Thursday, November 15, 2007

Of emotionally affected

“Hi, my name is Elvis.”

That was how he introduced himself during our first group work.

It has been only six weeks. Six weeks. Too early for someone to get personally attached to a person whom she’s known for these few brief weeks. But I accidentally and mistakenly did.

Elvis. That name was who we thought he is, for the first two weeks. Not until he told us the truth! “My name is actually John,” and we felt so stupid to be fooled by a person we barely knew. But as time goes by, he’s just the best guy I’ve ever known ever since I came to Leicester.

John’s 33 and already has two daughters, 7 and 12 years old. He used to be involving in Hotel Management for 10 years before he changed his field to nursing for another couple of years. It’s been a long journey before he got the chance to enrol into a medical school and we could tell how much effort he has sacrificed for that. Being the oldest in the group, he was always there for the rest of us, a ‘brother’ to whom we could talk just anything! He’s the best advisor and supporter in the group and always makes sure we’re on track and didn’t get too carried away with unnecessary things.

Just when we were about to build the strong bond, he encountered some financial and personal problems. And as everything seemed so helplessly inevitable, he didn’t have other choice but to quit medical school. Now, everything seems so dreadful and full of sorrow. I just don’t know why I couldn’t accept the fact that he’d no longer be there for the rest of us like he used to be. I keep on missing in the sea of thoughts ever since, denying the whole thing. It’s just hard for me to take it in. It’s just so hard. So hard.

You know how it feels when someone you love just gone and you know you would never get the chance to see that person again. As if he's dead! It’s a terrible thing to feel. I can’t perceive the fact that I could get so emotionally affected by someone whom I’ve just known for six weeks. I mean, how stupid is that? And how tortuous things can be? Kdg2 tertanya jugak kenapa eh Allah jumpakan aku dengan John and hilangkan dia dalam sekelip mata je. I always know the answer, of course, but I still need some time to seize everything as it is.

He knows how to make brotherly and fatherly jokes. He knows how to bring up a topic. He's smart and brilliant. He knows how to respect younger people. He knows how to bright up people's life. He just basically knows how to be a person. Now he's gone. Eerything seems so empty. And incomplete.

There's nothing much I can say but one thing for certain, if you were to be a doctor, you'd be more than just the best. Goodbye John!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

dina!!! terkejut x kite bg comment?hehe..alala..rindu kat john ke?sedey gak bace entry awak nie.kite pon mesti sedey kalo groupmate kite quit sbb diorg nie best in an annoying way =P.hehe.

eyh,kite dah lame tau awak de blog tp asek lupe nak link je.hehe.sbnrnye kite xnak org2 leicester tau pasal blog kite.segan.tp,korg x segan sgt kot.hehe =) dina,goodluck jumpe patient awak esok~

deynarashid said...

maimot - huhu x tekejut pong. kt tau some of u guys in opal duk bace blog kite. tp x kesah pong :D xyah nak segan2 k, tembak kang.

ha'ah, rindu gile kat john. yg mcm x paham tu nape x bleh terime die quit. bleh tak, time baca hadpop hr tu tetibe mcm break down x pasal2. haha.. lawak2.. homesick pun x penah nangis sedasyat tu. kuangkuangkuang. tp dah ok dah skrg :)