Life. Still goes on. Alhamdulillah. Another weekends arrived. Another day ended. Another night yet to be passed. Life. Still goes on.
I don’t know if it’s just me but things have been different. In many ways. I don’t know in what way. But I just feel different. No, not awkward. But different.
Yes, he finally showed up. H@fiz just appeared. Out of nowhere. No, he didn’t change anything. He didn’t say hello. But he did make me feel different. He might have graduated now, as Dr. H@fiz I presume. I don’t know. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I have a patient to meet next week. A person who’s suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Privately, in his house. With his family. Felt a tad excited at first. But the jitters just kicked in. I'm afraid if I caught myself being too emotional. And I’m afraid if I screwed up. I still can’t accept myself being a medic. I just feel different. Along Ima just had her exams. And she didn’t make out. The one and only one who did was the one who’d taken the exam for the third time. Third time. Yes, third time people. And I’m stuck here, being a very first year medic. Clueless. Full of uncertainties. Scared. And hopeless. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I have a brother, a medic as well. In his clinical year. Struggling hard, coping up with things. And he told me not to learn stuff just for passing the exams. But learn to be a good doctor. “Make sure you have anatomy and physiology off the top of your head. Nobody told me that. Along Ima pun baru bgtau. And now I’m regret for just wanting to pass the exams. I just want you to do well. And I want you to be better.” I know he’s my brother. And having a brother to say that is not something to be surprised over. But he’s Lupi. And that makes me feel different. Because he has never told me such thing that could cause me wept buckets. And I feel different. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I’ve gone to the Interprofessional Programme where I got the chance to meet other people from other disciplines. Pharmacy. Nursing. Social Work. My groupmates were great. We worked very well as a team. I really enjoyed the time. But working with the real people out there makes me feel different. I don’t think I’m prepared for that. It was a different environment. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I do skype with Mum everyday. I just had the chance to talk to Angah Aya, Abg @z@m and @ida for the first time yesterday. Can’t imagine how Angah Aya and Along Ima’s generation had survived those years without skype. Thanks to the technology. Nonetheless, despite of having the opportunity to talk to them face to face, I do feel far-off. It’s just different. Seeing Mum’s face. But can’t get near her. Can’t hug her. Can’t kiss her hand. It’s different. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I’ve been crapping like I have nothing else better to do.
But life.
Still goes on.
I don’t know if it’s just me but things have been different. In many ways. I don’t know in what way. But I just feel different. No, not awkward. But different.
Yes, he finally showed up. H@fiz just appeared. Out of nowhere. No, he didn’t change anything. He didn’t say hello. But he did make me feel different. He might have graduated now, as Dr. H@fiz I presume. I don’t know. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I have a patient to meet next week. A person who’s suffering from Parkinson’s disease. Privately, in his house. With his family. Felt a tad excited at first. But the jitters just kicked in. I'm afraid if I caught myself being too emotional. And I’m afraid if I screwed up. I still can’t accept myself being a medic. I just feel different. Along Ima just had her exams. And she didn’t make out. The one and only one who did was the one who’d taken the exam for the third time. Third time. Yes, third time people. And I’m stuck here, being a very first year medic. Clueless. Full of uncertainties. Scared. And hopeless. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I have a brother, a medic as well. In his clinical year. Struggling hard, coping up with things. And he told me not to learn stuff just for passing the exams. But learn to be a good doctor. “Make sure you have anatomy and physiology off the top of your head. Nobody told me that. Along Ima pun baru bgtau. And now I’m regret for just wanting to pass the exams. I just want you to do well. And I want you to be better.” I know he’s my brother. And having a brother to say that is not something to be surprised over. But he’s Lupi. And that makes me feel different. Because he has never told me such thing that could cause me wept buckets. And I feel different. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I’ve gone to the Interprofessional Programme where I got the chance to meet other people from other disciplines. Pharmacy. Nursing. Social Work. My groupmates were great. We worked very well as a team. I really enjoyed the time. But working with the real people out there makes me feel different. I don’t think I’m prepared for that. It was a different environment. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I do skype with Mum everyday. I just had the chance to talk to Angah Aya, Abg @z@m and @ida for the first time yesterday. Can’t imagine how Angah Aya and Along Ima’s generation had survived those years without skype. Thanks to the technology. Nonetheless, despite of having the opportunity to talk to them face to face, I do feel far-off. It’s just different. Seeing Mum’s face. But can’t get near her. Can’t hug her. Can’t kiss her hand. It’s different. But life. Still goes on.
Yes, I’ve been crapping like I have nothing else better to do.
But life.
Still goes on.
I know this is not the most perfect picture I've ever taken but it truely was the most perfect sunset I've ever seen. Sorry for the noise, my camera phone is different. And it couldn't do much :D Yep, life goes on.
3 comments:
my life is going to be different as well. it's a norm. it's some kind of a change. but i hope u have a good change though. life is tough, yes. but it goes on =)
and oh by the way, have u deleted the 'bookmark' of.. you-know-who? come on dina. i know u can do it. hahaha
i noe i can do it too! haha.. dah. semua la dah delete. ym tak ym. frenster tak frenster. fewh!~ :D
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