They will always be..

Ok, I’ll try to make this as short as possible because I actually have tones of homework that haven’t been done. But I don’t quite get why I’m so melancholic and emotive at right this moment. And I’m not sure why I’m posting this up [well, maybe because I know you guys would read this; whoever that is. Hmm..]

Roy texted me last night. He was with Kak Ila n Sya, on the way to their uncle’s house somewhere in the city. Im wasn’t with them for some reasons which I don’t want to know [hehe..] and I suddenly became just so emotional. I miss them so much somehow. Yes, that’s me and it couldn’t be helped anyway. I was getting some of my work done but the message obviously distracted my mind that I couldn’t continue with what I was doing. Luckily Sarah came by and we chatted till midnight. Yep, that happens when two girls get together and story trading couldn’t be avoided. Heh.. After she got back to her chalet, I continued with my work until God-knows-when. Then.. tak boleh tidor pulak.. Hmm.. macam biasa, berangan je la kan. Heh.. The funny part is, I don’t know what I was berangan-ing over [uh, buruknye bahasa saye..]. Tibe2 tertido dengan amannye..

Then I woke up this morning, feeling very dizzy sebab tido pukul brape tah malam tadi and did my prayer bla bla bla then continued with my work. Oh I’m not that hardworking, just to let you know. Hehe.. I’m super lazy to be exact. Sebab tu keje banyak tak siap. Haha.. Bile keje banyak tak siap and they need to be handed in by today memang la kelam kabut. Hmm.. [yet, I’m still typing this! OMG..].

Then, suddenly my mind got drifted away. Everything conjured up images of important people in my life. I called izy to mind and thought how I’m gona miss her once we’re apart even further. You know how I so believe in ‘chemistry’ and failing to see her boarding at the airport TWICE really gives me some sort of awkward feelings inside. The first one was because I couldn’t skip my classes and I was in my English class when she gave me a buzz few minutes before she took off. The second one was a bit.. how do you say.. ermm, takde jodoh la bak kate izy. Heh.. when she came by during the bangsawan, she and aimi slept over my chalet. The next morning, they asked me to join them to have lunch with man, amy n thirah somewhere in wangsa maju. I really wanted to join but nobody was able to send me back to college and I had a meeting that evening so yea, they left me behind. Sob2.. I told izy, ‘takpe izy, I’ll send you at the airport and we’re gonna meet later’ so we just salam2 ala2 kadar and they pulled off. To spice this up, I went to the esq training pulak and I got my last day training on the same day as izy’s leaving and I couldn’t send her to the airport and I didn’t know when on earth I’m gonna meet her again after this. And I’m sure gonna miss our shooting star :’( Well, at least I know she's doing alright in aussie.

Then, ramai lagi la yang aku tibe2 teringat kat diorang. One thing I realized is lately, I don’t have the guts to call thirah. Sebab kalau call mesti berjam2 lamenye. And bile dah cakap berjam2 lamenye, mesti rase macam rindu gile and terbayang2 saat2 aku nak fly nanti. Tak tahu macam mane nak berhadapan dengan saat2 itu. Tapi yang pasti, thirah wajib hantar kat airport la. Huhu.. And aku tak boleh nak cakap sendiri kat thirah yang aku sangat sedih bile dah berjauhan dgn die. And I’m not sure if I could find someone else who’s willing to listen to everything that I have to say and who understands me as much as she does. Hmm.. and I know she’ll read this so she must be knowing it by now. Heh.. and I’m sure die akan terharu. Haha..

Then tiba2 teringat kat kawan2 lain especially the ones who have me in their hearts. Hah.. ayat bajet mcm aku femes n disayangi je. Haha.. Tikah, yah, wani, kawan2 bangi dari kecik, kawan2 maahad yg aku pun taktahu diorg igt aku lg ke tak [hehe..] kawan2 langkawi, cikgu2 langkawi, cikgu wahida n family, and of course him who has always been there and my college friends especially my chalatemates and diamonders. Wah, sentimentalnye aku ni..

And lastly, the super important people in my life are of course my family. Hmm.. yesterday, I was a bit terkilan with myself because I didn’t see mum and salam mum before I left for college in the morning because mum wasn’t at home, pegi ceramah kat surau annur and dad was in a rush so he said takyah tunggu mum balik. Suruh sms je.. dalam kereta tu mate dah bergenang2 dah sbb tak jumpe mum before blk kolej. Tu la, sape suruh bangun lambat kan. Heh..But I got to talk to her anyway. Sampai kolej bergayut jugak. Huhu.. And then, on my way back to college, along ima rang me up. “Na, ni nazme nak cakap dgn mak na..” and I talked to Nazme. “Mak Na, nami nak tengok dinasour! Nak main poing poing!” [dinasour n poing2 ialah leisure activity aku dgn nazme. Sape yang main neopets tahu la. Haha.. childish nye aku. Huhu.. pernah jugak bg nazme tgk happy tree friends tapi amat violent smpai aku pun terase effectnye. Huhu..]. and spt biase, terbayang2 muke nazme, effa n aida and I just don’t know how I would face the moment when I have to see them for the last time before I get the next chance. And since I’m flying off this September [insyaAllah..], I won’t be able to see baby angah aya n kak sue and by the time I graduate, nazme dah darjah 2, effa n aida and the rest of my niece n nephew sume dah besar2. Waa.. sedih gile.. Hmm..

So, bile dah sedih2 n sentimental ni, aku pun menenangkan diri. I tried to bring back those experiences I had during esq training. Pak @ry kate, kalau sedih2, selalu ingat kat Allah.. Die kate selalu2 la bace “Laa ilaa ha illallaah..”. And aku pun tengok la balik video asmaul husna yang aku dapat free mase training tu. Heh.. And bile aku terpikir2 balik, aku tahu, Allah lebih sayang orang2 yang aku sayang. Walau sejauh mane aku rindu n sayang kat orang2 yang aku sayang, Allah lebih sentiasa sayang kat hamba2Nya. And when I’m away, further apart from them, I always believe that Allah will watch over them no matter what. Although what hurts me most is to not be able to be beside my beloved ones when they need me to be at their side, all I could do is just pray them for the best. And I know they know that I’ll always love them for the rest of my life..

and since I have class in a bit, I don't want to look dull so I snapped those pictures I have on my room's wall and that makes me better now :) Have a nice day ppl!