul ke aku nak jadik doc ni?”

“aku nak sambung internship kat uk ke mesia?”

“aku ni nak specialise in ape?”

“aku mampu ke nak berhadapan dengan serangan emosi bila patient aku meninggal? bila aku berhadapan dengan kematian?”

“aku mampu ke nak berhadapan dengan hidup yang &^$$%#%&*(&^%$# bila jadi doc nnt?”

“aku ni baru je masuk second sem and I have like what, 4.5 years to go before gradute? Mampu ke aku berhadapan dengan segala dugaan?”

“mampu ke aku bagi full commitment kat kerja? Family?”

[286] Allah does not lay a responsibility on anyone beyond his capacity. (2:286)

Sabar. Kuat semangat. Erti hidup pada memberi. I try to instil that in mind.
Ni baby bro. wazari. Comel horror kan?? Comel sangat! MasyaAllah! Aku selalu berangan nak tangkap gmbar anak2 aku mcm ni nanti. Nak buat portfolio khas untuk anak2. Apa??!! Anak2???! Oh!~ hah hah..

p/s: Masa angah aya tengah mengandungkan adam, angah aya buat announcement kat satu family nak bagi nama anak dia ‘adam’. Adam bin Shahril Azam. Senang nak panggil katanya. Tak macam Salma Aida. Banyak versi panggilan. Che Sal. Salma. Aida. Heh.. Lepastu nadhrah [a.k.a anid] tak puas hati. Sebab dia pun nak bagi nama anak dia adam. Lepastu angah aya kata, “Hey, carik nama laki dulu la before carik nama anak..” Hah hah hah.. Oh, rindunye kat baby adam!!

UPDATE (28 FEB 2008, 1908): Adik Dr. M@x ni m@t j@n rupenye!! Alahai.. kecik sangat dunia ni..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Earthquake? yea, i read it on the newspaper. Siap ada nama Leicestershire lagi. Glemer tuuu.

Anak2? Dina? Anak2 dina? LOL.

Cari laki dulu dik :B

deynarashid said...

ya Allah.. cuba sekali tak payah jeles boleh x? chill boleh x?

angan2 n cita2 tu penting. 'without a dream, how can u have a dream come true?' haaaaa tuu diiaaa. haha..