Finally, I’m not tied up to the responsibilities of a housecaptain anymore. It’s kinda relief actually as I no longer need to think unnecessary things but stepping down leaves me with another big errand which is just as important. I’ve never thought that choosing the right people to be in the house committee is going to be hard, I mean really hard especially the one who’s going to be my apprentice. Mula2 macam tak nampak sesiapa bleh pegang jawatan tu but came to think of it, why not we just give them the chance to prove us wrong. Of course it’s unfair to them to be judged that way but you know, I’m actually very worried to pass the task to someone who’s not capable enough. But yea, let’s just give them the opportunity.
Last year, when my name was called as the housecapt, I couldn’t believe myself and wondered what they actually see in me. Initially I didn’t have the confidence to hold the post because I couldn’t accept the fact that they actually had their trusts in me. Beberapa kali jugak aku decide untuk resign but was railed against by my committee so I called my intention to a halt and keep on trying and gave my best. And Alhamdulillah, along the way, I learnt a lot. I found something memorable that I couldn’t find elsewhere. To me, the period during which I was the housecapt was too precious and was definitely a gift for me towards improving myself. And being SOMEONE ELSE. Yep, I can feel that this is a new me =)
Sekarang ni macam2 sangat masalah kat kolej terutamanya masalah underground regarding the new $Cs and also problems with social life yang rase macam nak tembak je sorang2 budak2 bermasalah tu. Nak pilih MU$C0M pun pening kepala sebab taktau calon mane yang betul2 layak. Sekarang ni, bukan $C je yang kene pegi training, housecapt skali kene pergi – betapa nak menunjukkan junior2 ni memang kene di-brainwash. Sekarang ni k@mpung $eber@ng makin besar so port dating pun makin berleluasa. Chalet kosong banyak, jadik port tengok movie mengarut2 and jadik port lepak laki perempuan. Budak2 FAMA pun makin ramai. Bukan nak kate diorang jahat tp merisaukan la especially bila dah dengar cerita yang laki masuk apartment perempuan tanpa segan silu. Pukul 2-3 pagi memang waktu active diorang berdua2an Ish.. Ntahla.. Ngeri la bila pikir2 balik.
Lepastu, haritu ada pulak kisah seorang n0n-muslim ni menjalankan dakwah Christianity kecil2an kat chalet. Aduhai.. Nasib baik budak muslim yang di-preach ni bgtau @qt@r maka @qt@r pun panggil dak n0n-muslim ni and ajak buat special discussion pasal Christianity. @qt@r memang dah buat research pasal comparative religion ni dari dulu because he used to be studying in a school with loads of Christian friends and he’s been admiring Ahmad Deedat dari dulu so memang banyak ilmu ar pasal comparative religion ni.
My point is to draw attention to the severity of social problems in college especially when the sense of fading away of Islamic culture has started to be felt. Risau sangat2.. Tapi nak buat mcm mane kan.. the seniors boleh tolong mane yg termampu je.
Cakap pasal comparative religion kan, aku rasa macam sangat2 la jahil and rase berdosa sangat sebab betapa ceteknye ilmu agama aku. Bila borak2 kat library pasal ni, memang rasa insaf sangat. And paling penting, rasa sangat bersyukur sebab dilahirkan and dibesarkan as a muslim. My chaletmate, a Christian Chinese, was one of those involved in the special discussion with @qt@r and what she told me about how she felt after the discussion brought me into a very deep thought.
She said, “You know what, now I only realize one thing. I don’t care about bible having contradictions; I don’t care about all those facts that I’ve never known before. What I really care is my relationship with God. I have a really strong belief in God so why must I bother about all those things. It’s good to know your religion well but I don’t want to go around the mess and confuse myself. What I really care is only my relationship with God. This kind of thing will never end. Everything seems very puzzling. Now, @qt@r told me the downside of Christianity. Let’s say if I were to convert to Islam, there must be a person to tell me the downside of Islam. In the end, it’s not the religion that is wrong, but it’s myself whom is wrong in the first place. So I don’t want to upset my beliefs just because of all this.. But I appreciate what @qt@r said because it in a way opens my eyes to the truth..”
Every word that slipped through her tongue had put me in a very deep trance. I came to think so many things that in the end I myself couldn’t answer some of the questions I had in mind. She concerns too much about her relationship with God and aku terfikir, if she were to be a muslim and see the real beauty of Islam, she could have appreciated her relationship with God even more. I could sense from her saying and from her gestures that she is really in search of something. Tapi tu la, hanya Allah yang berkuasa untuk memberi hidayah kepada sesiapa yang Allah kehendaki.
@qt@r told me, he couldn’t sleep that night, after the special discussion he had with those people. He thought deeply how his words might change someone else’s belief and he repented over how Nabi Muhammad underwent even hardest obstacles. Betapa sabarnye Nabi Muhammad nak sebarkan dakwah. Memang la orang selalu kate “Nabi lain laa..” memang la lain in a sense that he’s a prophet tapi sepatutnya kena la jadikkan Nabi sebagai contoh. Ni tak, selalu nak bagi alasan yang ‘kite ni manusia biasa, memang la banyak dosa’ tanpa segan silunye. Dah tau banyak dosa tanak pulak bertaubat. Astaghfirullah.. Bila pikir2 balik, banyak lagi masalah yang dihadapi oleh umat islam kat dunia luar tapi kita tak ambil kisah sangat. Macam aku laa.. Sob2..
Hmm… Sebenarnya banyak lagi benda nak cakap tapi macam blur sebentar. Dah tengah malam ni.. And belum packing lagi. Esok nak balik =) YAY!! Aku dapat balik awal sebab ada hal hari jumaat ni. Actually, Allah dah gerakkan hati aku untuk join E$Q tr@ining which is starting this Friday until Sunday. So, terpakse la skip kelas hari jumaat. InsyaAllah aku akan share sedikit sebanyak ilmu yang aku dapat daripada training tu.
Last year, when my name was called as the housecapt, I couldn’t believe myself and wondered what they actually see in me. Initially I didn’t have the confidence to hold the post because I couldn’t accept the fact that they actually had their trusts in me. Beberapa kali jugak aku decide untuk resign but was railed against by my committee so I called my intention to a halt and keep on trying and gave my best. And Alhamdulillah, along the way, I learnt a lot. I found something memorable that I couldn’t find elsewhere. To me, the period during which I was the housecapt was too precious and was definitely a gift for me towards improving myself. And being SOMEONE ELSE. Yep, I can feel that this is a new me =)
Sekarang ni macam2 sangat masalah kat kolej terutamanya masalah underground regarding the new $Cs and also problems with social life yang rase macam nak tembak je sorang2 budak2 bermasalah tu. Nak pilih MU$C0M pun pening kepala sebab taktau calon mane yang betul2 layak. Sekarang ni, bukan $C je yang kene pegi training, housecapt skali kene pergi – betapa nak menunjukkan junior2 ni memang kene di-brainwash. Sekarang ni k@mpung $eber@ng makin besar so port dating pun makin berleluasa. Chalet kosong banyak, jadik port tengok movie mengarut2 and jadik port lepak laki perempuan. Budak2 FAMA pun makin ramai. Bukan nak kate diorang jahat tp merisaukan la especially bila dah dengar cerita yang laki masuk apartment perempuan tanpa segan silu. Pukul 2-3 pagi memang waktu active diorang berdua2an Ish.. Ntahla.. Ngeri la bila pikir2 balik.
Lepastu, haritu ada pulak kisah seorang n0n-muslim ni menjalankan dakwah Christianity kecil2an kat chalet. Aduhai.. Nasib baik budak muslim yang di-preach ni bgtau @qt@r maka @qt@r pun panggil dak n0n-muslim ni and ajak buat special discussion pasal Christianity. @qt@r memang dah buat research pasal comparative religion ni dari dulu because he used to be studying in a school with loads of Christian friends and he’s been admiring Ahmad Deedat dari dulu so memang banyak ilmu ar pasal comparative religion ni.
My point is to draw attention to the severity of social problems in college especially when the sense of fading away of Islamic culture has started to be felt. Risau sangat2.. Tapi nak buat mcm mane kan.. the seniors boleh tolong mane yg termampu je.
Cakap pasal comparative religion kan, aku rasa macam sangat2 la jahil and rase berdosa sangat sebab betapa ceteknye ilmu agama aku. Bila borak2 kat library pasal ni, memang rasa insaf sangat. And paling penting, rasa sangat bersyukur sebab dilahirkan and dibesarkan as a muslim. My chaletmate, a Christian Chinese, was one of those involved in the special discussion with @qt@r and what she told me about how she felt after the discussion brought me into a very deep thought.
She said, “You know what, now I only realize one thing. I don’t care about bible having contradictions; I don’t care about all those facts that I’ve never known before. What I really care is my relationship with God. I have a really strong belief in God so why must I bother about all those things. It’s good to know your religion well but I don’t want to go around the mess and confuse myself. What I really care is only my relationship with God. This kind of thing will never end. Everything seems very puzzling. Now, @qt@r told me the downside of Christianity. Let’s say if I were to convert to Islam, there must be a person to tell me the downside of Islam. In the end, it’s not the religion that is wrong, but it’s myself whom is wrong in the first place. So I don’t want to upset my beliefs just because of all this.. But I appreciate what @qt@r said because it in a way opens my eyes to the truth..”
Every word that slipped through her tongue had put me in a very deep trance. I came to think so many things that in the end I myself couldn’t answer some of the questions I had in mind. She concerns too much about her relationship with God and aku terfikir, if she were to be a muslim and see the real beauty of Islam, she could have appreciated her relationship with God even more. I could sense from her saying and from her gestures that she is really in search of something. Tapi tu la, hanya Allah yang berkuasa untuk memberi hidayah kepada sesiapa yang Allah kehendaki.
@qt@r told me, he couldn’t sleep that night, after the special discussion he had with those people. He thought deeply how his words might change someone else’s belief and he repented over how Nabi Muhammad underwent even hardest obstacles. Betapa sabarnye Nabi Muhammad nak sebarkan dakwah. Memang la orang selalu kate “Nabi lain laa..” memang la lain in a sense that he’s a prophet tapi sepatutnya kena la jadikkan Nabi sebagai contoh. Ni tak, selalu nak bagi alasan yang ‘kite ni manusia biasa, memang la banyak dosa’ tanpa segan silunye. Dah tau banyak dosa tanak pulak bertaubat. Astaghfirullah.. Bila pikir2 balik, banyak lagi masalah yang dihadapi oleh umat islam kat dunia luar tapi kita tak ambil kisah sangat. Macam aku laa.. Sob2..
Hmm… Sebenarnya banyak lagi benda nak cakap tapi macam blur sebentar. Dah tengah malam ni.. And belum packing lagi. Esok nak balik =) YAY!! Aku dapat balik awal sebab ada hal hari jumaat ni. Actually, Allah dah gerakkan hati aku untuk join E$Q tr@ining which is starting this Friday until Sunday. So, terpakse la skip kelas hari jumaat. InsyaAllah aku akan share sedikit sebanyak ilmu yang aku dapat daripada training tu.
Tuhanku… daku hadir… daku pasrah
Mengenangkan diri ini yang penuh dosa
Tuhanku… ku sedari
Namun kealpaan menyelubungi
Lantas ku sujud menyerah pada-Mu
Agar disirami cahya kasih-Mu
Dikaulah harapanku
Dikaulah kekasihku
Dikaulah segalanya
Tempat ku mengadu… ku hadir pada-Mu…
Tuhanku… Kau pengasih… Kau pemurah
Mengurniakan daku rahmat dan kasih-Mu
Sungguh aku tak layak untuk Syurga-Mu
Namun tak pula sanggup untuk ke Neraka-Mu
Kerna itu ku sujud menyerah pada-Mu
Agar disirami cahya kasih
Tuhan selangkah ku rapat kepada-Mu
Seribu langkah Kau padaku
Ku tahu pengampunan-Mu melangit tinggi
Engkaulah… Engkaulah…
Ku hadir padamu-Mirwana
Mengenangkan diri ini yang penuh dosa
Tuhanku… ku sedari
Namun kealpaan menyelubungi
Lantas ku sujud menyerah pada-Mu
Agar disirami cahya kasih-Mu
Dikaulah harapanku
Dikaulah kekasihku
Dikaulah segalanya
Tempat ku mengadu… ku hadir pada-Mu…
Tuhanku… Kau pengasih… Kau pemurah
Mengurniakan daku rahmat dan kasih-Mu
Sungguh aku tak layak untuk Syurga-Mu
Namun tak pula sanggup untuk ke Neraka-Mu
Kerna itu ku sujud menyerah pada-Mu
Agar disirami cahya kasih
Tuhan selangkah ku rapat kepada-Mu
Seribu langkah Kau padaku
Ku tahu pengampunan-Mu melangit tinggi
Engkaulah… Engkaulah…
Ku hadir padamu-Mirwana
Wallahu’alam.
No comments:
Post a Comment