Saturday, February 11, 2006

It's the start..not the end

I’ve just come back from Muar just now. Reached Bangi around 8pm and then had our dinner at D’Limau Nipis in Seksyen 8. Oh I think I haven’t mentioned here that Anid got MRSM Ja$in. Being a persuasive person, Anid had finally got to visit her school-to-be after had been nagging Dad since the other day. Although it might be quite letting-down if you want to compare it with Langkawi, Ja$in is not that bad. Dekat dengan Tangkak so boleh la anid selalu balik kantin Pak Man kat Matriks Tangkak. Heh..

Anyways, talking about the SC results, as much as I felt I would not win, the sports exco posts were finally assigned to my other 2 rivals; Zu| and Sno0py. Zu| was my homeroom brother back in Langkawi and I believe he could do his work very well. I wasn’t surprised by the results though. The night before the results was announced, I was dreaming about Nazme. And here I am now, writing this post in my room with Nazme playing around.

The only thing that I felt very glad with the results was the people who got to be in the team as a whole. Most of the people that we had reckoned on to be in the SC members won the election. The moment Hiz@mi announced the five high posts, I could not stop myself but screaming like a nuts and telompat2 at the back of the hall. Haha.. Takde la, I was exaggerating. Hehe.. But deep inside, I was like that ;p

One secret that Zu| had told me during the election day is the only thing that I hope Zu| would come through. I’ve known him for about 4 years and I know which work he can do well and which work he needs people to help him on. Aku la yang nak kene layan kerenah die. Huhu.. But I think it’s time now for him to be more matured and knows how to handle things especially when it comes to this kind of responsibility. All in all, I’m glad he wins and I know I can depend on him after this. Hehe..

One thing that I learned from this is I can’t expect people to know how and what I feel about something. I can’t expect people to have the ability to read other people’s intentions. I mean, I know some of the new SC members just want to be in the team because they want to organize the induction week for the next junior intakes (because they told me so). Some of them just want to be in the team because of the personal statements (they told me this as well). Some of them just want to win the election because they think they should win after putting so much effort on the campaign. Don’t get me wrong. Of course I’m not jealous (not at all!) or want to give bad assumptions on them but the way they begging for votes and the way they desperately expressing themselves to me, I was quite frustrated by that. But after all, I hope after this, after carrying buckleloads of responsibilities on their shoulders they will learn what sincerity means and how important honesty is.

This lately, through out the campaigning week, I was quite disappointed with a person, R. I don’t want to say bad things about R here but I was very very upset and offended by what R did. Just imagine how nervous and edgy I was before my manifesto night and how messed up I was through out the week and R whose support I needed the most at that moment did not even wish me luck and did not even say a word for my manifesto. I know, that is so silly for me to get offended over but I could not help myself from being so sentimental and sensitive especially at that kind of time. Agak la kecewa and pasrah senornyer but ntahlaa..

Every time I saw R in college I tried to smile and pretended like I was living a wonderful life but to tell you the truth, that was the sore part of all, lying to myself. I always say to myself ‘Just don’t hate R. Don’t have to give R some time to realize everything but just let time put you through it’. Sometimes I feel like never wanting to meet R since the very beginning but then I believe that nothing is coincidence. God makes that moment for a reason so, just wait and see what the reason would be.

So, the SC result is what gives me hope to struggle more after this. The phrase ‘I play with a fear of letting people down’ is actually my strength to not letting Mum and Dad down. That’s my biggest hope and dream after all :)

Anyways, the sad news is, Izyan and Aimi have finally gone to Melbourne. I don’t want to write sad post about Izyan’s leaving but I will one day, say, in few months’ time bile dah rindu2 poyo2, tulis la kot. Heh.. The funny part is, Izy called me before she pulled off. The moment my phone actually vibrated without any sound was the moment when I was in the middle of my English class. Kalut laa duk belek2 fon tgk sape call rupenye Izy. Trus mintak permission nak pegi toilet. Naseb baek sempat ckp, kalo tak menangis tak belagu kot. Heh..

And another touching and emotive part is, there is one guy yg minat kat Izy, posted a shoutout at his friendster page ‘I hate goodbyes’. Dulu aku penah minat mamat ni tapi dah tak la. Lawak la pulak bile pikir2 balik. Haha.. tapi agak sedih la lagi2 orang tersayang dah pergi jauh. Hmm… SANGAT SEDIH when the person we love is light years away :’( even tak jauh pun sedih jugak because we have to let them go and hope they will come back. Hmm.. Mengarut!

Anyway, I’ve rearranged my room so it’s now more spacious than it was before. Lagi semangat nak tido than belajar. Haha ;p The most important part is gambar2 kat dinding tu. Hehe.. Pemberi semangat :) so that every day when I wake up, I’ll feel grateful for another beautiful day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

kjap kjap..ade sevrl Qs prompted in head.. i) R????tkde huruf lain? ii)ko minat mamat yg minat izyan?? iii)ko mmg pakai bed sheet same ke?tak pernah basuh?

rasanya tue je buat masa ni

Anonymous said...

maybe you're reserved for another post, who knows. jgn givap jer la

deynarashid said...

sya- i)takde. R hurup fevret :)
ii)a'ah..nape? tak boleh ke? perasaan tu tak boleh dielak nak wat camne. cinta itu buta ;p cewah!!! ayat poyo! hahaha..takdela..dulu la skrg dah tak..aku hepi gak kalo diorg get together. haha mati aku izyan tau ni
iii)tak. ade bed sheet lain gak. pernah basuh

trime kasih kerana bertanya

anon- siapakah kamu?! heh..ye baiklah. trime kasih atas nasihat anda :)