I believe in love. But I don’t believe in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. I’ve tried but I’m sorry, I just can’t. UNLESS I’ve been jinxed by what I’ve just typed. Hah hah hah.. It’s so funny when the sweetest couple on earth just broke up over some stupid reasons. It’s so funny when the awwwwww-you-guys-are-so-meant-to-be-together relationship has to end because the girl just met another better guy. These things always make me want to laugh. But not anymore though. Because it has become a common thing nowadays.
No, I’m neither the anti-couple nor pro-couple kind of person. I’m neutral for my own personal views. But just within these 24hours, three of my friends just broke up with their so-called sweethearts. I don’t know whether I should be sorry for them. Or should I not? Or should I just ignore, be selfish and go on with my own life? Whatever it is, good luck with your life my friends! Not that it’s something unexpected right? You should be expecting it from the beginning right? No I’m not being cynical but I just think you guys need to grow up first before making any stupid decisions. Be an adult! Get a brain! And then get a life!
Oh I’m not typing at 0230 just to tell you that. Hah.. Now, it’s time for some reflections.
You know how I’ve been quite emotional this lately; coping with John’s goodbye and catching up on studies. It’s quite difficult to handle especially when you’re not quite hormonally balanced if you get what I mean. But Alhamdulillah, Allah is indeed Al-Baasit, The Reliever. I’m getting better now and I’m slowly putting myself in acceptance. I know He must have His own reason for everything that happens around me because He knows best. And yes, I know John’s leaving is the best for me.
Last week, I promised myself to make a phone call to my patient to set a date and time for me to pay him a visit. But I kept on giving myself excuses as I was so nervous and edgy not knowing the right words to ask or say. I knew I had to do it anyway; the earlier the better. So after staring at my phone for quite a while and being unsure of myself whether or not to click the ‘Call’ button, I just rang him up last Friday anyhow. The ringing tone just didn’t get me through, really. Huhu.. Just a few seconds after that, his wife picked up the phone and I heard myself babbling pointlessly. Heh.. So, as what my patient’s wife and I had decided, I visited them this morning [I mean, yesterday morning. Sheesh, cepatnye masa berlalu!].
They live not that far from my place. 30min-walk was bearable and quite soothing actually. I’m quite lucky to get a patient who lives nearby, so that I don’t have to get on a bus or anything. Upon ringing the bell, his wife greeted me nicely and the introduction just went out fine, apart from me being a tad surprised with a presence of a dog inside the house. Heh.. Tapi anjing tu baik je. Comel plak tu. Heh.. Anyway, so I met my patient, finally! Yeay!!~ So that’s the exciting part.
The saddening part on the other hand is the fact that he’s suffering from Parkinson’s Disease (PD) as well as diabetes. His wife kindly printed me a list of medication for Mr James [not his real name, just for confidentiality] and I ran through the long list and thought, “Fuiyoo, banyaknye ubat!! Jenuh la nak makan!”. And then we had some chats.
Mr James is now 65 years old and he was first diagnosed with diabetes and PD 7 years and 5 years ago respectively. He’s been in Leicester since he got married and used to work as a police force and a security guard before he retired. He has a lovely 33 year-old son and two granddaughters [yea, that reminds me of John. Sigh..].
When his GP told him he had PD, he was quite annoyed and couldn’t accept the truth. He just didn’t believe that after all his life spent, he got to end up this way. It took him quite a while to admit it. At first he thought it was the end of everything, being diagnosed with a disease that doesn’t have any cure, for the time being. And he was very embarrassed with himself. It must have been hard for him to swallow everything in one go but he somehow got the strength to fight his life for the better.
After he got hold of the reality, he started to make full use of his new episode in his life. He joined this one Christian club for PD patients and he got the chance to meet other people who are just as unfortunate as him. The club was very useful for him and he came to realise that there are actually many people out there who suffer even more badly. Having very supportive family, neighbours, doctors and other people around makes him appreciate everything even more. He thinks he’s lucky to see the brighter side of his life. And I think so too.
Being in my position, it’s very heartbreaking to listen to other people’s story about how their lives have changed all together after a single simple diagnosis. I could tell from his eyes, how he’s fought very hard to keep his life moving on just as normally as other people’s life. When he was talking to me, he sometimes needed to pause for a while, getting the right nerve working for the right words to say. His body is shaking almost all the time especially his hands and he has a slight difficulty to talk sometimes and it’s very hard for me to see him that way, especially when he kept on hiding his hands from me.
As what it’s said in wikipedia about PD, it’s actually a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system (CNS) that often impairs the sufferer's motor skills and speech. Yes, it has something to do with the nerve. And you know what’s the most emotive and affecting part of this visit? “So do you know what you want to specialise in later on? Neurology?” and I just smiled and said “Well, yea, maybe :)” and that’s just the most encouraging part of all. Because all this while, I really have no idea which specialisation I’d be wanting to go for but there is an instinctive side of me saying that neurology would be the one. And Mr James did give me the hint, didn’t he? Oh well.. I know it’s not important at this stage but I’ll keep that in mind :)
After we chatted for 45 mins, his wife served me a cup and coffee and we had an informal conversation for another few minutes before I made my leave. Mr James and his wife had been very nice to me and I really learned a lot from this visit.
You know at one point, when you think your life is not good enough and you demand more than what you deserve, there are still so many people out there who are struggling hard to get what they actually ought to have. And at the other point, when you think you’re a hopeless failure and don’t feel belonged to the rest of the world, there are still people out there who’re suffering even more but strong enough to fight for their lives. And what’s more important is, as a muslim, we always and always have Allah beside us, all the time, guiding us, helping us to get through this unpredictable life and being there for us to depend on. And we should always be thankful for everything. And this life, this world, belong to Him and He could take them away from us just ANYTIME.
No, I’m neither the anti-couple nor pro-couple kind of person. I’m neutral for my own personal views. But just within these 24hours, three of my friends just broke up with their so-called sweethearts. I don’t know whether I should be sorry for them. Or should I not? Or should I just ignore, be selfish and go on with my own life? Whatever it is, good luck with your life my friends! Not that it’s something unexpected right? You should be expecting it from the beginning right? No I’m not being cynical but I just think you guys need to grow up first before making any stupid decisions. Be an adult! Get a brain! And then get a life!
Oh I’m not typing at 0230 just to tell you that. Hah.. Now, it’s time for some reflections.
You know how I’ve been quite emotional this lately; coping with John’s goodbye and catching up on studies. It’s quite difficult to handle especially when you’re not quite hormonally balanced if you get what I mean. But Alhamdulillah, Allah is indeed Al-Baasit, The Reliever. I’m getting better now and I’m slowly putting myself in acceptance. I know He must have His own reason for everything that happens around me because He knows best. And yes, I know John’s leaving is the best for me.
Last week, I promised myself to make a phone call to my patient to set a date and time for me to pay him a visit. But I kept on giving myself excuses as I was so nervous and edgy not knowing the right words to ask or say. I knew I had to do it anyway; the earlier the better. So after staring at my phone for quite a while and being unsure of myself whether or not to click the ‘Call’ button, I just rang him up last Friday anyhow. The ringing tone just didn’t get me through, really. Huhu.. Just a few seconds after that, his wife picked up the phone and I heard myself babbling pointlessly. Heh.. So, as what my patient’s wife and I had decided, I visited them this morning [I mean, yesterday morning. Sheesh, cepatnye masa berlalu!].
They live not that far from my place. 30min-walk was bearable and quite soothing actually. I’m quite lucky to get a patient who lives nearby, so that I don’t have to get on a bus or anything. Upon ringing the bell, his wife greeted me nicely and the introduction just went out fine, apart from me being a tad surprised with a presence of a dog inside the house. Heh.. Tapi anjing tu baik je. Comel plak tu. Heh.. Anyway, so I met my patient, finally! Yeay!!~ So that’s the exciting part.
The saddening part on the other hand is the fact that he’s suffering from Parkinson’s Disease (PD) as well as diabetes. His wife kindly printed me a list of medication for Mr James [not his real name, just for confidentiality] and I ran through the long list and thought, “Fuiyoo, banyaknye ubat!! Jenuh la nak makan!”. And then we had some chats.
Mr James is now 65 years old and he was first diagnosed with diabetes and PD 7 years and 5 years ago respectively. He’s been in Leicester since he got married and used to work as a police force and a security guard before he retired. He has a lovely 33 year-old son and two granddaughters [yea, that reminds me of John. Sigh..].
When his GP told him he had PD, he was quite annoyed and couldn’t accept the truth. He just didn’t believe that after all his life spent, he got to end up this way. It took him quite a while to admit it. At first he thought it was the end of everything, being diagnosed with a disease that doesn’t have any cure, for the time being. And he was very embarrassed with himself. It must have been hard for him to swallow everything in one go but he somehow got the strength to fight his life for the better.
After he got hold of the reality, he started to make full use of his new episode in his life. He joined this one Christian club for PD patients and he got the chance to meet other people who are just as unfortunate as him. The club was very useful for him and he came to realise that there are actually many people out there who suffer even more badly. Having very supportive family, neighbours, doctors and other people around makes him appreciate everything even more. He thinks he’s lucky to see the brighter side of his life. And I think so too.
Being in my position, it’s very heartbreaking to listen to other people’s story about how their lives have changed all together after a single simple diagnosis. I could tell from his eyes, how he’s fought very hard to keep his life moving on just as normally as other people’s life. When he was talking to me, he sometimes needed to pause for a while, getting the right nerve working for the right words to say. His body is shaking almost all the time especially his hands and he has a slight difficulty to talk sometimes and it’s very hard for me to see him that way, especially when he kept on hiding his hands from me.
As what it’s said in wikipedia about PD, it’s actually a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system (CNS) that often impairs the sufferer's motor skills and speech. Yes, it has something to do with the nerve. And you know what’s the most emotive and affecting part of this visit? “So do you know what you want to specialise in later on? Neurology?” and I just smiled and said “Well, yea, maybe :)” and that’s just the most encouraging part of all. Because all this while, I really have no idea which specialisation I’d be wanting to go for but there is an instinctive side of me saying that neurology would be the one. And Mr James did give me the hint, didn’t he? Oh well.. I know it’s not important at this stage but I’ll keep that in mind :)
After we chatted for 45 mins, his wife served me a cup and coffee and we had an informal conversation for another few minutes before I made my leave. Mr James and his wife had been very nice to me and I really learned a lot from this visit.
You know at one point, when you think your life is not good enough and you demand more than what you deserve, there are still so many people out there who are struggling hard to get what they actually ought to have. And at the other point, when you think you’re a hopeless failure and don’t feel belonged to the rest of the world, there are still people out there who’re suffering even more but strong enough to fight for their lives. And what’s more important is, as a muslim, we always and always have Allah beside us, all the time, guiding us, helping us to get through this unpredictable life and being there for us to depend on. And we should always be thankful for everything. And this life, this world, belong to Him and He could take them away from us just ANYTIME.
3 comments:
couple? hmm...cinta manusia mesti ada pasang surut...tp cinta Ilahi akan kekal sampai bila2..
i really like ur blog...keep it up :)
perrrggh mmg reflective btol la entry ni dina. especially the first two parts. wuahahahaaaa.... -larii!
mimi- betul betul betul!!! hehe.. u like my blog? huhu.. flattered la jugak tp mcm x paham sbb blog ni mcm tahpape je merepek lebih. hehe.. but thanx nway :)
im- yg x puas hati ni pesal. org ade hutang pape ke??? eee kecoh gile. tembak kang, x dpt nak kawen bln depan. haha.. kesian kak jue dpt org yg x matang mcm im. isk3..
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