“It was the last ray of twilight when my Dad told me that Mum was undergoing a Caesarean delivery for my last sibling. Being a five-year-old girl without knowing the exact meaning of ‘life’ had put me into a very deep confusion. I did not know what it was all about but my thoughts flew off and Mum’s image wandered around my mind. How I wished to be beside her in the operation theatre and comforted her with every will I had. There was a moment of awkwardness, as I tried desperately to come up with a way to explain my thoughtlessness but Dad always saved me from agitation. “One day, you will understand.” He looked at me and I could see his eyes reflecting an image of his mystified daughter, me, a great white hope. Ever since, that was what sparked my interest in medicine.”
Every time I read again my personal statement for the mara interview, I could not feel the joy of being in kyu3m. You know why? Because not even in million years I’ve ever dreamt of being in such place. A place in which people want to study so badly. To tell you the truth, I did not do my interview that well or rather; I think I messed it up. Remember that silly question the panel asked me about that basketball thingy, I think I was so dumb to explain enthusiastically about something I did not know. I thought I didn’t get the scholarship.
As compared to the other nine mara scholars, I always believe that I’m the tenth in the list. And I don’t even care if I was the eleventh and not being chosen to study in kyu3m. But then again, I’ve always deemed this as a God sent that keeps me going and walking on a path that leads to my hopes and dreams.
But this is not the main point of this entry. Reading my PS brought me back into the past of being a 5-year-old girl. Albeit that little girl knew nothing about ‘caesarean’ she sobbed like hell when she knew that her Mum was in the OT, delivering her younger sister. She could not stop crying and accept the fact that her Mum was being operated and was going to bear a sore pain. She sat alone on the stairs, thinking about her Mum. When her Mum had got back home, she spent most of her time beside her Mum, trying to help her Mum out in any way she could. When her Mum slept, she laid beside, waiting for her Mum to wake up. And when her Mum woke up, she smiled; trying to tell her Mum that everything was ok.
Year by year, the girl had grown up. She tried to leave the memory behind and she never thought that her Mum would never by any means confront the same thing again. But her thought was wrong. When her Mum was identified to have a fibroid and needed to undergo an operation to ditch that thing, although she hated it, she hardly tried to accept it. Her endless support was what kept her believed that her Mum was going to be fine. She stayed at the hospital through out the days, waiting and accompanying her Mum. And thank Allah, now her Mum is in a healthy glow.
A couple of years back; the girl had one of the toughest moments in her life when her Mum had to leave her for a sabbatical in Manchester. She still remembers the minute her Mum waved her hand as she left her at the gate of the college; she shed a tear and thought how dreary her life would be without her Mum beside. She led a hard life back then. When her roommates called their mothers and tell everything about school, she could just sit back and thought of her Mum and wept at night. Her Mum seldom called her though but the feelings were not the same especially when she knew that her Mum was million miles away and she had not seen her Mum for months. She missed her terribly but she could do nothing.
Several months after that, she flew off to Manchester to see her Mum and family after being apart for quite a while. She did not mind to travel there all by her own because she knew that someone she loved was actually waiting for her. All way through, she was ushered by an officer and upon entering the waiting hall, she could see her Mum, smiling and waving her hand. Could it not be helped, she cried for joy.
Today, that little girl is no longer a 5-year-old-girl. She is now in a journey towards fulfilling her Mum’s hope of becoming a ‘person’ whom her Mum wants her to be. She knows that she can never repay her Mum’s great personal sacrifices because they are just too valuable and priceless. The only thing that she can do to make her Mum happy is to excel in whatever she does and pray her Mum for the best. Maybe her Mum does not know how much that grown-up little girl loves her but what really matters is Allah does know how much she wants to get the best for her Mum because after so many years of living, her Mum has made her believes that she is the luckiest girl in the world for having such a great Mum.
Every time I read again my personal statement for the mara interview, I could not feel the joy of being in kyu3m. You know why? Because not even in million years I’ve ever dreamt of being in such place. A place in which people want to study so badly. To tell you the truth, I did not do my interview that well or rather; I think I messed it up. Remember that silly question the panel asked me about that basketball thingy, I think I was so dumb to explain enthusiastically about something I did not know. I thought I didn’t get the scholarship.
As compared to the other nine mara scholars, I always believe that I’m the tenth in the list. And I don’t even care if I was the eleventh and not being chosen to study in kyu3m. But then again, I’ve always deemed this as a God sent that keeps me going and walking on a path that leads to my hopes and dreams.
But this is not the main point of this entry. Reading my PS brought me back into the past of being a 5-year-old girl. Albeit that little girl knew nothing about ‘caesarean’ she sobbed like hell when she knew that her Mum was in the OT, delivering her younger sister. She could not stop crying and accept the fact that her Mum was being operated and was going to bear a sore pain. She sat alone on the stairs, thinking about her Mum. When her Mum had got back home, she spent most of her time beside her Mum, trying to help her Mum out in any way she could. When her Mum slept, she laid beside, waiting for her Mum to wake up. And when her Mum woke up, she smiled; trying to tell her Mum that everything was ok.
Year by year, the girl had grown up. She tried to leave the memory behind and she never thought that her Mum would never by any means confront the same thing again. But her thought was wrong. When her Mum was identified to have a fibroid and needed to undergo an operation to ditch that thing, although she hated it, she hardly tried to accept it. Her endless support was what kept her believed that her Mum was going to be fine. She stayed at the hospital through out the days, waiting and accompanying her Mum. And thank Allah, now her Mum is in a healthy glow.
A couple of years back; the girl had one of the toughest moments in her life when her Mum had to leave her for a sabbatical in Manchester. She still remembers the minute her Mum waved her hand as she left her at the gate of the college; she shed a tear and thought how dreary her life would be without her Mum beside. She led a hard life back then. When her roommates called their mothers and tell everything about school, she could just sit back and thought of her Mum and wept at night. Her Mum seldom called her though but the feelings were not the same especially when she knew that her Mum was million miles away and she had not seen her Mum for months. She missed her terribly but she could do nothing.
Several months after that, she flew off to Manchester to see her Mum and family after being apart for quite a while. She did not mind to travel there all by her own because she knew that someone she loved was actually waiting for her. All way through, she was ushered by an officer and upon entering the waiting hall, she could see her Mum, smiling and waving her hand. Could it not be helped, she cried for joy.
Today, that little girl is no longer a 5-year-old-girl. She is now in a journey towards fulfilling her Mum’s hope of becoming a ‘person’ whom her Mum wants her to be. She knows that she can never repay her Mum’s great personal sacrifices because they are just too valuable and priceless. The only thing that she can do to make her Mum happy is to excel in whatever she does and pray her Mum for the best. Maybe her Mum does not know how much that grown-up little girl loves her but what really matters is Allah does know how much she wants to get the best for her Mum because after so many years of living, her Mum has made her believes that she is the luckiest girl in the world for having such a great Mum.
All my life you've been there
Any time and any where
When I was young
And even now that I am older.
I have always known
You've done the best you could
Circumstances change, lives change
But family ties are strong.
I want you to know how much
I respect what you have done
For me, for others,
And even for yourself.
When problems knock you down
You just slowly, steadily,
adjust your shoulders
And then move on.
Many others would give up,
On love and on life, but you haven't.
You've continued,
Stronger, calmer, and with determination.
That's what you are,
strong, loving, caring, and dependable.
And yet still more
You are my mom.
And I love you.
Happy Birthday Mom,
With lots of love, dina :)
Any time and any where
When I was young
And even now that I am older.
I have always known
You've done the best you could
Circumstances change, lives change
But family ties are strong.
I want you to know how much
I respect what you have done
For me, for others,
And even for yourself.
When problems knock you down
You just slowly, steadily,
adjust your shoulders
And then move on.
Many others would give up,
On love and on life, but you haven't.
You've continued,
Stronger, calmer, and with determination.
That's what you are,
strong, loving, caring, and dependable.
And yet still more
You are my mom.
And I love you.
Happy Birthday Mom,
With lots of love, dina :)
5 comments:
=) if your mom knew that you post a special entry for her birthday, she would feel flattered...wish her for me kalau rasa masih tak lambat la...hihiks~
happy birthday deyna's mum!
joe- mcm penah dgr je name joemiller ni. aish..tu la, selalu sgt mimpi2 pelik, name pelik2 pun jadik familiar. huhu.. thanx joe :) i've clicked urs..nice blog too!
sya- tanak bagitau sebab nanti die nangis bace. dan aku pun akan turut serta. heh..yea, i'll wish her hepi belated je la. thanx
teek- on behalf of my mum, thanx teek :)
she's lucky!
:) i noe
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