Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Heartbreaker, am I?

JS: I’m not angry deyna
JS: I’m just upset n disappointed, I really do
JS: You were always there with me all the time back then
JS: but out of a sudden u went away
JS: if this is the price that I have to pay
JS: I eat it up n spit it out
JS: I'll take ur blame for whatever cause, and if u prefer me to pay for what I hv done to u, I am willing to pay.
JS: here's the situation: when somebody you call a sis, given that you dont have any female siblings, whom you treat and admire and support and love n be nice to, whom you try your very best to make her happy and comfortable, leaves u without a word spoken nor a trail to follow without a reason nor possible hate and anger that grow, what do you feel?
JS: until u get what I feel, deyna, I think u have to think about it
JS: first tear after 2 months. thanx sis.
JS: u take care. get back to me when ur ready
JS: nite. slm. bye.

Ada orang merajuk dan membuat aku rasa sangat bersalah. Macam mana ni? Benda sekecil zarah pun boleh jadi masalah sebesar cakerawala. Susah betul.

Dulu masa waktu aku gaduh-gaduh dengan H, dia kata dia tak marah tapi dia kecewa sebab aku tak bagitau dia satu benda penting. Aku kata kat H yang aku buat semua benda tu untuk kepentingan dua-dua belah pihak. “What do you mean for the common good? Maybe it’s just for your own sake but please don’t say you did that for my benefit”.

Kadang-kadang kita tak boleh nak harapkan orang lain faham dengan semua tindakan kita. Walau sejauh mana keikhlasan kita, kalau diorang tak faham jugak, kita tak boleh nak salahkan diorang. Mungkin kita dan mereka tiada persefahaman atau wavelength yang sama. Tapi normal la kan. Masing-masing ada pendirian tersendiri.

“Get back to me when you’re ready” kata JS. Aku tak faham sangat. Sebab aku tak rasa aku tak bersedia. Aku dah bersedia lama dah. Cuma dia je yang tidak bersedia untuk menerima hujah-hujah aku. Habistu, salah aku ke?
photo taken by MaD Gi®L•™.
I’m so sorry, JS. I did that just because I don’t want to get into falling-outs. Because I know, you would never understand. I'm sorry.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

na, suke la encik JS ittew...cam sweet je ym die kat awk..lol...

deynarashid said...

haha whatever!