Saturday, April 29, 2006

How time flies..

It's been a week I'm crashing my head off with all those bad thoughts. You know, when the exam mode keeps having a peek on me, it really makes me uneasy. With buckleloads of topics that I have not covered yet. Plus, the undone syllabus. And the thought of 'Oh, if I did not get A, I will bla bla bla..'. You know what I mean.

People around started to ramble about University application. Which University I'm planning to go is a question that I myself can't give any answer. I have done PBL (Problem Based Learning) on Maths last sem and I quite have a knowledge about it but I'm not sure if I can cope everything well when it comes to medicine. I'm not certain about how it gets to me when I have to get involved in PBL on diseases and clinical stuff. I hope it's not going to be that bad though. But that's the case, I don't know and am not sure which Univ to apply for. Or how risky it can be or what's the difference between the Univs that will be calling for interviews the ones that would not conduct any interview. Oh well..That are the things that I should know by now right?

Yesterday Athirah sms-ed me. We chatted for a while. The moment when I told her about interesting stuff that I'm going to have after the examination weeks, an unpleasant wave was sent down my spine. 'Ada student dinner, end sem dinner, house farewell party, ecotrip to teluk rubia..' and I could not continue listing. You know why? Because the thought of seeing seniors leave the college deeply saddened me to a whole. And particularly seeing him go away forever. Sheesh..I can't believe how I would feel when he's miles away. I can't imagine how I would survive without his presence beside. And I just can't..Just can't imagine how my whole life would be, having to live with a thought of not ever going to see him again! Well, I'm trying to get rid of this feelings really but it just gets hard on me. I really hope I could go through this life as happily as I can. I don't know. I'm going to miss him for sure :'(

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

-What Hurts The Most, Rascal Flatts-

2 comments:

Metal Grey Mon said...

ecey.. misteri sey de nih.. haha.. nape tuka url? erm.. btw sbox mane? hehe

deynarashid said...

armh- saje tukar..sbb tak suke org ramai tau..dulu igtkan bleh remain anonymous tp org yg tak disangka2 pun bace my blog..maleh ah..heh..dah, sbox dah kembali! ;p