The Unusual Thing

It has been one of the deadliest weeks ever. I’m not gonna complain this time because I notice there has been quite a number of depression and of sorts in the last few posts. And neither am I gonna write good and beautiful topics as there has not been any yet. This might be kind of informal post. Well, I actually don’t have interesting things to write, you see so I’ve gotta make this entry as attention-grabbing as it can [or might turn out the most lame entry I’ve ever posted. Maybe.. Heh..].

So..

Ermm…

It goes like this…

Hmm…

How do I put this? Ermm..

See, this is lame really. Doesn’t seem interesting at all..

What if I’m coming to the end?

Ok laa macam ni.. [this is super lame..i know..]

“Budak tu terer gile. Dah ade SRP! Bla bla bla… die penah masuk silat gayung, takewando, aikido, kick boxing bla bla.. tapi die kate silat cekak gak paling best.. dah ar lagi terer dari ***** [or also known to me as mr 768477.. yep, him..] bla bla bla..” I said to Akma|. I hoped her to reply something that shows her amazement, but she didn’t. My intention to engage an exciting conversation was dramatically tempered.

“Aish ko ni dina.. macam2 ko tau pasal budak tu. takkan sekarang ko nak ade skandal dgn budak tu pulak. Dulu dah ade skandal ngan ***** dah ar..”. I was like “WOW!!! What a statement!!!” – dalam hati je ah. Visibly, I just acted blur.

With only those words she spitted out on my face, my whole mind was somewhat disrupted. Emotionally, my thought did slightly change way towards all those memories involving ‘him’ but ironically, it was not as usual. Segala mak nenek tibe2 muncul dalam kotak fikiranku [cewah ayat bajet bagus..]. From fer0z to a|itt to m@x to the stalker to sh@h [mr 768477’s friend], everything just popped into my thought. I’ve never written anything regarding fer0z because it was like so sooo long ago but what I can say is, he was the first person I knew through the chatroom which eventually brought me to a|itt and m@x. Complex, I know. But anyways, what came to my mind was this…

Let say your name is H@na and you have a crush on this person, A. To make this story dramatic, let say you actually fall in love with him. He’s the finest guy you’ve ever met and he’s the only person you want to be with through your entire life. But unfortunately, he doesn’t know and you’re not intending to let him know. You’re not that close to him, just a friend and not more than that. You’re really fall for him such that you think you see a glimmer of hope to grow but at the end of the day, the hope you’ve foreseen shatters into pieces because he’s got to go far far away and you think you can never meet him again. You’re very very very disappointed and frustrated and having no choice, you have to pretend and indirectly lying to yourself.

Eventually, you think you’re doing ok until one day, another person, B comes into your life. And what’s worse, he’s the super best friend of the person’s you have the crush on, A. But that’s ok; you don’t tell B and you just keep that to yourself. For unknown reason, B confesses that he likes you and hopes you can somehow give him a commitment. You’re now indecisive because i) he’s a very nice guy and you do adore him although not really FALL for him and ii) he is A’s super best friend, to whom you still attach a tad of your hope. But since you have no choice and B is a really good and nice guy, you decide to commit.

After a while, you’re now become more closer to B and he is just the right person for you to tell everything to. He’s a good listener, very understanding, very supportive and you start to believe that you almost find your Mr. Perfect. One day, without having any intention to hurt him whatsoever, you tell him about your deepest secret, the one you have never told anyone else, that you have once had a crush on A. He shows a gaze of disappointment although he tries hard not to. You do understand how he feels of course, and apologize. But being so understanding and soooo gentleman, he replies, “If I were to make a wish, I wish he loved you in return, as much as you do”. And much to a surprise, his reply makes you love him more.

A few days after that…through Yah00 Messenger..
B: A, aku nak bgtau ko satu bende ni..
A: Aku pun!!! Aku excited sangat ni!!
B: Haa…ko cakap la dulu..
A: Ko ingat tak budak yang aku penah ckp dulu yang bagi aku hadiah CD Maxim tu?
B: Ooow budak tu…yang ko tegile2 sangat tu.. haa ingat2..ko contact die lagi ke?
A: Dah lame gile tak contact… tapi aku tekejut die bagi aku e-card birthday! Ingatkan die dah tak ingat aku dah
B: Haha...kire happy gile ah ni?
A: Mesti ah…. *suara kegembiraan* Ko nak tau satu rahsie tak?
B: Ape?
A: Actually ko kenal budak tu… Ingat tak budak yang kite nampak kat Mid tu?
B: H@na?
A: Haaa…budak tu laa!!

Jeng jeng jeng….after a few minutes of chatting..
A: Haa..ape yang ko nak bgtau aku tadi?
B: Errmm.. aiseh, aku lupe siot..

In conclusion, B knows everything. He knows that you used to like A so much, he knows that A actually likes you as well, and he knows that you’re still trying hard to win A’s heart. And because B loves you so much, he makes a sacrifice that no one could ever make…

B tells you everything on the phone, about how A feels towards you. You try so hard not to sound very delightful but he somehow knows that you’re the happiest person ever at that moment. And he finally says:
“H@na, I’m ready to step aside and let you get what you deserve. I know A is just the right person for you and I can guarantee you that he’ll make you happy and this is the time for you to materialize your ever dreamt wish.. You’ve been a very great friend and so has he. Both of you are the special people in my life and I want you guys to be happy. And seeing you guys happy is my happiness..”

Now, the decision is in your hand. Whichever path you take, you will never get the same result as another path offers you. It’s hard and difficult isn’t it? And if I were you, I wish I could never be H@na. Deciding over two guys who you love so much is like killing yourself and the worst part is to let one of them go..

Now, you may ask “ape kene mengene cite H@na ngan ape yang Akma| cakap tu?”. Well, A is actually mr. 768477 but B and H@na are vaguely in reality. You get what I mean? No?? Well, in short, Ru$hdina S0fia is a weird person, you see.. and making up stories is one of her talents. There is where the unusual thing comes in..

Which path to take?

P/S: I'm not H@na, so don't be confused. And again, just to remind you that this is a made up story so don't be fooled. Creativity stimulates mind, right? ;)