Last year, I heard about some of my acquaintances getting engaged. Some of them are my age, some are one and two years older. But now, I found out they didn’t make it. I don’t know why but I’ve never believed in the concept of ‘ikat’ as what most people do nowadays.
I chatted with N@i|i the other day. “Aku tak tahu la org lain mcm mane kan tp kalau aku ade suke orang, I will NEVER be the first to confess. Macam dalam buku ayat2 cinta tu kan, si hero tu kate kat nurul, ‘kalau kau bagitau awal sket drpd aisha, mesti aku tak pk 2 kali’. Maknenye mamat tu tunggu perempuan tu ckp dulu la kan. And aku takkan sampai bila2 tulis surat mcm nurul buat tu. Never man! Haha..” and she said, “Tu la kan. Ntahla, aku takut kalau aku confess kat salah laki, yang bukan suami aku nanti, aku rasa tak adil kat suami aku nanti..” and the thought didn’t stop there.
Aku teringat cerita sorang kawan ni, she used to like a guy so much. Mmg suke sangat smpai doa solat istikharah sume, first love la agaknye. And then, few days before she flew off to Australia, that guy confessed kate suke kat die and kononnye macam nak pompuan tu jadik girlfriend die something like that. Tapi minah tu tanak. Dia kate, tunggu la dulu die habes blaja dulu [buat accounting takpela 3 tahun. Huhu..] so mamat tu pon kate ok la. Yg si minah tu mmg dah hepi tahap mega la kan. Mane taknye, dah lame simpan sorg2, tibe2 mamat tu pun suke gak, sape tak angau. And then ntah mcm mane diorang lost contact kot. After minah tu grad, dapat keje sume, tibe2 ade sorg mamat lain nak masuk minang. Mamat tu officemate minah tu kalau tak silap. Minah ni duk bosan la tunggu mamat dulu tu contact balik tp x de pon. Kebetulan officemate yg nak masuk minang ni kire doing well jugak and dah establish sume, muke pon bleh tahan, bab2 agama pun ok gak, so minah ni dengan berat hatinye [sbb masih mengharap kat mamat dulu tu] menerima la mamat ni. Tibe2 on the day minah ni nak tunang, mamat lama tu tibe2 contact balik, ckp nak masuk line for the second time. Haha kesian kat minah tu kan. Tapi nak buat camne, tepakse la kate “Wei aku dah nak betunang baru nak masuk line!” lebeyh kurang camtu ar. Huhu.. Tapi the minah and the mamat now live happily ever after with keluarga masing2. Bak kate s@r@h, “Eh wujud jugak cite camni dalam real life. Ingat dalam drama n buku2 novel je..”
And ada lagi satu crita from Ustad P@hr0l masa bagi ceramah ‘tentang cinta’ dulu. Cerita lebih kurang je la. Ade sorg pilot ni, dulu mmg kaki pompuan. Pastu dia ade sorg awek mat saleh kot kalau tak silap. Pilot ni mmg sayang tak hengat kat awek die. Awek die mintak nak kawen tp si pilot ni kate die blom ready lagi, lain agama plak tu. Pastu ntah mcm mana, si pilot ni tiba2 dapat hidayah untuk kembali ke pangkal jalan so terpaksa la cakap babai kat awek die tu. Die punye la sedih cam hape sbb mmg sayang gile kat awek cun die tu. Pastu dia ada suruh sorang ustad tu carikkan isteri untuk die. “Tak kisah la ustad lawa ke tak, janji boleh jadik isteri solehah”, kata si pilot itu. “Betul tak kisah?”. “Betul ustad. Saya terima aje!”. So ustad tu pon carik la kan isteri untuk encik pilot yg segak tu. Lepastu, first time nak jumpe bakal isteri, si pilot ni mesti la bedebar2 kan. Sekali tu, aduhaiiiiii, luruh hati encik pilot tu sbb bakal isteri die mmg tak lawa. Sampai berkecai hati, maknenye mmg tak lawa sangat la tu. Terbayang2 awek cun die yg dulu tu. Tapi sebab die cekang, die pun kate “Ok la ok la. Aku x kesah, janji aku kawen.” First few years mmg encik pilot ni agak sedih n tak bahagia jugak ar sebab die masih x bleh lupe bekas awek die n isteri baru doesn’t make things any better. Tapi lama2, berkat kesabaran dia, akhirnye Allah tiupkan jugak rasa sayang dia kat isteri dia tu. Sekarang dah ada 5 anak dah. Huhu.. comel kan?
What I’m trying to point out here is, jodoh pertemuan tu di tangan Tuhan. Kalau tiba2 korang dapat kad jemputan ke majlis pertunangan Rushdina Sofia dgn mana2 jejaka bertuah tu, tak semestinye aku akan kawen dgn jejaka bertuah itu. Tapi harapnye kalau aku dah bertunang ng sorang laki, aku nak la kawen ngan die. Alang orang yg dah kawen pon bercerai, apetah lagi bertunang, apetah lagi ikat, apetah lagi cinta monyet!!!! Hah!
Semalam ada sorang kawan aku ni bising2 kat aku sbb dia kata dia tak suke cara Mu$c0m [kire macam Islamic body kat kolej ar] tegur orang kapel. Mungkin sebab dia terasa la kot. Mu$c0m bagi flyer pasal ‘Bestnye Couple’ konon2 nak bagi orang2 yg berkapel terasa tp ntahla, bagi aku yg tak terase ni pun aku tak suka cara pendekatan yg penuh sindiran n kata2 yg tak menyenangkan. Aku faham la niat diorang nak menyedarkan but to me, that’s not the right way to do and not the right words to say. Orang bukannya makin sedar, makin bengang and pandang serong kat diorg ade la. And ada lagi satu poster pasal kapel2 ni, ade soalan berbunyi: “Adakah perempuan yang pernah berkapel tidak akan dipandang oleh lelaki2 lain?” dan jawapan yg diberikan: “Mesti la tak. Yang first hand belambak2, sape nak perempuan second hand.” Isn’t that harsh? I mean, how could you say something like that? It doesn’t sound like helping at all and doesn’t give any room for those involved to repent. Tak tahu la. Mmg la bagus for them to at least take actions to prevent sins from coupling from widespread tapi mungkin boleh guna cara pendekatan and wordings yang lebih berhemah.
Cumanya, what I don’t understand is, what differentiates ‘couple’ from ‘ikat’ or ‘tunang’? To me, it’s just the same thing because as long as you’re not married, no matter what status you’re in, you’re still prohibited from doing things that married couple can do. Tapi sekarang ni, kalau kate ‘couple’ je, “Haaa dosa!!!” tapi kalau ‘ikat’, “Haa macam ni baru boleh!”. Tahpape kan? Ntahla.. aku mmg tak suke pandangan orang kalau kapel dosa tp kalau ikat ok. Just because it sounds more proper. Ish, mmg tak masuk akal. Ade je couple yang baik n orang dah tunang yg x baik. Alaa apa2 hal pun kalau niat nak kawen dah ade mmg jaga batasan, what’s the problem? Ade je yang tak declare kapel pon tapi duk bekepit 24 jam. “Eh kitorang tak kapel! Kitorg kawan je!”. Aduhai..
Ntahla.. Ok maybe I might be biased or whatever but to me, different person has different preferences and views so I’m talking on behalf of myself, not of other people. I’m not saying that couple is good. No, don’t get me wrong but neither I say that couple is bad. If you think tunang or ikat is acceptable, why is couple not? Ok aku faham la bertunang ni is masa untuk berkenalan dgn lebih baik sebelum kahwin, maknenye mmg dah confirm nak kawen kalau takde aral melintang. Tapi still, selagi tak kawen mane bleh bekepit n duk pegang2 sane sini. And I hate when others brand people like me as the ‘second hands’. What the ****? What do you know about second hand? Tolong la. Semua orang buat salah, buat dosa. Habis tu, kalau macam tu ape gunenye taubat kalau first hand n second hand berbeza? I just don’t get it. Please, get a life people. H@fiz [I used to use M@x konon2 nak elak die trace blog aku. takde beza pun Huhu..] had taught me a lot about life ok and I don’t regret even a bit being with him. It’s just that I’m learning in different ways, different pace. And stop being judgmental. You cannot expect other people to have the same frame of minds as you do. People think differently and although they might be wrong at one point or another, it’s their own way of learning. And their own way of repenting.
I’ve always thought that this topic is wasting my time and not worth thinking about but sooner or later I’m going to face marriage anyhow. Tu pon kalau kawen la. Hah hah.. insyaAllah, ameen. But that doesn’t mean that all these ‘love’ ‘relationships’ ‘engagement’ or ‘marriage’ things can be taken slightly. They are serious matters and it’s not gonna be easy once you’ve gotten the responsible as a wife, a husband, a mother or a father. I’ve seen so many cases that people are not happy with their families. And I’ve witnessed as well, those who had problems in the first place ended up living happily in the end. Tu semua Allah dah tentukan, betul tak? Yang penting, all we need to do is keep on praying hard and mudah2an Allah permudahkan urusan kita supaya dapat family yang baik2, yang soleh n solehah.
Oh ade lagi satu cerita kelakar, hari tu duk belek2 The Star ngan Ijun n B@d, tibe2 ade satu iklan gambar, "Ingin mencari janda umur 30an. Tiada anak takpe, ada sorang anak pun takpe. Tak kisah lawa ke tak, yang penting baik hati. Yang benar, encik Yus0f. Boleh hubungi di talian 01&@#%^*!$". Tegelak besar kitorang. Ade jugak orang desperate mcm tu kan. Kesian pakcik tu. Nak offer diri sniri, tak qualified plak, pakcik tu nak janda. Huhu.. dah2, merepek plak.
Jadi kesimpulannya, tak payah la sibuk2 nak carik cinta manusia yg selalu mengecewakan ni. Kejarlah cinta Allah yang Hakiki. Tapi jangan la pulak sampai tak kawen sebab berkahwin tu adalah sebehagian daripada penyempurnaan agama. Mmg Allah dah ciptakan manusia supaya ada perasaan sayang n cinta. And Allah dah berfirman dalam surah An-Naba', "Dan aku ciptakan manusia berpasangan." Aku ada terbaca kat mana ntah, berpasangan ni bukannya maksudnya lelaki n perempuan je. Kecik n besar, pendek n tinggi, gemuk n kurus tu berpasangan jugak. Betul tak? Ok, dah penat dah, nak tido. Esok kene pulun maths plak. Berusaha!~
I chatted with N@i|i the other day. “Aku tak tahu la org lain mcm mane kan tp kalau aku ade suke orang, I will NEVER be the first to confess. Macam dalam buku ayat2 cinta tu kan, si hero tu kate kat nurul, ‘kalau kau bagitau awal sket drpd aisha, mesti aku tak pk 2 kali’. Maknenye mamat tu tunggu perempuan tu ckp dulu la kan. And aku takkan sampai bila2 tulis surat mcm nurul buat tu. Never man! Haha..” and she said, “Tu la kan. Ntahla, aku takut kalau aku confess kat salah laki, yang bukan suami aku nanti, aku rasa tak adil kat suami aku nanti..” and the thought didn’t stop there.
Aku teringat cerita sorang kawan ni, she used to like a guy so much. Mmg suke sangat smpai doa solat istikharah sume, first love la agaknye. And then, few days before she flew off to Australia, that guy confessed kate suke kat die and kononnye macam nak pompuan tu jadik girlfriend die something like that. Tapi minah tu tanak. Dia kate, tunggu la dulu die habes blaja dulu [buat accounting takpela 3 tahun. Huhu..] so mamat tu pon kate ok la. Yg si minah tu mmg dah hepi tahap mega la kan. Mane taknye, dah lame simpan sorg2, tibe2 mamat tu pun suke gak, sape tak angau. And then ntah mcm mane diorang lost contact kot. After minah tu grad, dapat keje sume, tibe2 ade sorg mamat lain nak masuk minang. Mamat tu officemate minah tu kalau tak silap. Minah ni duk bosan la tunggu mamat dulu tu contact balik tp x de pon. Kebetulan officemate yg nak masuk minang ni kire doing well jugak and dah establish sume, muke pon bleh tahan, bab2 agama pun ok gak, so minah ni dengan berat hatinye [sbb masih mengharap kat mamat dulu tu] menerima la mamat ni. Tibe2 on the day minah ni nak tunang, mamat lama tu tibe2 contact balik, ckp nak masuk line for the second time. Haha kesian kat minah tu kan. Tapi nak buat camne, tepakse la kate “Wei aku dah nak betunang baru nak masuk line!” lebeyh kurang camtu ar. Huhu.. Tapi the minah and the mamat now live happily ever after with keluarga masing2. Bak kate s@r@h, “Eh wujud jugak cite camni dalam real life. Ingat dalam drama n buku2 novel je..”
And ada lagi satu crita from Ustad P@hr0l masa bagi ceramah ‘tentang cinta’ dulu. Cerita lebih kurang je la. Ade sorg pilot ni, dulu mmg kaki pompuan. Pastu dia ade sorg awek mat saleh kot kalau tak silap. Pilot ni mmg sayang tak hengat kat awek die. Awek die mintak nak kawen tp si pilot ni kate die blom ready lagi, lain agama plak tu. Pastu ntah mcm mana, si pilot ni tiba2 dapat hidayah untuk kembali ke pangkal jalan so terpaksa la cakap babai kat awek die tu. Die punye la sedih cam hape sbb mmg sayang gile kat awek cun die tu. Pastu dia ada suruh sorang ustad tu carikkan isteri untuk die. “Tak kisah la ustad lawa ke tak, janji boleh jadik isteri solehah”, kata si pilot itu. “Betul tak kisah?”. “Betul ustad. Saya terima aje!”. So ustad tu pon carik la kan isteri untuk encik pilot yg segak tu. Lepastu, first time nak jumpe bakal isteri, si pilot ni mesti la bedebar2 kan. Sekali tu, aduhaiiiiii, luruh hati encik pilot tu sbb bakal isteri die mmg tak lawa. Sampai berkecai hati, maknenye mmg tak lawa sangat la tu. Terbayang2 awek cun die yg dulu tu. Tapi sebab die cekang, die pun kate “Ok la ok la. Aku x kesah, janji aku kawen.” First few years mmg encik pilot ni agak sedih n tak bahagia jugak ar sebab die masih x bleh lupe bekas awek die n isteri baru doesn’t make things any better. Tapi lama2, berkat kesabaran dia, akhirnye Allah tiupkan jugak rasa sayang dia kat isteri dia tu. Sekarang dah ada 5 anak dah. Huhu.. comel kan?
What I’m trying to point out here is, jodoh pertemuan tu di tangan Tuhan. Kalau tiba2 korang dapat kad jemputan ke majlis pertunangan Rushdina Sofia dgn mana2 jejaka bertuah tu, tak semestinye aku akan kawen dgn jejaka bertuah itu. Tapi harapnye kalau aku dah bertunang ng sorang laki, aku nak la kawen ngan die. Alang orang yg dah kawen pon bercerai, apetah lagi bertunang, apetah lagi ikat, apetah lagi cinta monyet!!!! Hah!
Semalam ada sorang kawan aku ni bising2 kat aku sbb dia kata dia tak suke cara Mu$c0m [kire macam Islamic body kat kolej ar] tegur orang kapel. Mungkin sebab dia terasa la kot. Mu$c0m bagi flyer pasal ‘Bestnye Couple’ konon2 nak bagi orang2 yg berkapel terasa tp ntahla, bagi aku yg tak terase ni pun aku tak suka cara pendekatan yg penuh sindiran n kata2 yg tak menyenangkan. Aku faham la niat diorang nak menyedarkan but to me, that’s not the right way to do and not the right words to say. Orang bukannya makin sedar, makin bengang and pandang serong kat diorg ade la. And ada lagi satu poster pasal kapel2 ni, ade soalan berbunyi: “Adakah perempuan yang pernah berkapel tidak akan dipandang oleh lelaki2 lain?” dan jawapan yg diberikan: “Mesti la tak. Yang first hand belambak2, sape nak perempuan second hand.” Isn’t that harsh? I mean, how could you say something like that? It doesn’t sound like helping at all and doesn’t give any room for those involved to repent. Tak tahu la. Mmg la bagus for them to at least take actions to prevent sins from coupling from widespread tapi mungkin boleh guna cara pendekatan and wordings yang lebih berhemah.
Cumanya, what I don’t understand is, what differentiates ‘couple’ from ‘ikat’ or ‘tunang’? To me, it’s just the same thing because as long as you’re not married, no matter what status you’re in, you’re still prohibited from doing things that married couple can do. Tapi sekarang ni, kalau kate ‘couple’ je, “Haaa dosa!!!” tapi kalau ‘ikat’, “Haa macam ni baru boleh!”. Tahpape kan? Ntahla.. aku mmg tak suke pandangan orang kalau kapel dosa tp kalau ikat ok. Just because it sounds more proper. Ish, mmg tak masuk akal. Ade je couple yang baik n orang dah tunang yg x baik. Alaa apa2 hal pun kalau niat nak kawen dah ade mmg jaga batasan, what’s the problem? Ade je yang tak declare kapel pon tapi duk bekepit 24 jam. “Eh kitorang tak kapel! Kitorg kawan je!”. Aduhai..
Ntahla.. Ok maybe I might be biased or whatever but to me, different person has different preferences and views so I’m talking on behalf of myself, not of other people. I’m not saying that couple is good. No, don’t get me wrong but neither I say that couple is bad. If you think tunang or ikat is acceptable, why is couple not? Ok aku faham la bertunang ni is masa untuk berkenalan dgn lebih baik sebelum kahwin, maknenye mmg dah confirm nak kawen kalau takde aral melintang. Tapi still, selagi tak kawen mane bleh bekepit n duk pegang2 sane sini. And I hate when others brand people like me as the ‘second hands’. What the ****? What do you know about second hand? Tolong la. Semua orang buat salah, buat dosa. Habis tu, kalau macam tu ape gunenye taubat kalau first hand n second hand berbeza? I just don’t get it. Please, get a life people. H@fiz [I used to use M@x konon2 nak elak die trace blog aku. takde beza pun Huhu..] had taught me a lot about life ok and I don’t regret even a bit being with him. It’s just that I’m learning in different ways, different pace. And stop being judgmental. You cannot expect other people to have the same frame of minds as you do. People think differently and although they might be wrong at one point or another, it’s their own way of learning. And their own way of repenting.
I’ve always thought that this topic is wasting my time and not worth thinking about but sooner or later I’m going to face marriage anyhow. Tu pon kalau kawen la. Hah hah.. insyaAllah, ameen. But that doesn’t mean that all these ‘love’ ‘relationships’ ‘engagement’ or ‘marriage’ things can be taken slightly. They are serious matters and it’s not gonna be easy once you’ve gotten the responsible as a wife, a husband, a mother or a father. I’ve seen so many cases that people are not happy with their families. And I’ve witnessed as well, those who had problems in the first place ended up living happily in the end. Tu semua Allah dah tentukan, betul tak? Yang penting, all we need to do is keep on praying hard and mudah2an Allah permudahkan urusan kita supaya dapat family yang baik2, yang soleh n solehah.
Oh ade lagi satu cerita kelakar, hari tu duk belek2 The Star ngan Ijun n B@d, tibe2 ade satu iklan gambar, "Ingin mencari janda umur 30an. Tiada anak takpe, ada sorang anak pun takpe. Tak kisah lawa ke tak, yang penting baik hati. Yang benar, encik Yus0f. Boleh hubungi di talian 01&@#%^*!$". Tegelak besar kitorang. Ade jugak orang desperate mcm tu kan. Kesian pakcik tu. Nak offer diri sniri, tak qualified plak, pakcik tu nak janda. Huhu.. dah2, merepek plak.
Jadi kesimpulannya, tak payah la sibuk2 nak carik cinta manusia yg selalu mengecewakan ni. Kejarlah cinta Allah yang Hakiki. Tapi jangan la pulak sampai tak kawen sebab berkahwin tu adalah sebehagian daripada penyempurnaan agama. Mmg Allah dah ciptakan manusia supaya ada perasaan sayang n cinta. And Allah dah berfirman dalam surah An-Naba', "Dan aku ciptakan manusia berpasangan." Aku ada terbaca kat mana ntah, berpasangan ni bukannya maksudnya lelaki n perempuan je. Kecik n besar, pendek n tinggi, gemuk n kurus tu berpasangan jugak. Betul tak? Ok, dah penat dah, nak tido. Esok kene pulun maths plak. Berusaha!~
2 comments:
i'm not really expert in this you know that =b but what i can say is, 'couple' ni selalu between the guy and the girl, doesnt involve family. but when you're engaged, we're talking about both parties involved. and selalunye ada majlis. kire pre-marriage la, i would say. that is what i think.
and talking about different opinions, if you think you look things in different light, so do other people. i mean, you dont have to be affected by what other people say, it's the eyes through which they look. second hand tak second hand ke, biar je la. i know you're pissed off with whatever you've encountered but think more than that. saying they're wrong or blame other people doesn't make you any better so, just accept it. i know you just want to share you thoughts but don't get yourself too carried away with stuff like this. i'm sure you have other things to do right. chill ok :) i'm sure hafiz would be proud of himself if he knew that you still keep 'him' as a part of your blog entries. hehe.. nah, just kidding ;p
uh, u sound just like dr.love. eceh2 suke ar tu. haha.. yep2, i know what u're trying to say tp dina just tak suke je org yg suke take things for granted and judge a book by its cover. ntah.. tapi betul jugak, they have different views so i should respect theirs la kan and cannot expect people to accept mine. betul2.. no worries, he'll NEVER know *wink*
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